


Less Morose and More Present

by mottsforthots



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ballerina, Ballerino, Ballet, Chapter count may change, Childhood Trauma, Depressed Rey, Depression, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, HEA, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Rey (Star Wars), Pregnant Sex, Prima Ballerina, Prima ballerina Rey, Primo Ballerino, Primo ballerino Ben, Rey Needs A Hug, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Stress, Stressed Ben, Tags May Change, Time Jump, Unplanned Pregnancy, Verbal Abuse, time jumps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:34:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 60,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26942221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mottsforthots/pseuds/mottsforthots
Summary: Depression makes it hard to dance the way she used to. A harsh personal trainer who pushes him to the edge never makes him feel good enough. When a curious yet demanding Ben Solo chooses dispassionate Rey to be his prima in their upcoming show, the ballerino makes it his personal mission to train her to perfection and get to the bottom of her troubles while a deeper relationship grows between the two.DISCLAIMER: I have never done ballet, so everything in this fic has either been researched or learned about from mutuals. Thank you.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 120
Kudos: 327
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Day 1, pt. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beautiful friends Hope, Sophie, and Margaret for reading this fic and helping me add all the details. xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! xx

_Rey giggled as she bounded down the stairs, her tiny fingers clutching onto the wooden rail that helped guide her one by one down the carpeted steps. Her first pair of pale pink ballet slippers were snug on her feet and she couldn’t hold back the smile that seemed to stretch from ear to ear, excited to show her parents the new outfit they’d bought for her._

_She didn’t really pay attention to the fact there was barely any furniture in the tiny home, the desire to put on a performance for her parents too important than anything else. As soon as Rey turned the corner to find her parents sitting on the couch, she immediately gave out a thrilled squeal and ran in front of them to show it off._

_“Oh, Rey… you look so beautiful, sweetheart,” her mother cooed from her spot on the leather sofa. Rey looked up at her with one of her award winning grins, but furrowed her eyebrows when she realized her mother’s face was blurry and indistinguishable. When she gazed to her father next who also complimented her on the sheer black skirt, his face matched the woman next to her._

_“Why don’t you dance for us, Rey? Show us what you’ve learned in your classes?” her mother pushed, adjusting on the couch to lean forward as adoration flowed through her voice. Rey swallowed hard as she moved her attention once more to her mother’s blurry face, but she didn’t want to disappoint them, so she started to show off what she’d learned for their Nutcracker show._

_They were supposed to perform it in a few weeks, and she’d really only learned the pirouettes in the group movement, so Rey displayed those first before demonstrating her tendu’s and pli_ _é'_ _s. Her parents watched without a word as she moved across their wooden floors, the petal colored slippers flawless against the flat surface while her sheer black skirt fluttered out around her with every graceful turn._

_There was no music playing for her to dance along to, but Rey made it up inside of her head and imagined her dance instructor commenting from the front of the room about how her toes needed to point more, or how her legs needed to be straighter._

_The areas she needed to improve had played through her mind on a loop when her instructor had given them to her, and she'd been bound and determined to improve on every one. Well,_ most _of them, anyway._

_One thing she had been told she absolutely needed to work on were her facial expressions and Rey knew that there was a certain look ballerina’s needed to have on their faces when they danced, but she could only manage a beaming smile that showed off her missing front teeth. It seemed her dance instructor had given up on this one for the time being, anyway._

_When she finally finished what all she could display for them, Rey bowed, trying to catch her breath as she looked once more to her parent’s hazy faces. She wasn’t really sure why she couldn’t see what they looked like, but she tried to pay it no mind as a string of praise came from their foggy lips._

_“You’re such a beautiful dancer, Rey,” her mother fawned with a certain tone that only a mother could have when they loved their child more than anything in the world._

_“I already know you’re going to be the best ballerina on that stage,” her father assured next. Rey giggled and ducked her head with a blush as she twiddled with her fingers behind her back and thanked them softly._

_Despite the odd way her parents' forms blurred in and out, Rey was happy— but what happened next immediately sucked every ounce of joy from her tiny body_ _. The room quivered around her like an earthquake_ _and without warning, the breath was stolen from her lungs as she tumbled down, down, down_ _._

_She landed on something firm only moments later, frightened tears now in her eyes while she stared at the back of her parents’ heads from the rear of the car._ _They were talking in panicked, hushed whispers, ones that immediately made Rey uneasy as she looked between the two adults in the front seat._

_"Where are we going?" Rey asked, her voice small and broken, holding a weight that hadn't been there only a few seconds ago._

_Her father turned the car rather sharply as her mother looked over her shoulder and reached out to place a cold hand overtop Rey’s miniscule one. “We’re going to take you someplace safe, baby. Don’t worry.” Rey’s eyes flicked down to her mother’s arm, small punctures crawling up the pale skin dotted with purple bruises._

_Her mother pulled away before Rey could look any longer._

_The car parked abruptly and her parents withdrew from their seats, opening their doors with the same hurried manner that had been exhibited when they were driving. Her mother opened Rey’s door and pulled her out of the seat, clutching her to a rather thin frame, before dashing behind her father up the concrete path to a very run down looking home._

_An overweight man who looked like he hadn't showered in weeks opened the door with an irritated scowl after Rey’s father pounded on the door with a frenzied passion. Rey tucked her face into her mother’s chest, peaking out with wary eyes as the phrases, “don’t have the money right now…” “they’re coming” and “we’ll come back to get her soon” were tossed around in the air._

_The next thing Rey knew, she was being handed over to the grubby man that seemed as reluctant to take her as she was at being given away. Who was this man? Why did he smell so horrible? Why were his eyes filled with a certain emotion Rey couldn’t pinpoint but made her feel uneasy all the same?_

_The tears that had built up in her eyes now flowed down her cheeks and she turned to reach for her mother with a small whine at the same time the older woman handed a tiny bag to Plutt belonging to Rey. Her mother clambered down onto her knees right after and placed shaking hands on Rey’s shoulders. Her face was still hazy, but Rey could just barely understand her mother was crying as well._

_“Mommy and daddy need to go away for a little bit, okay? Some not very nice people are looking for us and you might get hurt if we keep you around. We’re going to take care of the mean people and come get you when it’s all over with, okay? Plutt’s going to take care of you while we’re gone. We’ll be back soon, sweetheart. We promise.”_

_We promise…_

Rey woke up sharply from her dream, her eyes frantic and skin freezing from the cold sweat she’d erupted into during the night. Gasping for breath, she ran a hand down her icy face, all while attempting to calm her breathing and bring her mind back down to Earth. 

“It’s a dream, Rey… it’s a dream,” she whispered to herself. It took a while for her heart to return to what she deemed normal, and when it did, Rey collapsed on her bed to stare at the ceiling above her.

She was twenty-four now, far past the age of having nightmares of her childhood that loomed so distantly in her past. Her parents never came back, and they never _were_ going to come back, so Rey had no idea why the memory was haunting her in her sleep-- more often than it ever had before. 

Rey took in a deep and soothing breath before turning her attention to the alarm clock set up beside her bed. It took roughly two seconds for her to scream, “ _Shit!_ ” and jump out of bed with another accelerated heart beat. 

If there was one thing Rey didn’t need, it was to be late for work. Her whole life revolved around ballet since she was little and she certainly couldn’t afford to lose her job now. She knew better than anybody that it was an honor to dance for the New York City Ballet Company, something many aspiring ballerinas dreamed of. 

She'd gotten in on raw talent alone, but Rey knew that wouldn't keep her spot there forever. She'd have to work her ass off, and give it her best effort… unless she _wanted_ to be replaced by someone younger, or more beautiful.

Rey rushed to her closet to pull on the first high-neck black leotard she could find along with a sheer, long sleeved tie-top that matched the color of her pale pink slippers. Black leg warmers were added as a last minute thought.So what if all of her clothes were picked up from the ground?

Her bag containing everything she’d need for the day was slung over her shoulder at the last second before she was out the door and rushing down the streets of New York-- bare legs entirely on display. Rey’s neighborhood wasn’t in a very good location, but fear of who she might run into on the way to the Lincoln Center plaza was the last thing on her mind.

The ratty sneakers she’d managed to slip on before fleeing her apartment remained unlaced around her ankles while her nimble fingers grasped the ballet slippers like her life depended on it. Rey knew that she had hair ties and bobby pins floating somewhere around in the bottom of her bag-- she was too poor to lose them-- so she made a mental note to find those as soon as she arrived so she could put her hair up.

_Fuck,_ she just knew everyone else would already be there--punctual and on time, like a good ballerina should be--and she'd bet her last dollar that Zorii had been one of the first to show. 

Zorii had been her biggest competition over the last couple of years, though competition wasn’t really the word that should be used to describe their dynamic anymore.

If Rey was being honest with herself, Zorii was blowing her completely out of the water. Everyone knew that Rey had been losing her passion for ballet. She still adored it with every fiber of her being, but… depression made it hard to do the things she loved the most. 

Rey didn’t really want to acknowledge that she had depression, but it seemed like everyone else around her had. She no longer danced with a smile, her eyes were lifeless in the mirror, her body didn’t flow like it used to, and it seemed like all of her joints had morphed into stiff connections. Overall, she danced exactly like how she felt-- _apathetic and detached_. 

There had been a rumor going around that Rey was actually going to be let go after the season ended because of the way she danced. She’d heard the other dancers whispering behind her back that their artistic director mentioned they could no longer afford to keep a ballerina in their company who didn’t have the same passion as others. 

It didn’t even matter that Rey had been dancing for the company for five years, either.

And even though she’d heard this rumor, _and believed it herself,_ Rey still couldn’t find a sense to care. She’d find somewhere else, maybe not as notorious, but she’d keep dancing one way or another. 

It came as a surprise then that she actually made it to the Lincoln Center with five minutes to spare before practice began. Rey hopped down the hallways to the changing rooms, tugging off her ratty sneakers to pull on the pointe shoes that were required for rehearsal. 

She all but dumped her bag on the floor by the benches and laced up the silky ribbons around her ankles at record speed before barging into the giant room that held the barres they warmed up on.

All eyes turned to her, a few snickers echoing in the black room as Rey blushed and diverted her attention to the floor. She scurried to an open spot behind Rose, one of the only other ballerinas that was kind to her, and grasped the barre to start a quick personal warm up. “Here, you might need this,” Rose whispered, turning around to hand Rey a hair tie.

Rey’s eyes widened and she quickly tied her hair up into a ponytail at the same time the artistic director barged into the room and turned his tanned face to all of the women and men warming up from below the balcony he observed from. “Listen up! Today’s going to be different today!

“I’ve posted a sheet of names in the hallway outside of my office that I want all of you to go look at as soon as I finish talking. These names were chosen after careful consideration and have been selected to audition for the spot of prima ballerina in the production of Manon we’ll be putting on this season.

“Auditions will be held in 10 minutes in studio A. Primo ballerino Ben Solo will be there to observe as he’s going to be the one leading the show along with whomever we select.” Rey’s lips parted as she stared up at the artistic director, her eyes never seeming to be able to look away from his attractive face. 

Poe had been the primo ballerino for a while at the New York City Ballet Company, but had retired early after a severe brain injury when he’d been dropped during a warm up with the other ballerinos. The muscle was still there underneath his sun-kissed skin, but his face had grown lines in it over the years after accepting the position of artistic director. 

That being said, even Rey couldn’t look at him for too long because her inner attraction for older men told her loudly in the back of her brain that Poe was shockingly handsome. So she turned her eyes back down to the poor lace work she’d done around her ankles with the slipper’s ribbons and hoped she wasn’t blushing.

As soon as the door closed behind Poe, all of the women were racing out of the room with their pointe slippers on to swarm the paper. Excited murmurs and squeals overlapped with dismayed mumbling and disappointed eyes as Rey slowly approached behind the crowd to peer at the list. “ _I thought she was being fired at the end of the season,_ ” someone hissed from somewhere beside her.

Rey frowned at the familiar statement and gently pushed past two people who were observing the list. Third from the top under the heading **PRIMA BALLERINA** was **REY NIIMA.** Her mouth immediately went dry and she stared at her name for a long enough time that the crowd eventually dwindled down to just her and a few others.

“Congratulations, Rey! You should be really proud,” Rose cheered as she came to stand next to her. Rey blinked a few times and turned to look at the shorter woman, offering a small smile that never reached her eyes.

“Thank you, Rose. I see you made it too,” Rey replied in the soft voice she always had around others. Rose nodded excitedly and looped her arm around Rey’s, tugging them in the direction of studio A while those who hadn’t been selected moped as they returned to studio C. 

Rey’s heart thundered in her chest and she couldn’t for the life of her begin to understand why she’d been chosen to audition for the role of prima ballerina in _Manon._ She’d only ever been a supporting dancer in their performances and she never once thought herself good enough to audition for a lead role. 

_Why on earth would Poe put her name on the list if the rumor was that she was going to be let go by him later on?_

Her thoughts were cut off when Rose pushed open the main door leading to Studio A and dragged her inside. Studio A was covered with mirrors on every wall except for the back wall and every corner that wasn’t a reflective surface was coated in white paint. 

Rey’s eyes went wide as she stepped into the modern and airy room with Rose, all anxious thoughts leaving her brain while she soaked in the area she’d never stepped foot into before. This studio was reserved for the prima and primo and lead supporting dancers, so it had never been touched by her feet until today.

The small group of others that had been chosen to audition as well had lined up against the back wall and Rey let Rose pull her to the very end of the line that bounced with excitement. Rey allowed herself to look at the girls’ reflection, making note of the fact that Zorii was fourth in the line and already smirking at her.

Rey quickly turned her attention to the table set up against the opposite wall that contained one single chair but nobody to fill it. A few confused murmurs were heard down the line, but everyone instantly shut up when the back door slammed open and a broody looking man who stood well over six feet tall came striding into the room.

He was nothing but defined muscle, black hair, sharp angles, and dark eyes and Rey couldn’t seem to keep her gaze off of him. He grumbled as he dropped a clipboard onto the table and sunk into the chair behind it, one of his equally giant hands running through his long raven locks while he examined what Rey assumed was the list with their names on it.

Rey had always heard about Ben Solo, and she’d seen him dance numerous times, but her gaze was always from a distance and she’d never been in the same room as him before. He was built like a fucking _fridge,_ if she was being honest.

“Right. You’re all here because the previous prima ballerina, Kaydel Connix, has quit. We need to fill the new spot and our artistic director selected the ten of you to audition for me. My name is Ben Solo, I’m the primo ballerino here for the New York City Ballet Company. When I call your name, just come do some shit you think will impress me, I don’t know.” 

His voice was laced with an obviously frustrated and tired tone, but no one seemed affected by it as much as Rey was. She couldn’t care less if he was ecstatic about having a new partner or not. It was the way his voice dripped like thick honey off of his tongue and filled her ears to the point all other sounds faded away-- and when his dark brown eyes found hers, Rey didn’t look elsewhere for once.

He frowned a little at the eye contact but was ultimately the one who broke it, calling forward the first girl while Rey started to fidget with her hands. She knew that Solo obviously wasn’t interested in the audition based on the way he said _‘do some shit you think will impress me’_ , so she started to run through things she could do while the others performed.

Only Zorii seemed to get her attention, her legs straight and toes curled like a sickle while her face portrayed every emotion a ballerina should have. Rey didn’t even want to get started on the fact that Solo never took his eyes off of her either like he did with the others before her. 

In the end, Zorii walked away after bowing and smirked victoriously as she strode to the new line being formed on one side of the room for those that had performed. For another ten minutes or so, Rey watched as the line dwindled and Solo scribbled down notes on the clipboard next to the list of names. 

Rose thankfully went before Rey, the petite woman all but gliding across the floor with elegant arms and pointed toes, everything any professional could hope for in a ballerina. Solo didn’t write much about her either, and Rey had a feeling Rose would definitely be one of the finalists from the ten that had been selected.

She didn’t realize it was her turn until Solo called her name a second time with a raised eyebrow. _Was it bad that she hadn’t really registered any sound since he’d spoken and told them to perform whatever they wanted to? Fuck, had people said anything to him before the started dancing?_

Rey wasn’t sure if it was because of pre-existing jitters from being almost late or just because she hadn’t been paying attention to what everyone else had done, but she hurriedly took steps towards the center of the room and blurted out, “Thank you for allowing me to audition for you today. I really appreciate the…” 

She trailed off when she realized everyone was staring at her with shocked eyes and Zorii was hiding her laughter behind the back of her hand. Rey’s face instantly turned red and she quickly looked down, giving a slight bow before starting her solo audition. If she was being completely honest, Rey had no idea what she was showing off to the primo ballerino.

Her head seemed to go empty after her public embarrassment and Rey restored to retreating to the safety of her mind where all that existed was dance and a quiet hum. Her feet carried her across the floor and her face remained blank, but her legs were straight and her feet were pointed and her arms definitely weren’t the worst they’ve ever been. By the time she finished, everyone seemed bored except for Solo.

Rey gave one final bow to him and moved off of the floor without another meeting of his gaze. The room was quiet for a while as everyone waited for him to gather his thoughts and read through his notes. Solo stood abruptly after roughly five minutes passed and everyone instantly straightened up as he flipped through his notes and approached them.

“Jessika, Tallie, Paige, Bazine, and Nymeria… you’re all too lazy with your grande jetés and chainés. Rose, Zorii, Dasha, and Karé… you’re all good but need to work more on facial expressions, either toning them down or bringing them more to light.

“And that leaves Miss Niima… you’re stiff, dispassionate, emotionless, and frankly need a lot of work, so I think we should get started as soon as possible to fix those things and shape you into what I’m needing in a partner. Everyone else I listed before, you’re dismissed and can return to practice in studio C. Miss Niima… we have work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rey's Outfit](https://i.postimg.cc/CMXMSBRQ/inspo.jpg)  
> Hope you enjoyed! xx


	2. Day 1, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

The last thing Ben expected when he walked into the Lincoln Center on Monday was for Poe to tell him that Kaydel had quit. She had turned in a quick resignation letter with anxious eyes and had explained to Poe that she just couldn’t handle Ben’s sharp attitude anymore. She understood more than anybody that their dances had to be flawless, but she could no longer live up to his expectations.

To be fair, Ben knew that he pushed people too hard sometimes. It was all he’d ever done with himself, so he did it to others when he saw fit. Poe often chastised Ben for his harsh methods, never failing to remind him just how lucky he was to have a partner who could handle his ways--but it seemed even Kaydel had a breaking point, and Ben had clearly found it.

Did he think it was impossible to find a new partner who understood him and could be pushed the way he wanted to push? Absolutely. But there seemed to be no other choice and Ben didn’t really want to start his day off any worse than it was already turning out to be.

So, Ben sat in Poe’s office and stared at his best friend of years with an expression that marred between a drooped scowl and flaming rage. The production of _Manon_ was expected to be perfectly performed in a matter of weeks and Kaydel had retired from the Company just like that? 

Ben tightened his fist and clenched his jaw.

He’d been dancing with Kaydel as his partner for years, the prima ballerina knew exactly what to do and how to move flawlessly with him. She’d never said anything about his attitude or pacing before, but Ben figured that must be part of the reason why she never said it to his face in the first place.

Just like that, Ben was back on his ass without a partner and Poe was telling him that he’d made a list of ten women he thought could fill the role. He wanted Ben to watch them audition and pick someone he thought would be the best prima ballerina to follow after Kaydel herself. 

“I don’t even get a say in this? You just want me to go watch ten women I’ve never met before and pick one out to lead the entire production with?” Ben asked through tight lips. Poe crossed his arms and nodded, raising an eyebrow at Ben--a half-challenge, a silent dare for Ben to say something about it.

The primo ballerino just growled and ran a hand through his hair. “To be fair, you do know these women, you just never talk to them. Who do you think dances behind and around you on stage?” Poe challenged with a knowing gleam in his eyes. 

_He had a point there, but Ben was too stubborn to acknowledge it._

“Look, rehearsal starts today for this production. We need a prima ballerina and you need a partner. Just go to the audition, pick who you think would be best, and we'll work to get her where you need her to be.” Poe huffed. Ben pursed his lips but stood up from the office chair anyway.

“Studio A, I’m guessing?” Ben asked grumpily. Poe just nodded and handed Ben a clipboard with all of the women’s names on it.

With a sigh, Ben left the office and trudged in the direction of the studio, his knuckles white from how tight he gripped the clipboard. It was just his luck that he was getting a new partner, especially now that Snoke was pushing him harder than ever before. 

It wasn’t that Ben didn’t want to be the best-- of course he did. It was more that nothing ever seemed to be good enough anymore and Ben was getting frustrated with himself. Day after day, his personal trainer informed him that his moves were sloppy and that, if he didn't get better, he would be overtaken by another ballerino. 

Snoke was a harsh trainer… but the best one out there.

So Ben gritted his teeth during practice and pushed himself harder, even if his feet bled and his muscles ached. Ballet was all he’d ever known, and he knew for damn sure he wasn’t going to lose his skill and be replaced. Sometimes he found it hard to get up and make the commute to the Lincoln Center, but he still ended up on it’s stoney steps every morning at the crack of dawn.

Clutching the clipboard, Ben barged into studio A through the back entrance with a vengeance and tossed the clipboard onto the table that was waiting for him. The chair that he slouched into was stiff and provided very little support and Ben knew already that he didn’t want to make these auditions any longer than they needed to be.

He ran a hand through his hair, out of stress alone, and glanced over the list of names spread out before him. Only a few of them stood out in faint recognition. He’d definitely heard of Zorii Bliss and Rose Tico, and he knew for damn sure who Rey Niima was. 

Poe had been complaining about her for weeks now.

Not in the sense that she was annoying or got in the way, but quite the opposite. He droned on and on about how she never danced like she used to anymore and that her expressions were just about as lifeless as her eyes whenever she met his gaze. 

_And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t get him started on how she couldn’t seem to care less about it._

Ben had met plenty of ballerinas and ballerinos that had burnt out. Long hours, aching feet, banged up toes, and constant movement was stressful to a good majority of people. So that’s all Ben figured it was. Rey was just another ballerina who was getting burnt out.

She’d probably quit after the season was over, but that didn’t mean he couldn't see what Poe talked about so much. “Right. You’re all here because the previous prima ballerina, Kaydel Connix, has quit. We need to fill the new spot and our artistic director selected the ten of you to audition for me. 

“My name is Ben Solo, I’m the primo ballerino here for the New York City Ballet Company. When I call your name, just come do some shit you think will impress me, I don’t know,” he grumbled out, turning his attention to the line of girls that were up against the wall.

With long legs, wispy brown hair, and hazel eyes that looked like they had seen much better days, Ben knew as soon as he saw her that she was Rey. He frowned when he realized the last bit of what he’d observed, but he quickly turned his attention back to the first girl that was auditioning for him.

If he was being completely honest, Ben wasn’t really paying attention to her or anyone else. All that was going through his mind was the haunting image of Rey’s green eyes staring back at him with layers upon layers of pain and sadness below their forest hue.

Rey was beautiful. There was no doubt about that. 

She definitely had the body of someone who had been doing ballet for years and her tan skin appeared to be more of a natural pigment as opposed to the pale complexion he had, himself. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips were pink and the way she fiddled with her fingers had Ben intrigued.

He watched Zorii perform for a while as well as Rose, the two that he’d heard enough about to know they were good, but they didn’t have what Ben was looking for. Sure, they were perfect in just about everything they did, but Ben couldn’t see himself as a character beside them when it came to performing to an audience. 

He flicked his eyes down to the list and cocked his head to the side with interest, only one ballerina remaining against the wall and one name left on the sheet of paper. “Rey Niima,” he stated clearly, lifting his gaze up to lock onto hers. Rey stared back at him, but it didn’t seem like she actually registered that it was her name being called.

Ben raised an eyebrow at her and called again with a slight tone of amusement, “Rey Niima?” She finally jumped a little, this call filling her ears, and she rushed to the center of the room only to open her mouth and say, “Thank you for allowing me to audition for you today. I really appreciate the…”

Rey trailed off before she could get any further and Ben just stared at her in disbelief. _Alright, maybe she wasn’t burnt out, so to speak._ She was making an effort, trying to impress in some sense.

Despite that… he could tell that there was still something going on inside of her. She wasted no time entering whatever routine she had planned and Ben couldn’t take his eyes off of her. 

Poe wasn’t lying about what he had gone on and on about concerning the ballerina. Her face went completely blank when she danced, like her mind was transported somewhere else and the last thing she wanted to do was think about where her body was. She was stiff, like she anticipated someone to come in any second and ruin what she was doing.

Her feet were perfectly sickled, her legs were straight as tacks, her fingers and arms flowed in the flawless way every ballerina wanted, and she never once made a mistake with her movements. She just… wasn’t there. It was as if Rey Niima sheltered herself in the back of her mind and let her body take over while she hid. 

And Ben _had_ to figure it out.

He watched as she scurried off to the side of the room where the other ballerinas were once she finished, then turned his attention to the clipboard where he pretended to weigh his options. Ben knew he was going to choose Rey. There was no other option here that could be molded as much as she could to what he wanted, so it was no surprise he only wasted five minutes in fake thought.

Ben rose from his chair, clipboard in hand, and looked down at the few notes he had managed to take before reading aloud without meeting their eyes, “Jessika, Tallie, Page, Bazine, and Nymeria… you’re all to lazy with your grande jetés and chinés.” _No, they weren’t, but he had to come up with something before moving on._

“Rose, Zorii, Dasha, and Karé… you’re all good but need to work more on facial expressions, either toning them down or bringing them more to light.” _Who was he kidding? They had perfect expressions, but none as haunting and intriguing as Rey’s._

“And that leaves Miss Niima… you’re stiff, dispassionate, emotionless, and frankly need a lot of work, so I think we should get started as soon as possible to fix those things and shape you into what I’m needing in a partner. Everyone else I listed before, you’re dismissed and can return to practice in studio C. Miss Niima… we have work to do.”

The whole room went dead silent as everyone stared at him. Ben lifted his gaze finally from the clipboard and peered back at each of them, all of them looking like they’d just seen a ghost. Their faces were pale and eyes wide-- even a few of them had eyebrows scrunched down in what appeared to be anger.

“Forgive me, sir, but… you want us all to return to studio C?” Zorii asked with a tone that blended together confusion and disbelief. He raised an eyebrow at the question, understanding that what she really was asking was why he’d chosen Rey. 

“If your name isn’t Rey Niima, then yes,” he replied steadily. All of the girls shared disoriented glances, but one ballerina with blonde hair finally looked away and started to head towards the room. The others soon followed after her with hushed murmurs, their ballet slippers soft taps on the hardwood floor until none remained.

All that was left was a ballerina that seemed to be completely frozen. Her lips were parted like she wanted to say something, but it was the curve of her eyebrows that ultimately suggested her own bewilderment of his choice. Ben ignored it for now, turning back to the table where he began to fold it and the chair up.

“I… excuse me, primo… but I… I think there must be some sort of mistake,” her shy voice suddenly spoke from behind him. Ben looked over his shoulder at her with a face that he hoped gave nothing away as he regarded her.

Rey twiddled with her fingers in front of her leotard covered stomach and he vaguely spotted a small hole on its left side just below her ribs that had previously been covered by her wrap. 

He didn’t look at it for too long.

“What makes you think that?” he questioned, returning to packing everything up. Ben knew he’d have to tell Poe soon that he’d chosen his prima and was ready for rehearsal, but he didn’t mind having a few minutes of alone time with the timid ballerina in the airy practice room. 

“I’ve only ever been a supporting dancer. Zorii is… flawless and Rose is elegant and Tallie has the most beautiful expressions. I… I just… _dance_ ,” Rey admitted softly. Ben rested the folded table and chair up against the side of the wall before turning to gaze at her questionably.

He crossed his arms over his chest and looked her up and down as she stood there, bashful under his gaze. Slowly, he began to nod and walked forward while he moved his attention to the light colored pine floors instead. “Your expression the whole time was blank, yes… and sure, you’re stiff with just about every move, but you’ve got something none of them have,” he informed her steadily.

Rey recoiled even more in confusion as she stared at him. Ben stopped right in front of her, only a foot or two away, and realized for a short moment that she was a whole head shorter than him. “W-what?” she questioned breathlessly, breaking his train of thought about their height difference. 

“ _Potential,_ ” he answered simply. If Rey appeared puzzled before, she was completely baffled now at his choice of descriptor. Ben half expected her to say something about his short explanation, but he turned to leave the room before she could ask anything else.

Part of him wondered why he hadn’t just chosen Zorii, the obvious pick if he wanted to go on performance alone, but the mystery that was Rey was too tempting for him not to choose her. As soon as he walked into Poe’s office, his best friend was on his feet with excited eyes.

“Did you choose already? Let me guess… you went with Bliss, didn’t you? She’s one of our finest, I’m telling you. A real star and-”

“I chose Rey Niima.” 

Yet again, the room went silent at the name and Ben scowled this time at the reaction. Why was it such a shocker he chose a ballerina that was a part of the company? She was chosen to perform on stage with them and she wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t good, so why was it such a peculiarity that he’d picked her? Why had her name been on the fucking list if even Poe reacted like this?

“What the _fuck_ made you choose Rey Niima?” Poe asked with the same stunned expression all the others had worn. Ben just growled out _fuck off_ , then stormed out of the room and didn’t care that he’d slammed the door on his way out. 

The same time he barged back into the practice room was the same time Rey was planning to leave, so the door wasted no time sending her flying back onto her ass with a thud.

She yelped at the force of the door and landed haphazardly, but quickly got to her feet before Ben could try to help her up. “ _Shit,_ I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“There’s been a serious mistake, primo Solo. I-I can’t be your prima. I think I’m just going to go, if you don’t mind,” Rey rushed out, her gaze trained back onto the floor between them.

Ben paused for a moment and surveyed the startled ballerina. She was flexing one of her feet after the fall, a subtle display that she hurt it a little, but he was more focused on her slippers. _Jesus Christ, she danced in those?_ They were faded, worn, dirty, and… holy fuck, she didn’t have any padding in them.

“I do mind. I chose you for a reason and I’d like for you to respect that, Miss Niima. Now if you’d be so inclined, we have a rehearsal to begin and I’d rather not waste our time. Poe will be in shortly, so we might as well warm up,” Ben bit back sharply, choking back his thoughts about her shoes. 

He was already over it. Her reluctance-- he meant. 

He didn’t care what the ballerinas thought, what Poe thought, or even what Rey thought. He was going to make her fucking flawless and put on a perfect show whether everyone liked it or not. So with an angry hand through his hair, Ben walked over to the direction of the black duffle bag continuing his equipment in the corner of the room and pulled out his clothes and shoes.

_He wasn’t going to let ratty slippers and hesitant thoughts distract him._

“I’m going to change. When I get back, I hope you’re doing something to get ready for the day,” Ben huffed. Once more, he left her alone in the room after willing himself not to pay attention to her hurt face and foot, then headed in the direction of the men’s locker room.

Pulling off the sweater and jeans he’d been wearing, Ben mindlessly tugged on the skin tight black tights and Romeo style canvas slippers meant for male ballerinas. He contemplated putting on one of the free flowing tank tops with the thought that Rey might not appreciate the fact he practiced shirtless, but he decided against it and chose to dance how he usually did.

So what if he didn’t wear a shirt when he practiced? It wasn’t like lots of skin and suffocating outfits were uncommon-- _don’t get him started on dance belts_ \-- so she’d just have to get used to the fact he rehearsed a certain way just like he assumed he’d have to get used to her ticks. 

_Like the fact her shoes had no padding._

He grumbled to himself to shut up about the fucking slippers as he walked back from the locker room and re-entered the studio where Poe and Rey were awkwardly standing in the room. 

As soon as Rey turned to catch sight of him, she blushed and ducked her head to look away. Ben did his best not to pay attention to it and glared at Poe instead when he met the man’s eyes.

“Can we get started now or does anybody have anything else to say? We’ve got six weeks to make this perfect and I’d rather not have this lead to the end of my career,” Ben hissed. Poe just rolled his eyes and turned to pick up the binder that was lying on the floor while Ben walked over to stand beside Rey who had yet to look at him again. 

“Right, we all know the story… ‘In a world where extravagant riches and abject poverty exist side by side, Manon is caught in between. She falls in love with a penniless student, but is lured into becoming the mistress of a rich gentleman,’” Poe read out from his binder. “Let’s get started with Act 1, yeah?” 

Ben nodded and turned his attention to his friend who began to read out the movements to them, showing them off himself in the mirror before he turned his attention to the two of them.

Rey was hesitant at first, but finally gave in and allowed herself to dance along with Ben. The music that Poe played from the speakers was a sorrowful tune composed of violins and woodwinds that suggested the performance was to be filled with happiness, despair, love, loss, triumph, and regret. 

They practiced Rey stepping out of the coach that was to be carried on stage, her twirling about the practice room while they all imagined the performer that was to act as her brother, Lescaut, dancing alongside another man, Monsieur GM. 

It would be revealed that GM would ask her brother for her hand in marriage later on, but that was where Ben came in.

Performing as her love interest, the young student named De Grieux, Ben came quietly onto the stage and watched her dance tiny steps on pointe from the outskirts while she was pursued by multiple men that were to be added later. It wasn’t until she was to be away from her brother and GM did Ben truly come in to grasp her attention. 

They were alone for the next part, bumping into each other and catching one another’s attention before dancing around each other with curious but nervous eyes-- well, at least Ben was looking at her with that. It was he who then performed to her to capture her heart while she watched, all graceful leaps and straight legged turns and sharp pirouettes. 

And just when he saw the smallest glint of interest in her eye when she watched him dance to her, the _tiniest_ flash that Rey could show emotions on the otherwise lifeless face of hers… Poe told them to stop while he shook his head with a frown. 

_The glimmer of intrigue was gone before Ben could even convince himself it’d been there in the first place._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed :) Let me know what you think! xx


	3. Day 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

It had been three days since they started working together and Rey was still trying to figure out exactly why she’d been chosen instead of Zorii or Rose. Today, however, was one of those days where Rey couldn’t be bothered to care. It had taken all of her energy to get out of bed and put on her pointe shoes this morning and everything else had been a blur.

Her feet carried her down the streets of New York and her hand opened the heavy doors to the Lincoln Center, but her mind was somewhere else entirely. Today was a day to be a robot. She did whatever Poe instructed her to do, she stared at Ben blankly when he got angry with her, and she watched her reflection in the mirror that barely looked like herself.

Rey knew that Ben was getting more and more frustrated with her based on the fact that he stopped frequently to yell at her about something that didn’t quite reach her ears. She just stared back at him and nodded along to what he said even though she had no idea what it was.

If she was being honest, Rey had done some research on Ben the night before when she was safely back in bed. She’d found some videos of him performing when he was much younger, just starting out at the New York City Ballet, and she was stunned to see that he actually danced with a smile.

The way he jumped and lifted and turned and leapt was so much different from how he did all of those same moves today. Rey figured she was the same, though. Ben looked happy, in love with what he did, and all of his movements were stunning. She could tell that something had changed since then.

Watching his videos lead her down a rabbit hole, however, and she somehow ended up on a video of herself when she’d won first place at a national ballet competition in high school. Her facial expressions were still vibrant and full of life, but Rey knew that they would fade quickly over the next year. 

Sadness had filled her entire body at the thought of a time when she was younger and still enjoyed dancing, not looking to it as something to escape her reality. Pain, loneliness, and fear had overwhelmed her thoughts within seconds, and it took only moments for her mind to go where it very rarely did these days.

_Memories of Plutt ultimately had her shutting her computer before she could finish the video._

She’d curled up after that and hid under her covers before falling into a restless sleep.

Rey blamed how she was feeling today for her dive into the internet, her mind constantly thinking back to both of their videos and how much happier they had seemed to be. Rey knew what happened to her, but she had no idea what happened to Ben. 

Poe stopped the dance again with a defeated sigh and announced he was going to take a break for a bit, leaving them to sort out ‘whatever the hell is going’ on as he put it. As soon as the door closed, Ben was standing in front of her with eyes that mixed both exasperation and concern. “Alright, what the fuck is up today? You aren’t usually like this and that’s saying something,” he told her seriously.

“I… it’s just… been an off day,” she explained softly. He gave her a pointed look, not saying anything as he waited for her to go on. Rey’s shoulders sagged and she looked away from his gaze, not offering anything else to him even though he was clearly expecting something.

Ben ran a hand through his hair like he always did when he didn’t know what to do next and came up behind her, his hands suddenly taking both sides of her delicate waist. “Alright, look. Poe’s gone for a while, so why don’t we just practice the pas de deux for act one?” he questioned tiredly.

Rey nodded, her focus more on the way his hands seemed to burn her skin through the grey fabric of her long sleeved leotard. In the mirror, she could see that his hands nearly encircled her entire waist and spanned from just below her ribcage to the top of her hip bones.

There was no denying that Ben was a giant man.

His shoulders were broad, his muscles were huge, his legs were long, and his hands were clearly vast compared to the plane of her waist. Not to mention he was one of the most handsome men Rey had ever seen. 

So she ducked her head with a blush and let him slowly guide the dance Poe was trying to get her to perfect. Ben stepped away from her, moving instead to take her hand and spin her twice before catching her around her slim waist once more after she gave the appearance of falling to the side. 

“Face, Rey…” he whispered in her ear as he rightened them back to a straight position, wrapping his arms around her middle to completely engulf here and aid her with leaps meant to give the impression she was jumping into the air three times. 

“Happy… free… longing… relief,” Ben continued while he moved with her. Rey’s heart pounded heavily in her chest and she tried her best to give him what he was asking of her. She furrowed her eyebrows and parted her lips to portray the delicate emotion tied with finally finding the one, the faintest of smiles tugging on her lips.

Ben spun her back into his chest for another faux fall where he caught her, one of his hands coming up to straighten her back leg that lifted behind her. Rey squeaked a little when his hand grasped the inner spot of her thigh, but he just chuckled at the sound and continued on. “Keep that leg up and I won’t have to correct you,” he murmured.

Rey watched them in the mirror as they danced. For once in what felt like years, Rey felt genuinely involved in ballet. He caught her at every turn, his dark eyes never once leaving the side of her face-- observing her with a certain emotion Rey attributed to him portraying his character.

_There was no way he was actually looking at her like he’d just found a breath of fresh air… right?_ No. That was how both of their characters were supposed to appear.

His hands were always on her in some way, shape, or form, and even Rey found that she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. The room spun around them and everything seemed to disappear. All that was left was the empty practice room and the sound of feet padding across the light pine wood. 

Her breaths were heavy and his eyes were dark, and each time she found herself moving away from him with staccato tip toes, Ben suddenly appeared by her side ready to touch her skin once again. “There you go… just like that,” he breathed into her ear when he picked her up from behind by the waist and lifted her into the ear.

Rey’s face went red when she did the splits just in front of his face, a leotard probably not the best choice of what to wear for such a movement, but it was forgotten when she landed within the next second. Ben’s hands were warm on her skin, her hazel eyes stuck to his own dark chocolate ones as each lift, turn, and straightened leg felt as easy as breathing

It wasn’t until the final lift where he held her up on her side by inner thigh and waist only to walk around the stage did Rey truly feel like she was feeling ballet for the first time in forever. Her eyes closed and she genuinely smiled as she curved her back into his hands and let him show her off to the empty room.

Their shared dance ended when he eased her back down to a lying position on the floor, sliding down beside her so she could sit up and wrap her arms around his chest from behind. They stayed that way for a long time, both of them breathing heavily and staring at each other in the mirror.

“Where’s this Rey when I need her?” Ben asked with a whisper.

His eyes were softer than they’d ever been, and Rey watched with a startled gaze as he slowly began to turn his head over his shoulder, his lips just inches away--

The door swung open and Ben quickly turned his head away, all gentleness gone within seconds. He eased himself out of Rey’s arms and she reluctantly stood from where they’d been sitting, her eyes avoiding his when Poe finally came to the front of the room and gave them an odd look.

“I take it you took some time to practice, then?” 

*****

Rey sat down against the wall and slowly began to unwrap the ribbons around her ankles. She bit her bottom lip and reached forward to ease off the right slipper, wincing at the sight that greeted her on the other end. Her toes were bloody and bruised and swollen. She knew she really needed to get wool to stuff into the end, but it was just so expensive these days and she… she had a debt to pay.

With a sigh, she turned to her bag beside her and pulled out the scrappy bandaging that roamed at the bottom before starting to fix up her right foot. Of course, the door to the practice room opened as soon as she started and Ben was on the other side, as expected.

He faltered a little when he saw her, figuring she’d already gone home with the rest of the company, but Rey had opted to do some solo practice for once after the day was over. She ducked her head and quickly returned to wrapping up her feet while Ben looked her over.

“I thought you’d be out of here by now,” he said, walking over with quiet steps only to sit on the other end of her legs with hard eyes. He stared at her ruined feet. 

“I wanted to practice a little by myself. Why are you here so late?” she asked, anxious to pull off the other shoe. It was clear Ben was waiting for her to do just that so he could observe the damage inflicted upon her toes, so Rey gave in with a slight sigh.

She grimaced at the matching sight of her other foot, but Ben said nothing about it. Instead, he took the bandaging from her and propped her foot up on his thigh before working on it like he’d taken care of a million similar injuries. “I have private lessons with a trainer in this room. We start in ten minutes,” he answered simply.

Rey frowned, not knowing that he took private lessons. “I was actually going to suggest my trainer to you, but then Poe wanted to talk to me in his office after rehearsal and I didn’t get the chance,” Ben admitted. Once again, Rey felt confused with just what he wanted from her.

“Why did you choose me?” she asked abruptly. Ben finished up with her foot and reclined where he was sitting across from her, his eyes taking in her face with an expression that gave nothing away. 

“Zorii is a flawless dancer and Rose is elegant in her movements, yes… but like I said before, you had the most potential. I saw a ballerina who had the potential to become perfect, so I chose you. I think you should try one private lesson with my trainer, see if that could help even more than I can,” he told her sincerely. 

She nibbled on her bottom lip, but accepted the invitation with a small nod and looked down to the foot that was much better wrapped than what she had managed. “You should probably head out soon. Snoke gets upset if there’s anyone else in the room during our rehearsals,” Ben stated, standing up and detaching himself once more from whatever emotions he was previously feeling.

“Oh,” Rey murmured. She quickly rose to her feet and slipped on her ratty sneakers, her feet aching with protest, but she bit back the pain and picked up her bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she hurriedly got out before abandoning the practice room.

She nearly bumped into someone about to enter the room, but Rey kept her head down and murmured a rushed _sorry_ without looking to see who it was. The air was chilly when Rey stepped outside of the center and the sun had long set behind the skyscrapers. Rey shivered and wrapped her jacket closer to her body, thankful she’d brought her sweatpants and coat with her today.

She’d barely made it down the steps of the Center when her phone began to ring in her pocket buzz with the need to be answered. “What now?” Rey whispered in distress as she grabbed the electronic and accepted the call without looking at the name.

“Hello?” she asked breathlessly, the cold seeming to knock the air out of her lungs.

“Hi, is this Rey Niima?” a chipper voice asked on the other end of the line. Rey furrowed her eyebrows, but answered that yes, it was her.

“Hi! We’re pleased to tell you that the order you placed with us has been filled and is ready for pickup whenever you can swing by!” the voice informed her as if Rey knew what the hell was going on.

“I-I’m sorry… what order?” Rey asked with about as much confusion as she could muster. The voice on the other end hesitated for a moment and Rey could hear the woman flipping through papers, probably making sure she was calling the right number even after getting name confirmation. 

“For the custom pointe shoes and faux lamb wool? One pair of the shoes is in black and the other pair is in nude, as requested. The ribbons and elastic are included with your purchase, of course,” the woman explained. Rey’s heart sank faster than a rock being dropped into the ocean. 

“When… w-when was this order placed?” Rey questioned with a bit more of a panicked voice. She hadn’t placed an order for any of this. Fuck, she didn’t have the money for _any_ of this. 

“It was placed this afternoon at 3:07?” the woman was slowly seeming to understand that this order placed wasn’t actually correct. “If it helps, the order was already paid for by a B. Solo? Does that sound familiar to you at all?”

Rey nearly dropped the phone in her hand. 

She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and froze. Rehearsal ended each day at 3, meaning Ben had placed the order as soon as they parted ways. _Were her pointe shoes really that noticeably poor?_ To be fair… he had seen what they did to her toes only ten minutes ago. And he knew to order wool for her as well… 

“I- uh, yes, sorry. That’s my ballet partner. I apologize, I… I had no idea he ordered this for me. I’ll come pick it up right away. Where exactly is the shop located?” she asked, praying that it was nearby so she wouldn’t have to go out of her way.

“Gaynor Minden, located on West 16th Street!” 

Once again, Rey nearly had a heart attack. 

_Their custom pointe shoes were over $100 each._

“Can I… can I ask, um, how much the order was?” Rey nervously inquired as she slowly started to head in the direction of where the nearly 5 star dance store was located. 

The woman typed into the computer on the other end and cheerily replied, “Three hundred and twenty-seven dollars, seventy-two cents!” Rey hung up instantly. The walk to Gaynor Minden wasn’t a long one, but it felt like each step she took was heavier than the last. 

When she finally reached the suite, a brown colored shop with red brick apartments overtop of it, Rey stared at the small set of stairs leading up to its doors with black iron fencing caging in the walkway. She nervously gripped the cool metal and ascended the steps, entering into the Victorian styled shop with wide eyes.

A woman behind the counter, most likely the woman she’d talked to, smiled at her and welcomed her in. “Hi, we spoke on the phone? About the custom pointe shoes and everything?” Rey questioned as she approached the counter. The woman perked up instantly and went on a small tangent about how the man who had ordered them was very particular with what he wanted.

Rey didn’t even want to know how Ben knew her sizing for her shoes, but he figured he had some way to figure it out. “Alright, here we are. Why don’t we go try on a pair and see how they feel?” the woman asked, handing her two boxes that presumably had the pointe shoes inside.

Rey picked the box on top and walked over to where the three sided full length mirror was beside a barre to hold on to. She toed of her sneakers and opened up the first box, two inky black colored slippers waiting for her. Rey swallowed hard, but carefully picked them up and tugged them on to her throbbing feet.

They were as dark as the night and contrasted beautifully against her skin when she observed them-- like two flawless soldiers standing side by side within their tissue papered box before forming a line on her ankles. She’d never seen anything so stunning before.

And of course, they fit absolutely perfectly.

She nervously rose to her tippy toes and flexed the shoes, holding onto the barre beside her as she observed the way they looked on her feet. Rey had never seen anything so beautiful below her ankle before.

“How do they feel?” the woman asked, watching proudly from behind Rey as she walked around in them for a few seconds.

“They feel… perfect.”

Rey walked out of the store only five minutes later with a big pink bag in her hand and a smile on her face. If there was one thing Rey didn’t expect, it was new shoes and wool in her hands by the end of the day. Hell, she’d been dancing on the same pair of shoes for roughly a year and a half now… and she guessed it showed.

Before she could think about it too much and wonder how her feet even made it that far, her phone was vibrating in the pocket of her sweatpants once more. “Please don’t be any store telling me an order is ready for pick up…” she whispered to herself.

The call was once again from a number she didn’t recognize, but Rey bit her lip and answered the call anyway. “Hello?” she asked hesitantly. The voice that responded on the other end was deep, rich, and much too familiar.

“Have you gotten them yet?” Ben probed. She chuckled softly at how intense his questioning skills were, but nodded and replied that she had indeed picked up the surprise of shoes. 

“You didn’t have to get these for me, Ben… they’re so expensive,” she murmured into the phone once the excited interrogation was out of the way. He sounded out of breath on the other side of the phone and Rey figured he was finished with his private lesson, it was nearly six after all. 

“I hate to break it to you, prima, but you needed some new shoes. Wrapping up your feet today only confirmed that. Speaking of, Snoke agreed to let you take my lesson tomorrow if you’re still interested.” There was shuffling in the background of the call and Rey figured he was starting to pack up his things to leave.

She bit her lip and looked down to the giant pink bag sheltering roughly three hundred dollars in dance apparel. Doing one private lesson with his coach was the least she could do to thank him. So she nodded and smiled gently before confirming, “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! :)  
> [Gaynor Minden](https://www.google.com/maps/uv?pb=!1s0x89c259bda7e99bcb%3A0x64470fd8538ef904!3m1!7e115!4shttps%3A%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipPrPnRnlSP89y_NfKUy46gN4y3f_XiJnsEJrC-N%3Dw213-h160-k-no!5sgaynor%20minden%20-%20Google%20Search!15sCgIgAQ&imagekey=!1e10!2sAF1QipPrPnRnlSP89y_NfKUy46gN4y3f_XiJnsEJrC-N&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiijpm3y8HsAhUP1qwKHUn4AnsQoiowEnoECCUQAw)  
> 


	4. Day 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter to get to the good stuff next chapter! Enjoy :)

“Come on, Rey! _Emotions!_ Face!” Ben growled as they pushed through a lift that made her whole world turn upside down. She gritted her teeth together and scowled at him in the mirror, glaring at his obviously irritated expression while he observed them. The next lift he gave her, his hands were a little too tight on her waist and she hissed in pain.

When he brought her back down, she fumbled from the ache and Poe cut the music with a swear under his breath. “Would it kill you to be a _little_ gentler with me?” Rey scolded. Ben just ran an angry hand through his hair and looked at the ceiling with an exasperated _can you believe this shit?_ grin.

Rey just shook her head and took a few steps away from him as Poe glanced to the clock and sighed, “Right. Well… that’s the end of rehearsal then. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.” 

Ben just ran his hands through his hair and watched as Poe picked up the binder and quickly fled the room, grumbling something under his breath. “You know I’m not Kaydel, right?” Rey asked moments later, staring at Ben’s back as he sagged his shoulders and took in a deep breath to steady himself. 

He peered over his shoulder at her with a confused expression.

“I’m not… Look, Ben, I’ve been dancing in the shadows behind the two of you for years now and I know you two had a certain bond within ballet. I don’t care if you got along or not, I’m not even sure if _we_ really get along, but I know she was used to your lifts and turns and hands and strength. I’m… not. All I’m asking is that you be a little delicate with me and maybe I won’t have to fake emotion instead of gritting through the pain,” she explained. 

His face visibly softened and he turned fully to face her as she flexed her feet in the new shoes he’d gotten her. The day had started out so well. As soon as she’d walked into rehearsal, Poe not yet there, she’d walked right up to Ben and given him a hug with a soft _thank you._

Rey wasn’t able to identify what emotion covered his face after her subtle display of gratitude, but whatever it was didn’t last long and was soon replaced with that emotionless expression she was getting used to. When they’d started practice, she hadn’t noticed that his grip was tighter on her until short breaks where her sides ached.

Every movement after that made it known he was holding her with a grip she wasn’t used to. Hence her growing irritation at how rough he was handing her and his mounting frustration with her face that disguised pain.

“Yeah. I can be gentler. Sorry, it’s just been… a day,” he answered with a sigh. Rey frowned at the explanation that gave nothing away and gave up flexing her feet to walk over to him instead. 

“Care to elaborate on that?” she asked with worried eyes. Ben’s own face seemed to sink once he realized she genuinely wanted to know if there was a reason he’d handled her rougher today compared to all other days. Guilt and embarrassment were the first emotions she was able to catch when he met her eyes.

“I got a call from my mother this morning. That followed by your thank you gave me whiplash. So I apologize for hurting you, if I did,” Ben admitted in the quietest voice Rey had ever heard from him. 

She didn’t press on why a call from his mother was connected to a negative feeling.

She just pursed her lips and cautiously reached out once more to hug him, sensing that he needed something right now. Ben stiffened at her affection, unsure of what to really do next, but Rey smiled to herself when he hesitantly wrapped his arms back around her. “Thanks, Rey,” he murmured into her hair.

They broke apart after a few moments, Rey with a blush on he cheeks and Ben with a slower hand through his hair. “You have your private lesson with Snoke, right?” he asked once he moved towards the back wall and slumped against it, tugging at his ballet slippers to expose damaged toes like hers.

She padded over and sat next to him, working on her own feathery ribbons while she nodded slowly. “Yeah… hopefully it’ll help and I won’t step on your toes as much,” Rey admitted, nudging him a little with her shoulder. Ben tensed somewhat beside her when she mentioned stepping on his toes, but her nudge seemed to calm him back down.

“You aren’t stepping on my toes, Rey. You just need a little help with technique and execution.”

“And my face,” Rey teased lightly. Ben gave in, chuckling at that, and started to massage his feet while Rey bit her bottom lip and hesitantly pulled off her pointe shoes, nervous about what she was going to see on the other end. His eyes drifted to her feet as well and they both went silent for a moment as she tugged the first one off.

Much to her surprise, her toes weren't nearly as bloodied or bruised as they usually were. In fact, they only seemed a little swollen today thanks to the new shoes. “Looks like they worked out well,” Ben commented, rising up to his feet after he stashed his slippers into his bag.

“Thank you again, Ben. Seriously, I… this was very kind of you,” Rey thanked softly. He pursed his lips and gave a curt nod, obviously unused to her thankful attention, but offered one final wave as a goodbye before slipping out of the practice room. Rey sighed to herself and let her head drop against the back of the wall as soon as the wooden door closed.

Why was it that every time she had some slight emotional connection to Ben for the most minicle of moments, her heart pounded a little faster and her stomach fluttered giddily?

She quickly pushed away the small ember of hope that burned in her chest at the thought and shoved her pointe shoes into her bag roughly. Her hands rummaged inside the black abyss until her palm discovered the nude ballet flats she’d use for the private lesson-- much easier on her feet. 

It wasn’t necessarily supposed to start for another fifteen minutes-- Snoke had been kind enough to come early for her lesson so Ben could still attend his usual later time. So Rey buried her face in her arms and practiced a smile without anyone having to look at her.

It’d been so long since she genuinely felt happy, but… Rey found she wasn’t sad as she could be when she was around Ben. She didn’t really know what that meant, she’d only known him for a week now, but she didn’t mind the feeling of calmness he brought. 

It was nice to have a break from negative thoughts every now and then.

The door opened suddenly and Rey jerked her head up from her arms to meet an icy blue pair staring back at her, his skin damaged and somewhat lopsided when she observed him for a second too long. “You must be Miss Niima. What a pleasure it is to work with you today,” he greeted, his grin sinister and eyes narrowed.

_Rey shivered._

*****

Her feet ached, her right ankle was throbbing, and sweat caked her hair to her forehead and neck while she gasped for breath. “Do you really think you’ll be able to take a break in the middle of dancing?” Snoke asked snidely. Rey glared at the floor, unwilling to look up at the man who had ended up being just as cruel as he looked.

_Why the hell did Ben train with this man?_

“Dance is pain, Miss Niima. Push through it. Nobody wants a sad woman for a prima ballerina,” he commented. Biting her lower lip hard enough to draw blood, Rey took in a deep breath and rose back to her full height before executing the leap once more. However, this time when she came back down, her ankle officially gave out with a subtle snap and Rey yelped before falling to the floor.

Snoke just sighed in exasperation, like she was the overdramatic one, as white hot pain flared through her leg and sent a sob straight to her throat. “What a shame. I’ll have to let Solo know his choice for a partner was more disappointing than I imagined.” He left without another word, leaving Rey on the floor in agony.

She whimpered and slowly lifted herself up onto her palms, using the back of her arm to wipe away her tears as she sniffled loudly and looked down at her ankle that already seemed swollen. Ray hesitantly reached out to touch the inflamed skin but yanked her hand back almost immediately when throbbing greeted her fingers.

Her cry must have alerted someone outside because the door was suddenly swinging open and footsteps rushed to her side. Rey knew it was Ben before she even looked up to see his face. “What the _fuck_ happened?” he asked, half in anger and half in genuine concern.

Rey’d never seen him so worried before.

“Landed on my ankle wrong…” she whispered. Her hands found her face again to discard her tears and she watched as Ben carefully started to remove the slipper belonging to her injured ankle.

“Snoke pushed you into this, didn’t he?” he asked after a few moments of silence mixed with pained hisses if he accidentally jostled her ankle in a wrong way. Rey nibbled on her bottom lip and nodded when his chocolate eyes flicked up to meet hers.

He was closer than he’d ever been and Rey was able to pick up on every detail of his face. Ben’s skin was a beautiful pale complexion, littered with moles and beauty marks and facial hair that had her heart aching in a good way. His lips were rosy and fuller than any man’s she’d ever seen and his long nose fit him in a way only he could pull off. 

Rey didn’t know she was reaching out to cup the side of his face until he froze at the contact and met her gaze instantaneously. She blushed and quickly pulled it away at the same time he coughed and turned his attention back to her ankle.

“We need to get you to a doctor. I think it’s sprained,” Ben informed her with a clipped tone after looking at it from multiple different angles. Rey winced a little at the thought of having to pay a medical bill, but decided it was ultimately something that needed to be done.

So she nodded and allowed him to help her up onto her feet, one of his giant arms wrapping around her waist to support her while his massive palm curled underneath her ribs. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t warm.

_And so what if she leaned into him a bit more than she needed to?_

“What about your private lesson?” Rey asked as they left the practice room. 

“Fuck Snoke,” Ben growled back. She blinked at his intensity but smiled to herself when she looked away, part of her glad to know he also seemed to dislike the man. Rey wasn’t exactly sure where Ben was taking her until they reached the heavy metal doors leading to the parking garage.

“Oh, Ben, y-you don’t have to-”

“Give you a ride? Like hell you’re walking or driving yourself,” he cut her off. Rey pursed her lips at his stubborn reply but allowed him to guide her to his car anyway, a sleek thing covered in pitch black paint with four silver rings joined on the back of it. Something German, she knew that much. 

Ben helped her into the car, his warm hand gripping her tiny one while she eased into the passengers side with a small _thank you._ His heaters worked almost instantly when he slid into the driver’s side and brought the vehicle to life, button after button pressed right after to ensure they’d be comfortable during the ride.

“What did he have you do?” Ben asked after he pulled out of the parking space and exited the garage. The streets were busy, much to their shared dismay, but Rey didn’t necessarily feel uncomfortable spending some time talking in his car. 

“I told him I was having trouble with my emotions… especially on leaps because I’m focusing too much on altitude and all. So it was fine at first… but then I just turned into a broken record, it felt like. Again and again, over and over, leap after leap. My ankle was killing me and then… it just kinda snapped…” Rey offered softly.

His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel and Rey briefly wondered if it was because he was mad she couldn’t get the leap perfect. “ _Fucking dick_ ,” Ben spat instead.

Rey turned her head to him in surprise, a little startled at the acidity dripping from his words. “I-It was my fault, Ben, I couldn’t get it-”

He slammed on the breaks and threw on his hazards, cars abruptly swerving and blaring their horns at him with angry looks and suggestive gestures. “Ben!” Rey gasped, clutching her seatbelt and staring at the traffic that was slowly moving around them.

“Take that back. It’s not your fucking fault,” he demanded with blazing eyes. Rey swallowed hard, startled by the fact there was a subtle wetness blooming between her legs at his intensity, but nodded jerkily and choked out through a murmur, “It’s n-not my fault.” 

Ben offered a curt nod in appreciation before turning off the hazards and moving back with the flow of traffic. Still a little thrown at what had happened and why it was important to him that she say it wasn’t her fault, Rey found whatever bravery she could and asked cautiously, “Why do you still train with him if he hurts those he trains?”

His jaw clenched out of the corner of her eye, but Rey didn’t look away. He made a smooth turn to the right before finally letting out a sigh and giving her a small glance. 

“He made me what I am today. Without him… I wouldn’t be the primo for the New York City Ballet. He pushes me hard, yes, but I wouldn’t be good if he didn’t.”

Rey found herself shaking her head before he even finished his sentence. “No, that’s not true. I’ve seen videos of you performing before you joined the NYCB. You were amazing, Ben,” she told him with a sincere passion. He remained silent, turning the car once more with conflicted eyes.

They said nothing else as they pulled into the parking lot for the hospital, Rey’s head swarming with recollections of watching him on her laptop while Ben pointedly didn’t meet her eyes after parking. He simply got out of the car and rounded the vehicle to help her out and support her once more.

The wait wasn’t nearly as long as she expected, but Rey found more anxiety creeping into her veins with each passing moment. How many times had she come to the hospital as a result of dance? How many times had the nurses whispered and looked at her and muttered Plutt’s name in the same sentence?

Rey held herself as they waited in the plastic chairs, her brain slowly becoming overwhelmed with memories from the past that still haunted her while a new one blossomed. “Will you come with me when I go back?” Rey blurted without checking herself.

Ben raised an eyebrow from beside her, seemingly broken from the wordless environment he’d created for them. He frowned at the question after he processed what she was asking and Rey made note of the way his eyebrows always crinkled up when he was confused.

“You want me to go back with you for a sprained ankle?” he wondered out loud. Rey instantly ducked her head in embarrassment and fiddled with her fingers while she inwardly chastised herself. She opened her mouth to assure him that he didn’t have to and her question was dumb, but Ben just wrapped a warm hand around her wrist instead.

When she looked up to meet his gaze, his eyes were now soft and somewhat sympathetic though nothing else on his face would show what he was feeling. “Yeah. I’ll go back with you,” he assured. 

Rey thanked him with a small voice and jumped in her chair when a nurse abruptly rounded the corner, calling her name, and interrupted yet another sensitive moment between them. 

Ben helped her once more when she rose from her chair, but his touch around her waist returned to what it had been only yesterday when they were alone in the practice room-- cautious, gentle, and kind. Rey found herself leaning into it for a second time that day.

“Alright, let’s take a look at this ankle,” the doctor huffed as soon as Rey was eased onto the hospital bed, her legs dangling off the edge of it. Ben rested against the entry door, his arms crossed and eyes focused on Rey’s ankle like he didn’t trust what the doctor was going to say about it.

The doctor turned and prodded Rey’s ankle as if the swollen and quickly bruising evidence wasn’t right there before his eyes. Rey wondered if his inspection would ever stop, but it seemed Ben was also starting to get irritated with the medical man as he shifted his weight on his feet and glared at the back of the man’s silver head.

“Do you have to keep messing with it?” Ben finally growled out. The doctor sighed and pulled away, reaching for a nearby clipboard to make notes, but didn’t offer anything to Ben or Rey for a few agonizing seconds.

Just when Rey was about to say something, the doctor finally sat back and met her eyes. “You’ve got a very low grade sprain, should probably heal up within a week or two with proper rest and ice. I’d recommend a brace in your case as well. I know a dancer’s feet when I see them and a brace could help speed healing along so you can get back on the floor.” 

Ben visibly relaxed and remained silent as the doctor retrieved the discussed ankle brace, running her through proper healing as he eased Rey’s ankle into it. By the time the brace was secured onto her foot, Rey was biting back tears but nodding along anyway to everything the doctor said.

When the older man finally left the room, Ben approached her and _tsked_ at the injury. “Poe’s not going to be happy about it,” he murmured. Rey just let out a weak chuckle and nodded, kicking her feet while her eyes remained zeroed in on the black brace around her ankle.

_Could be worse._

“I’m sorry, Rey. Seriously, this is… this is my fault. I set you up with Snoke even though I know how hard he pushes for perfection. I didn’t mean for _this_ to happen…” Ben told her quietly. 

Rey just shook her head and carefully slid off of the hospital bed into his awaiting arms, allowing him to support her yet again as they left the examining room and headed for the main exit. “It’s alright, Ben. You had the best intentions. Let’s just not do that again, yeah?” she breathed back to him.

He nodded readily and kept his mouth shut until they made it back to his car, the question of where she lived causing Rey to abruptly blurt, _“No!”_ Ben jerked back at her declaration and stared at her with wide, confused eyes, but Rey just bit her lip and sunk into the passenger’s side.

“Sorry, I just… can you just take me to-”

“Why don’t you come over? You must be starving,” Ben offered instead.

She simply nodded before ducking her head and letting a blush overtake her face in privacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! Hehehe, fun chapter next xx


	5. Day 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe, some light angst for y'all in this chapter ;)

Rey knew that Ben was rich based off of his car.

It had a nearly flawless leather interior, the heating kicked on almost instantly, and it was the smoothest ride Rey had ever taken in her life. Ben’s apartment, on the other hand, was like something out of a movie. With large windows overlooking the city and a dark interior that blended together modern and rustic elements, Rey felt like a fish out of water.

Ben, however, walked into the apartment like it was no big deal and tossed his keys onto the table by the entryway nonchalantly. “Uh, the kitchen is over here. You said you were hungry, right? I can open a bottle of wine and make something for us?” he called from somewhere in the apartment, most likely the kitchen. 

With wide eyes and nervous steps, Rey slowly limped into the spacious living room and turned her attention to the open concept kitchen to her right. Ben was already uncorking a bottle of red wine as he moved to a nearby counter to withdraw two glasses for them. 

“Ben… this place is amazing,” Rey breathed out while she carefully piloted herself to the barstools at the kitchen counter and sat down. He just smiled at her, a rare thing, before pouring them both a rather full glass of wine. 

“Thanks. It’s got a studio for practicing too,” he pointed out. If Rey was impressed before, she was definitely head over heels for the apartment itself now. How could a place so beautiful and open and huge have a practice studio within it as well? She assumed he probably paid to have the addition made, but it still made her swallow hard at how expensive that must have been.

_How much did primo ballerinos make anyway?_

She shook her head and lifted up the glass of wine to her lips before taking a small sip. Of course it was the good, expensive stuff and not the cheap wine she drank. Rey had to hold back a slight moan when she drank it, its flavor unlike anything she’d had before. “Good?” Ben asked with a knowing grin before turning back to the fridge to pull out ingredients.

“Yeah… I can’t thank you enough, Ben. Really. For driving me to the hospital and staying with me and then making me dinner… you really didn’t have to do this,” she murmured as she watched him shove a large pot under the sink to fill it with water. He just waved a hand at her and shook his head.

“I wasn’t going to let you walk home or leave that ankle untreated. We do need someone to star in the show, you know,” he chided. Rey laughed a little at that and swirled her wine around while Ben diced tomatoes and garlic. _Spaghetti then,_ she assumed. “I think I might end my lessons with Snoke, though,” he offered after a while.

This caught Rey’s attention and she zeroed her focus onto the side of his face. “Oh?” she whispered, letting him continue on without pressure from her.

“You asked me why I was still training with him if he just hurt myself and others and after what happened today… I think I’m starting to see that he isn’t so much pushing for dancers to perfect their moves, he’s pushing for dancers to reach their breaking point,” Ben stated. 

The room went quiet as Rey cocked her head to the side, allowing him to fill the silence before she did. Ben continued to give all of his attention to the food he was working on, but by the way he clenched his jaw and his knuckles turned white around the knife, Rey knew there was still more to be said.

“I trained with my uncle when I was young. He’s the one that taught me everything, not Snoke. My uncle helped me get into ballet academies and his training is ultimately what got me into the NYCB. My father wasn’t too… _happy…_ about me going into ballet, but my mother loved it.

“She was a very popular ballerina during her time and my uncle did it as well, though he much preferred the training side of things as opposed to being on the stage like my mother. When I took after her, my mother handed me over to my uncle immediately while my father grumbled about it.

“He was a mechanic, always working on an old car of his or tinkering with things. He thought I should follow in his footsteps like a _man_ should. Cars were fine, but ballet was the world to me. My parents’ conflict over my passion affected a lot of things… eventually my relationship with my uncle.

“When I found Snoke, it was easier to focus more on perfecting movements and pushing myself than it was to think about the problems my family had. I left my uncle, took on Snoke, and here I am…” he murmured. Rey stared at him, not expecting to hear nearly his entire life story, but admiring him for telling it all the same.

Ben reached for his own glass of wine, downing it in one swig like the information he’d just spilled required he wash it away, but Rey figured actions were better than words right now. So she got up from her chair and waddled over to him before hugging him from behind.

Ben tensed when she wrapped her arms around his torso, but he eventually gave in to the hug and continued to wordlessly fiddle with the ingredients meant for their pasta. “I think it’s a good thing you want to leave Snoke. I think it sounds like it’s been a long time coming,” Rey spoke softly against his back.

He nodded at her words but said nothing else, letting her take the time to hug him for a while longer before pulling away and returning to drink her own wine. They slipped into a comfortable silence, Rey watching him boil noodles and Ben pouring more wine every time they got a little too close to being finished. 

By the time dinner was ready and a steaming pile of pasta was on her plate, the information he shared had morphed into a quiet appreciation from Rey and a relaxed aura from the man who’d shared it. “So,” Rey started as they dug in beside each other, “am I going to see that studio when we’re done?”

Ben just grinned at her and nodded.

*****

As expected, one side of the room was covered entirely in mirrors while its opposed side had barres. The floors were black, not that Rey expected anything else, and it was a decent size for one person to practice in. As soon as her feet touched the floor, she gave a small spin with a smile.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to be dancing, Rey,” Ben warned with a concerned tone. She just shrugged at him, assuming her confidence and lack of pain came from the three glasses of wine she’d downed at dinner. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t push myself _too_ hard,” she shot back through a laugh. His shoulders sagged a little, but he watched her do a few more slow twirls until she was in the center of the room. Ben cocked an eyebrow at her when she extended a hand to him, wanting him to join her on the floor, but he gave in with a sigh and walked over.

“I’m not doing anything that’s going to fuck up your foot even more,” he scolded her. 

“I didn’t say I _wanted_ you to,” Rey shot back.

Ben just huffed and let her take the lead, holding onto her hand as she spun out from his body before coming back in. He chuckled when she wrapped her arms around his and swayed with him to the quiet room. She tried to hum a melody which only made both of them laugh a little harder. 

They continued to dance slowly for a while longer until they somehow ended up with her cheek pressed against his chest and his palm on her waist while their other hands were clasped together. Rey closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to savor this easy dance they were doing while her ankle dully pulsed.

She really hoped he was going to leave Snoke. Part of her really wanted to ask what his relationship was like with his family now, but she decided not to spoil whatever moment they were having. This time, they wouldn't be interrupted either. “Do you think we’ll have the dance perfect before the show goes on?” she asked against his chest.

Ben hummed at her question, the sound reverberating through her body while they swayed. “I think we will. You’re better than I give you credit for, you know,” he admitted. 

Rey tilted her head back so her chin now rested against him, but he was already looking down at her with deep chocolate eyes. Their faces were just inches apart… all she or he had to do was _just move a little closer…_

But then, he was spinning her out away from him before bringing her back in and letting go. Rey blinked at the sudden action, realizing that he’d done it to avoid what she thought was going to happen, but she stifled down her disappointment and avoided his eyes.

“Did you want to stay the night? You can, uh, take the bed?” Ben offered when they stood apart. Rey rubbed the back of her neck and nodded, still not meeting his gaze, but followed after him as he left the practice room and headed in the direction of what Rey assumed to be the bedroom.

Of course, it was giant with a king sized bed smack in the middle of it. Black covers and comforters adorned the magnificent looking thing while decorations on the walls shone a sharp silver. The whole room looked just as sharp as she expected and she had to hold back a sharp laugh at the thought it would be anything different.

“Extra blankets are in the closet if you need them but you’re welcome to borrow some clothes since you’re still in your practice things. I’ll, uh, leave you to it,” Ben stated, giving a small nod of his head before he closed the door behind him and left her alone. 

And just like that… she was back to being by herself. 

Rey stared at the closed door, stunned that their somewhat romantic moment had been disturbed by none other than the man involved instead of someone else. Her cheeks heated up in embarrassment when she realised maybe he didn’t want these tender pauses with her… maybe he wasn’t as intrigued about what could happen as she was.

Rey quickly blinked back the swell of tears that started in her eyes, hating that they were there in the first place, and limped over to what she assumed to be the closet. Nearly every article of clothing was on the dark side of the color spectrum. Greys, blacks, navys, and occasionally some whites were lined up on the clothing racks.

She let out a somewhat heartless and wet laugh before grumbling miserably, “Figures.”

The first thing she got her hands on was a pair of black sweatpants and a grey shirt that very nearly fit like a dress on her slim body. She found she didn’t mind being covered in his clothes, but the harsh reminder he was just being kind and none of this really mattered stopped her from savoring it.

So she crawled into his giant bed, curled on her side under his plus covers, and cradled one of his pillows against her chest. For the first time in a very long time, Rey went to bed with a full belly, even though her sadness stopped her from realising it.

*****

When she woke the next morning, it was to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen and her body feeling wickedly comfortable. She yawned and stretched beneath his heavenly comforters and greedily let herself stay in bed for just a few more minutes until a knock came to the door.

Rubbing her eyes, Rey sat up in his bed and watched through a bleary gaze as Ben opened the door a crack and peered inside at her. “Oh, good, you’re up. I’ve got breakfast going but I figured I should probably come get you because we’ve got to be at rehearsal in a bit,” he told her gently.

_Shit. Right. Rehearsal._ Today was Friday and they were supposed to practice with the whole company. 

Rey yawned one more time with a nod and peeled back the covers of his bed before she slipped out and padded over to where he was standing. When she opened the door to fully greet him, Ben’s face was a little pink and his eyes were set on the clothes she was wearing.  
  
“What?” Rey asked shyly. 

“Oh, uh, nothing. Breakfast, yeah?” Ben quickly covered, turning away from her. Rey deflated a little at his reaction, but said nothing of it as she followed him and found the same spot at the kitchen bar that she’d sat in last night. Her ankle throbbed when she finally sat down and relieved it of her weight. 

Damn, that was going to be a no-no for dancing today. 

“How’s the ankle holding up?” Ben asked as he started to plate the pancakes and bacon he’d whipped up for them. Rey’s mouth watered at the sight of it and she greedily picked up her fork before he even set the plate down fully in front of her.

“Poe’s going to be upset but… I don’t think I’m going to be able to dance on it,” Rey admitted while she cut out a triangle shape in her pancakes. Ben hissed a little as she broke the news to him, but he shrugged his shoulders and was quick to defend her.

“If he says anything about it, I’ll say it was my fault. Speaking of… I, uh, called Snoke this morning. I told him I wanted to stop training with him.” 

Rey set down her fork and looked up to observe Ben’s face as he stabbed at his pancakes. He hadn’t taken a bite of the golden flapjacks yet, but she could tell that he was obviously upset with what had happened. “What did he say?” she asked softly, caution evident in her tone due to the fact she didn’t know what way this was going to go.

Either Ben was going to leave the man for good or he was going to give in and continue training with him. Based on what Rey had observed from Ben’s personality so far, she hoped he would be strong enough to know that his relationship with Snoke had come to an end.

_She would’ve sprained her ankle years ago if it meant Ben gave the cruel man up._

“He just told me I’d regret it and that he made me who I am and that could be taken away,” Ben said with a sharp tone. Ah, so it hadn’t gone well at all then. And it seemed like Snoke had left it on a very _ominous_ note too. Rey certainly hoped nothing bad would come of it, but she figured she shouldn’t be surprised if it did.

They ate in silence for the rest of the morning until their plates were clean and it was nearly time for them to head out to rehearsal. “Do you mind if I just wear this today? Considering I won’t be dancing and all… I’ll wash everything and return it to you on Monday?” Rey questioned as she looked down at Ben’s clothes still on her body. 

“I don’t mind at all. Like I said, I’ll back you up if Poe says anything. He’ll probably just pull in your understudy for the day,” Ben pointed out.

Rey’s mouth went dry when he said understudy. Rey had completely forgotten that there was someone learning her exact same moves in case anything happened to her. A chill ran down her spine and Rey didn’t _want_ to ask who her understudy was, but the question tumbled out anyway before she could stop it. 

Ben just shrugged and said pointedly, “Zorii.” 

The nausea that overwhelmed Rey at that moment kept her quiet in turn during the entire car ride to the Lincoln Center. Ben didn’t seem to notice it, but if he did, he just turned the car radio on to some mindless station that could fill the silence. 

Of course Zorii would be her understudy. She was beautiful and perfect and flawless and smart and Rey knew she’d worked herself into the performance one way or another. She just didn’t know she’d worked herself into the role as her _understudy._

As soon as she walked into that studio, Rey just knew Zorii was going to be ecstatic at the sight of her hurt ankle. In fact, Rey expected Zorii to make the situation a much bigger deal than it actually was in the hopes that their roles would be reversed. 

It was only moments after they’d pulled into the parking garage that Rey whipped out her crappy phone and found Rose’s number in her contacts list. She quickly messaged the girl asking if she had a spare outfit for rehearsal before shoving the technology back into Ben’s sweatpants.

Her already anxious and saddened mood had now gone through the roof at the prospect of Zorii taking her spot as the prima ballerina. Sure, nothing was really going to happen between her and Ben, but Rey still liked to consider him as hers. It was wrong to claim people and Rey knew that, but she liked having him to herself during the week.

Zorii would come in like a bull through a China shop and ruin everything they’d worked to build together. He’d brought out some emotion in her and she’d softened him just a little bit with his dancing. They were working on it and Rey didn’t want to give that up.

So she was going to tough it through practice and act like her ankle wasn’t pulsing in her slippers that she’d tied back on. Normally, if something like this happened, Rey would have simply given up and just let it happen. A week ago, Rey truly wouldn’t have been bothered to care if Zorii took her spot.

A week ago, Rey wasn’t a prima ballerina, she didn’t know Ben, and her face had been as blank as a brick wall. But today, as she walked into the Center with Ben at her side, Rey felt ready to fight for what she’d worked on. 

She wasn’t going to let Zorii take it from her, sprained ankle be damned. Ben had certainly danced on worse with the concept of Snoke looming in the background and no one had ever noticed if he _was_ injured. 

When her phone vibrated in the pocket of her sweatpants, Rey tugged out the phone and read the message from Rose that said she did have a few extra things and that her bag was the red one in the locker room. “Hey, I’m going to go to the women’s locker room, okay? I’ll meet you on the stage, yeah?” Rey told Ben once they headed down the ballet hallways.

He nodded and gave her a thumbs up, heading in his own direction for the men’s locker room while Rey tried her best to hurry to the private area. As soon as she entered, Rey spotted Rose’s bag among the pile of other ballerinas’ and she was quick to unzip it. 

A few pairs of tights, leotards, wraps, and leg warmers were tossed around inside of it and Rey wasted no time shrugging out of Ben’s clothes to pull on black leg warmers that would hide her brace and a light pink leotard. She tugged on a cropped black crew neck as well before deeming herself ready enough for practice.

Rey squared her shoulders and tilted her chin up, feeling ready for a war, while she walked down the hallway in the direction of the stage. Everyone was already waiting around when she entered-- Ben talking with Poe to the side presumably about her hurt ankle.

But as soon as Ben laid eyes on her, his entire expression turned sour. Rey just looked away, focused on Zorii who was standing with the background ballerinas, and did her best to walk forward without a limp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! Shit's about to hit the fan xx


	6. Day 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY I FORGOT TO POST A CHAPTER LAST SUNDAY OMG I'LL TRY TO POST TWO CHAPTERS THIS WEEK!!!  
> PLEASE ACCEPT THIS ANGSTY CHAPTER AS MY APOLOGY.
> 
> TW//: Food, hunger, lack of money

Rey approached Rose in the group of ballerinas as she gritted back pain behind her teeth. Zorii lifted her gaze to Rey and narrowed her eyes as she looked her up and down, spotting that something looked a little different about her. Rey paid no mind to Zorii, focusing instead on Rose, and reached out to place her hand on her friend’s shoulder to get her attention.

“There you are! We were wondering when the two of you were going to show up,” Rose gushed as she turned around and pulled Rey into a hug. Rey hugged her friend back and mustered up the best smile she could offer as the rest of the group gave their attention to the two. 

“Yeah, why did you two show up at the same time, by the way?” Zorii asked, pushing past two other ballerinas to make herself stand out in the crowd. Rey pulled away from Rose and let her smile die as she met the accusatory gaze of the taller, and much prettier, ballerina. 

“That’s not any of your concern,” Rey shot back with a low tone. Sensing that she’d caught onto a sensitive topic, Zorii smirked and crossed her arms as she looked Rey up and down. 

“You know… you were walking a little funny when you came over here. That’d be quite a big scandal if word went out that you only got the lead spot because you were, oh I don’t know… fucking the primo ballerino?” Zorii accused, cocking her head to the side before shooting a glance in the direction of Ben who was suddenly marching over to the group.

“Rey, I need to talk to you _right_ fucking now,” he growled as he grabbed Rey’s arm and immediately dragged her away from the group before Rey could protest or say anything back to Zorii.

All she could do was watch as the ballerina turned to the group of girls who were now whispering loudly and shooting her angry looks. Tears welled up in Rey’s eyes and as soon as Ben let go of her arm once they were out of range of the company, she weakly pushed him while the tears spilled over.

“You idiot! You just ruined everything!” Rey accused through a gasp. Ben’s face went from that of confusion to anger as he took her by the shoulders and looked her up and down with eyes filled with fire.

_“I_ ruined everything? _You’re_ about to ruin everything! Why the fuck are you dressed up like you’re about to go on that stage and dance? Are you out of your fucking _mind?!_ You’re supposed to be sitting out so your ankle can heal and we can actually perform together in five weeks!” he shouted in rage. “You were supposed to let Zorii-”

“Zorii thinks I _fucked_ you to get the spot, you idiot!” Rey cut him off with a desperate scream.

As if he’d been slapped across the face, Ben suddenly dropped her shoulders like they’d been made of lava and he’d just been burnt. He blinked at her, watching without words as Rey sobbed quietly and hurried to wipe her face free of tears. “Why did you pick me, Ben? _Why?_ ” she questioned breathlessly. 

Not even bothering to hear what he had to say, Rey pushed past him and quickly started to limp in the direction of the locker room as fast as she could. Of course, the sound of his racing feet caught up in no time and one of his hands was back around her arm to make her face him once more. 

“Did you tell her that you didn’t? Fuck me, I mean?” he asked with wild eyes.

Disgusted at his question, Rey yanked her arm from his grip and spat out, “I came to practice today to prove I was worth the spot. Because believe it or not, I’m not a good fucking bellerina, Ben. In fact, you chose the _worst_ fucking ballerina in the whole comapny. Go tell her yourself I didn’t fuck you for the spot.” 

Ben didn’t chase after her again when she stormed off. Fighting to wipe away tears that cascaded down her hot face, Rey ripped the leotard and leg warmers and crewneck off so that she could change into the ratty outfit she had on from the day before. 

“Fuck!” she hissed as she pulled her old leotard on only for a massive hole to split open along her ribcage. Grumbling, upset, and coated with tears, Rey ditched the clothes that belonged to Ben along with Rose’s spare pieces and took off in the direction away from the Lincoln Center. 

The streets were busier now that it was later in the morning and Rey winced every time she took a step on her hurt ankle. The wind promised snow at some point during the day and Rey ignored the looks of bewilderment and concern as she stumbled against the flow of sidewalk traffic to get home. 

To be fair, dressed in nothing but a leotard, leggings, and pointe shoes while the weather was nearly freezing probably deserved to be looked at. 

But Rey just clutched her duffle bag and marched on through the crowds of people and the winter weather. By the time she reached her run down apartment, Rey had lost feeling throughout her body and her teeth were clacking horribly from the cold. She shook as she pulled out her key and missed a few times trying to get it into the slot of her door. 

The sound of dogs barking angrily in the distance and horns honking a few streets away made Rey realize how quickly she needed to get inside to escape the noise of the city. As soon as she tumbled into her shabby apartment, Rey let the tears fall once more while she locked the door and threw her things into her bedroom. 

She sniffled quietly and tugged off her pointe shoes with muffled sobs. She stepped out of her leggings and leotard with winces and whimpers as her body ached from the training she’d been through. And she pulled on new clothes with huffs of effort until there was nothing left for her to do but collapse on her couch in the living room.

The TV was fuzzy when she brought it to life with the remote and the one spare blanket she had in the house barely held any warmth as she draped it around her body. Her once cozy and comforting purple sweatpants were now rough on her skin from overwashing and the cuffs rested tightly a few inches above her ankles.

The fuzzy pink socks she had on were nice enough, aside from the hole on the heel of one, and her oversized grey hoodie acted as another soothing barrier to the cold that was seeping into her apartment. Heating couldn’t be afforded this month due to the fact she still had to pay Plutt by the end of the week, so Rey just curled in tighter on herself and tried to pay attention to the TV.

It was easy to slip back into her depressive mindset as she stared blankly at the staticy show playing before her. Her mind was blank and the sound of her slow heartbeat filled her ears instead of the laugh track screeching in the background of whatever comedy was on. 

Her stomach rumbled with hunger, but she ignored it with a slow blink instead and decided to lightly roll her hurt ankle so she could at least feel something beyond nothing. The dull ache that ran up her leg reminding her she was a living thing would be enough to last an hour, so Rey left her body alone after that.

_She wondered what Zorii was saying right now and what everyone was thinking._

It wasn’t like Zorii had just whispered what she assumed to Rey privately. No, she’d said it loud and clear in front of the group that Rey fucked Ben to get the spot of prima ballerina. If Rey had her feelings turned on, she’d probably be crying again right now. But they were off, so she couldn't find it within her to care.

To be honest, it wasn’t like it was going to matter anyway. She’d be fired at the end of the season and they would continue to talk about her long after she was gone and she would forever go down as the ballerina who was so shitty, she had to sleep with the primo to finally be seen. 

But that wasn’t who she was at all. Rey hadn’t wanted the position and Rey still had no idea why Ben really chose her, even if he kept telling her it was because he saw ‘potential’ in her. No one had seen ‘potential’ in her for years, so he was clearly lying to her. Though, once again, Rey couldn’t be inclined to care.

She just stared blankly at the TV and watched the characters give witty commentary to each other while a live studio audience laughed forcefully in the background. _Rey felt like a laugh track sometimes…_

A knock at her front door pulled Rey out of her morose thoughts, her eyes flicking weakly to the sound. It went away for a few seconds and Rey figured it wouldn’t come back, but the next time the knocking came, it was more forceful and followed by the familiar voice calling out, “Rey? I know you’re in there.” 

Her heart sank as she recognized Ben was outside of her shitty apartment probably with his luxury car parked outside and nice clothes on, absolutely begging for something bad to happen. Rey’s fear he’d get hurt was the only thing that pulled her to her feet and made her go to the front door.

She cracked the door open as much as the lock chain would allow it and peered out to meet his anxious eyes. “Oh, thank God… you’re okay. Will you please let me in, Rey?” Ben begged through the other side, clutching onto the door frame as he leaned in and didn’t dare take his eyes off of her. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?” Rey whispered with a monotonous tone. 

His eyebrows furrowed up in stunned confusion and he quickly shook his head. “Rey, fuck practice, I care more about you right now. Please? Can you let me in so we can talk?” he pleaded once more. Rey nibbled at her bottom lip and shifted on her feet, but gave in with a small sigh and closed the door to unlock the chain before opening it once more. 

Ben quickly pushed into the home before she could rethink her decision, but paused as soon as he took a few steps inside. It was small and dingy, Rey knew that, but the way his eyes looked over everything in horror only made her feel a little more self conscious about where she lived.

“It’s not much, I know…” she admitted softly from behind him. Ben turned around and shook his head, reaching out to gently grasp her arms while he looked over her with troubled eyes. 

“I don’t care, Rey. I really don’t. I’m so sorry for what I said… please forgive me. I was such an asshole, _such_ a fucking asshole, and you didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you this morning. I left rehearsal and said some… things… to Zorii that’ll probably get me in trouble, but I didn’t care. I just had to see you and apologize,” he explained desperately. 

Rey blinked as she stared at him and let the blanket that had been wrapped around her now fall to the floor to show off her ‘sexy’ outfit. She was about to open her mouth to say something when he shook his head and dropped her arms once more.

“You’re not the worst ballerina in the company, Rey. Not by a long shot. You’re beautiful and talented and so good at what you do when you’re actually present. When you danced for me that day, everyone else had all of their emotions on their sleeves, ready for the world to see everything.

“But you… you just weren’t there, Rey, and I needed to see what could be. I needed to see who you really were as a dancer. And I told Zorii that you didn’t sleep with me, I told her a lot fucking more than that, but I also told her she’d never be you. No one could ever be you. 

“You may be nothing to them, but not to me. You’re everything to me,” Ben rushed out. Rey blinked a few more times at him and slowly started to give him a slow nod. 

“I, uh… thank you… Ben…” she murmured, moving to hold herself as the chill in the apartment started to get to her. Ben seemed to feel it too as he shivered a little and looked around her small place once more in confusion. 

“I mean what I said, Rey, but Jesus Christ… it’s fucking freezing in here,” he hissed through clenched cheeks. Rey blushed a little and bent over to pick up her ratty blanket before extending it to him. He took it from her with a skeptical but thankful eye and wrapped it around his bare arms.

“Thanks for coming over, Ben. I… really, yeah, it’s okay. It just wasn’t a good morning for either of us, I don’t think. I’m not sure I want to hear just yet what you said to Zorii, but you’re welcome to stay for a while if you’d like so we can try to make the day a bit better?” she offered, gesturing to the beat up couch behind him.

Ben just nodded and sat beside her on her messied couch in her beat up apartment with her tattered blanket pulled around his arms, never once complaining about where he was because he much more cared about who he was with. 

*****

By the time Rey’s stomach grumbled for dinner, Ben had already watched one too many crappy daytime shows and helped Rey pull her sheets and comforter off her bed so they could be warm on the couch. She was in and out beside him, her head often finding his shoulder when she dozed, but now she was just barely awake and obviously hungry.

“Do you want me to make us some dinner?” Ben asked softly as he peered down at the sleepy ballerina. She yawned and nodded, mumbling something about where the cabinet was before her eyes closed once more and she was out. Ben smiled at her gentle face and stood from the couch to head towards her miniscule kitchen. 

Only one door could be the pantry, but Ben did a double take when he opened it and saw barely anything inside. Frowning, he looked for another place where food could be that didn’t require the fridge, but found nothing. 

Clearly upset now, Ben opened her fridge only to see the same thing that the pantry offered him-- nearly nothing. _Jesus Christ… where was her food?_ Rey’s stomach growled loudly again from the couch and a chilling realization washed over Ben like ice water. 

He could feel her ribs through her leotards. 

She ate like her life depended on it when she came over the night before.

Holes and tears were apparent in every garment she wore to rehearsal. 

There was no wool in her pointe shoes because she couldn’t buy it.

Rey was hungry and Rey had no money. 

Ben wasted no time pulling out his phone and ordering pizzas, breadsticks, and the stupid cinammon twist desserts he would never usually get. Rey shuffled a little on the couch and Ben shivered when he felt the cold sink back into his bones due to the fact he’d been gone from the safety of the blankets for too long. 

He shoved his phone back into his joggers and took purposeful steps towards the couch before snuggling in close next to Rey who was still in and out of sleep. His eyes seemed to find so much more about her when he was really looking for things he’d just noticed.

Her cheekbones were sunken in, her lips were pale when she wasn’t biting into them, circles lined the underside of her eyes, and thin creases decorated the top of her forehead from worry. Her nails were short from biting them and her skin was pale when the warm glow of rehearsal lights weren’t upon her.

Rey looked sick and lonely. 

Ben’s stomach curled in an unpleasant way and he started to jump his leg up and down while he pulled his phone back out to track the order. It was thankfully already being worked on, but the tiny grumble of her stomach only made the ache in his heart awaken once more.

He’d been such an asshole to her this morning. Why the _fuck_ did he ask her if she’d told Zorii no when it was clear she was more upset about the fact she couldn’t dance? Just the thought alone made him run a hand down his face and he knew he’d apologize again when she seemed more in the right headspace to hear what he had to say.

When Rey opened the door for him earlier, Ben saw the same lifeless mask she’d worn when he first watched her. He knew that was his doing-- sending her into the mental realm of nothingness where nothing seemed to matter and nothing seemed to register. 

Ben had beaten himself up during the entire trip to her house. He’d begged Rose for what seemed like an eternity for her address after he’d made Zorii cry and then ditched his car in favor of running as soon as Rose let the information slip. Ben knew he was whipped for Rey and that there was nothing he could do about it at this point.

He’d known the ballerina for a week and he already seemed to worship the ground she walked on. The way they worked together and the things she already knew about him without pushing to figure them out startled Ben but calmed him all at once. He wanted to know more about her… but he assumed he’d figured out enough for the time being as she curled into herself once more.

The phone showed that the pizza was being boxed up and getting ready for delivery when Ben checked his phone five minutes later and he nearly sighed in relief. Her apartment really was cold as shit and Ben would offer to let her stay at his place if he didn’t already feel like an ass.

The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel like shit about her apartment, even if she had pointed out herself that it wasn’t the best. Which brought Ben back to one of his original thoughts… 

Ben couldn’t deny that he made a lot of money as the primo ballerino for the NYCB, well over one hundred grand, and he knew for a fact that company ballerinas themselves made around seventy grand… so why on earth was she living here? Especially with a new paycheck, she could find somewhere nicer and closer, right?

_Just another thing for him to think about, he supposed._

Ben finally tossed his phone to the side when he checked it again and read that the pizza and everything else was on its way. He never fucking ordered pizza, but he was about to eat the hell out of everything if it meant Rey would eat a lot too. Shit, he’d do anything at this point if Rey did it too and it meant she was happy. 

The knock on the front door only a few minutes later startled Ben, but he quickly jumped up from the couch and ignored the phone on the floor that said the pizza was still in transit. “Shit…” he huffed, shoving one hand into his pocket to pull out his wallet.

Of course he hadn’t pulled out the money he needed while he was staring at the screen.

“How much do I owe you?” Ben asked as he opened the door, his eyes trained down into his wallet as he fingered through the paper bills and pulled out a twenty to start. When no answer came, he glanced up quickly only to do a double take when the grimiest man he’d ever seen in his life was staring back at him with sinister eyes, a slimy smirk, and a large belly covered in a stained white tank.

“Well, what do you know? Who would’ve thought my little Rey would have a visitor?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, please don't hate me :,) xx


	7. Day 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!
> 
> TW: Implied/ referenced child abuse, childhood trauma

Ben stared at the grubby man in front of him and slowly put the cash back into his wallet. A cold chill ran down the back of his spine and he purposely took a step forward to crowd the doorway so the man couldn’t see Rey asleep behind him. “And you are?” Ben asked with a warning tone.

The man narrowed his eyes, his smirk dropping when he realized Ben was a serious guy. “None of your goddamn business. Rey owes me money, so you better get her scrawny ass out here soon because I know she’s in there,” he spat back. 

Disgusted, horrified, and angry all at once, Ben stepped back only to slam the door in the man’s face before locking it. Rey woke with a start at the sound, sitting upright from the couch as she rubbed her eyes and looked around in confusion. “Ben? Everything okay?” she asked through a groggy sleeping voice.

“There’s a man outside who says you owe him money,” Ben replied sharply, turning away from the door and staring at her with what he hoped was an emotionless expression. He watched as her face seemed to drain of all color and within seconds, the comforter was on the floor and Rey was scrambling to get into her bedroom.

“He wasn’t supposed to come until Friday,” she whispered in a panic as she ripped open one of her drawers on her beat up dresser and pulled out a plastic tub that seemed to have had better days.

“It _is_ Friday. Rey, what the fuck is going on?” Ben growled, stepping forward to see for himself what she was doing. His eyes widened significantly when he saw her clawing at the lid of the plastic tub, its clear circular sides showing off the gigantic stash of cash within. 

_She wasn’t into drugs, right? That wasn’t what this was?_ Ben was terrified to ask.

Rey whipped around after she pulled out a thick wad of money and looked up at him with scared eyes. “I promise I’ll explain everything… just don’t say anything and stay here, okay?” she asked with a shaky voice. Ben pursed his lips and nodded, watching as she left the bedroom and slowly approached the front door. 

Her hand trembled while she opened the door and clutched the roll of paper behind her back, cracking it open slightly to meet the furious face of Unkar. “There you are, you brat. You’ve got some fucking company, you know that? Where’s my money?” he growled out, wiping one of his greasy paws on his already stained tank top.

Rey shivered at the sight and quickly extended the stash out to him without a word, keeping her eyes diverted down to that horrible shirt. She didn’t even want to know what stains caused the fabric to turn a muddy yellow. She certainly didn’t want to look at the miniscule flecks of red here and there either.

Plutt’s grubby fingers flicked through each individual piece while he muttered the total under his breath, the usual four thousand dollars all there like he expected. With an angry huff, like he half hoped she didn’t have all the money he needed just so he could start something, Unkar lifted the wad of cash and gave a forced smirk.

“A pleasure as always, my little girl. Only one hundred thousand left,” he sneered. Rey bit down on her bottom lip and nodded, watching as he turned away and lumbered down the sidewalk to get into his shitty car. When the engine finally turned over, a signal she could finally close the door, Rey all but slammed it and let out the breath she’d been holding in.

One hundred thousand. Two years. Twenty-six. 

One hundred thousand. Two years. Twenty-six. 

One hundred thousand. Two years. Twenty-six. 

Rey repeated the small sentences in her head three times before she opened her eyes and met the dark gaze of Ben, his cold expression turned onto her. _Right, she owed him an explanation._ With a defeated sigh, Rey jerked her head in the direction of the couch and numbly walked towards it.

Ben followed behind without a word and they sat down across from each other as Rey wrapped herself up protectively in the comforter they dragged out. Ben muted the television, his eyes never once leaving hers, and they sat in silence for a long time while Rey decided where to start.

“My parents were heroin addicts,” she stated, her eyes assuming their usual far off look whenever she thought about it. Ben shifted at the sentence, whether it was because he was suddenly suspicious of her and where her money was going or because he was abruptly uncomfortable, Rey wasn’t sure.

“I didn’t know that until later in my life, but I remember that. I remember when I was little, the majority of their money went to heroin while the little bit they had left went to getting me things for dance,” Rey smiled sadly at the thought, looking down at her fingers while she twirled them and memories flickered in her mind.

“All I really remember was that one day, I had a home, parents, and leotards… and the next day, I had a backpack, a new caretaker, and one pair of dance shoes. I don’t know what happened to my parents or where they went or why they left, I just know that they entrusted me with Plutt,” she admitted softly. 

Ben remained silent. 

“He worked at a junkyard and was a friend to my parents for a reason I assume to this day is related to drugs, though he never took any or sold any. Though, I figure, he probably did them before my parents had me and that’s when they met. It was fine at first… I was lonely and sad, sure, but I had a bed and food and someone who tolerated me.

“Plutt didn’t care that I danced. I did it in my room and around the house when he was out, squeezing into those ballet shoes even as I grew. It wasn’t until I turned sixteen did things really… _change…”_ Rey bit down on her bottom lip at this and contemplated how much detail she wanted to go into with what happened next.

The tears came, as she expected, and she was quick to wipe them away before they even fell down her cheeks. “Plutt got a lot more interested in my dancing. He bought me nice leotards and shoes that fit… but the clothes were always too tight and he always seemed to forget leggings,” Rey scoffed at how stupid she was back then and placed a hand over her mouth while she thought about it.

Of course he was the kind of man to prey on younger girls, little girls, at that. But Rey was blinded by the gifts until it was too late. She closed her eyes tight at the flood of images that came swarming into her brain. With a deep breath, she pulled her hand away and started to work her fingers through her hair instead while she looked down.

Ben had shifted again, clearly starting to see where this was going, but Rey continued on anyway. It was better he knew what kind of partner he had, wasn’t it? 

_The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was a heroin addict like her parents._

“Um, anyway… I got older, moved on to seventeen, and then he got handsy. He didn’t…” Rey squinted her eyes as she tried to think of a kind way to say it while she twirled her hands in the air, “ _touch me-_ touch me… no forced… _you know_ … but still touching over fabric where young girls shouldn’t be touched.

“That was where… where I started to lose my love for dancing. I hated putting on the shoes and the clothes because I knew if I did, Plutt would come and make my skin crawl and my brain go numb. But he got angry if I didn’t.

“He pushed me into joining the competitive ballet team in town and joining my high school dance club just so I would practice around the house. Every time I put on those stupid shoes that were too tight… my passion died a little bit more. I won competitions again and again until my walls were filled with awards and my dressers covered with trophies… but each one felt empty. 

“I _loathed_ putting on leotards,” she finished wetly as the tears now flowed freely down her face. Ben’s breathing was so quiet, all Rey could do was flash him a glance to make sure he was still alive. He was, and his eyes were dark as he stared back at her.

She quickly looked away and sniffed before moving on.

“Anyway… high school finished and I graduated and Plutt drove me to auditions for the NYC ballet company. I auditioned, put the face on that everyone wants to see, sickled my feet, straightened my legs, sucked in my stomach… and I got in. I left as soon as I got the money to get this apartment. 

“But then Plutt got… well, he got enraged. Demanded I start paying him back for everything he did to get me here. He came up with the amount of four hundred thousand. Said shoes, leotards, lessons, competitions, food, shelter, schooling, and everything else totaled up. Not to mention I was paying for my parents abandonment too. 

“So… I pay him 4,160 dollars on the first Friday of every month until that amount is paid in its entirety. I started when I was eighteen, I’m twenty-four now, so fifty thousand every year for six years…” Rey trailed off while she did the math in her head.

“That’s 299,250 dollars I’ve paid so far. I have two years and one month left until I’ve paid entirely and I’m out of his debt. Every time I dance, Ben… everytime I put on those shoes and leotards, all I can think of are his hands on me when I’m young and the way he loved to watch me. 

“If anything… I’m the best dancer in the company because I’m still doing it, not because I love it anymore…” she whispered the last part. The room went deathly silent, only the sound of her shaky breathing filling the tense void.

More tears slipped down her already painted and stained face, but Rey made no movement to wipe them away. She was tired with what she’d said, exhausted at the memories that now plagued her mind, and fatigued at the fact the first person she’d shared that story with was hard-ass primo ballerino Ben Solo.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of a knock at her door ruined whatever moment they were about to share.

Snapping herself out of her melancholy thoughts, Rey finally cleansed her face of wetness with her fingers and sniffled while she drew her comforter closer. Ben grumbled something under his breath but stood up from the couch anyway to answer the door.

A dorky teenage boy was on the other side holding thin boxes and the smell of pizza immediately grabbed Rey’s attention. _When had that been something they decided on?_

Ben and the delivery boy shared a few short words before he closed the door once more and turned back to the couch. When he sat down, Rey’s stomach grumbled at an embarrassing volume and she ducked her head as he extended the large box to her first. 

“I think you need a break,” he said out of the blue once Rey opened the box and grabbed the biggest slice of cheese pizza within. She furrowed her eyebrows as she took a bite, but Ben was too focused on staring at his own slice of pizza he’d grabbed.

A few moments passed before he spoke again, this time with a more determined expression on his face. “My mom was a ballerina back in the day. She was a really good one, too. Better than me, that’s for sure. I haven’t seen her in… much longer than I’d care to admit. 

“I think it might do us some good if we took a break, maybe went and visited my parents if you’d like,” Ben suggested. Rey swallowed her bite of pizza and parted her lips as she gawked at the primo across from her. _Was he suggesting they visit his parents right now?_

Seeming to understand that their change of attitude from her serious backstory to his strange suggestion caught her off guard, Ben quickly tried to fix the situation.

“I, uh… I’m not great at saying the right thing or what people want to hear. I know that you’re probably knowledgeable of that, but I figured I should just… put it out there. If I see that man come around here again, my only suggestion is that you hold me back.

“I’m trying my best not to show how angry I am right now with how that man treated you and ruined your love for dance, so the best I can offer is a break. For both of us. You get some time away from this place and I get some time away from the catastrophic mess I’ve probably caused back at the studio. 

“Who knows? Maybe a visit to my parents’ will unlock some unknown wonders for us. What do you think?” Ben took another bite out of his pizza, this time avoiding her eyes, and Rey mulled it over for a moment.

She didn’t remember much about her parents except for the two memories of her dancing in their old living room and then being left behind with Plutt. Rey couldn’t remember their faces, their voices, or anything really except for the marks in their arms. She wondered what it would be like to even visit parents… 

Without a second thought, Rey nodded as she chewed her next bite. “Yeah,” she agreed through a mouthful, “Okay.” 

*****

They gave up on staying at her home when her fingers began to turn numb and every slice of pizza, cinnamon twist, and garlic bread was gone. Rey was stunned to find that Ben hadn’t in fact driven to her house-- she figured he’d been kidding when he said he ran-- but he carried her duffle bag full of clothes for their adventure while they walked back to the Lincoln Center.

For yet another night, Rey was full with food.

The ride in his car was warm and comfortable and Rey found herself dozing off more than once as they glided through the streets of New York in the direction of his apartment. By the time they pulled up, however, she was out cold and Ben was staring at her slumped body in the passenger’s seat.

He sat there for a long time just staring at her, his thoughts like a stormy sea that required him to fight every wave just to stay afloat. How could anyone take advantage of her? How could anyone lay a hand on her with disgusting intent? How could anyone kill something she loved by _using_ that thing she loved?

Ben’s knuckles were turning white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel as he stared at the side of Rey’s sleeping face. There was absolutely no denying it any longer. A week of working together, discovering truths, and opening up had made him fall head over heels.

He was an idiot, just like his father, and he knew it. Han had been the same way with Leia when they’d met when they were kids, hopeless romantics. Ben had never considered himself to be one, but he knew just by looking at Rey that he was quickly turning into one.

He’d do anything to keep her safe and happy.

_And he’d also bought her brand new pointe shoes…_

Ben dragged a tired hand down his face and grumbled as he scolded himself for his rushing emotions and soft heart. He’d worked too hard to build up a defensive personality for it to all crumble as soon as a broken ballerina sashayed into his life.

But he peeked out from behind the tips of his fingers once more at her and his heart gave a traitorous leep with feeling at the sight of her. Yes, his fate was sealed and he was doomed. Ben had a massive crush on his prima ballerina. And now he was taking her home to his parents’ for the weekend. Or maybe the week. 

Poe could suck his dick if he said anything about it. Ben had learned harder choreography in less time, anyway. 

Rey shifted in the passenger’s side while Ben stared at her, but he quickly snapped out of it and decided it was probably best to wake her. “Rey,” he whispered softly, reaching out to gently shake her shoulder. Her heavy eyelashes fluttered and she looked up at him groggily with rosy cheeks and parted lips. _Shit._

Ben coughed a little and pointed to the parking garage just outside the window. “We’re here. Do you want some help getting upstairs or-”

“Oh! No, no, I can walk. Thank you, though,” she cut off with a soft smile. _Fuck, he really was whipped, wasn’t he?_ Ben opened up the driver’s side door and chucked her duffle bag over his shoulder once more after he gathered it up from the backseat.

They rode the elevator up in a quiet comfort, Rey swaying on her feet as she fought to stay awake while Ben stood stiff as a tree a foot or two away from her. God forbid he do anything he regretted in a closely confined space. _He was a creep. Definitely a creep._

When the elevator bell dinged on his floor, Rey stepped out with a yawn and immediately collapsed on his couch before Ben could even suggest giving up the bed to her once more. With a sigh at his own poor planning, Ben walked towards the bedroom and dumped her duffle bag by the entryway as he flicked on the lights.

What kind of host would he be if he didn’t give her the bed anyway? So with an adamant grumble to himself as he came to terms with having to wake her up once more, Ben set back down the hallway towards the living room and shook her shoulder for a second time just as she was starting to doze off. 

“What?” Rey murmured with a somewhat whiny tone. Ben chuckled at her attitude and managed to meet her hazy gaze as she opened her eyes to slits. 

“Come on, ballerina. Let’s get you into bed. A couch is no place for you to sleep,” Ben informed her in a quiet tone. Rey just huffed and let him help her up this time, his arm slipping around her waist carefully as she leaned on him and nearly fell asleep like that.

By the time Ben tucked her into bed, even if she was fully clothed and that had to be uncomfortable, he was nearly sweating with exertion. He turned away to head back out to the living room to set up the couch for himself, too, when a hand suddenly wrapped around his wrist and stopped him in his tracks.

Glancing back over his shoulder, Ben met the sleepy eyes of Rey looking up at him while her cheeks turned a candy color and her lips parted to speak. “Why don’t you just stay?” she whispered sadly. 

He nibbled on his bottom lip and turned to face her as he cocked his head to the side, unsure if sleeping beside her was a good idea due to the fact she’d shared heavy information with him only hours ago. “I’m not _that_ fragile, Ben. What happened to me happened… but that doesn’t mean I can’t sleep beside a man. So stay,” Rey asserted.

She dropped his wrist.

With a deep breath in and eyes that searched her entire face for just a single trace of hesitancy, Ben finally decided she was being truthful. So he toed off his shoes, pulled back the covers in the bed, and crawled into the side opposite of her-- clothes on and everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! It's soft family time up next hehe. Also thinking about upping the chapter count. What do y'all think?


	8. Day 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! I also am adding the Solo house below for reference :)

In all of the years she’d lived, Rey had never woken up beside someone before. Sure, she’d had sleepovers with groups of girls when she was little and it was their birthday, but she’d never woken up next to a  _ man _ before. 

She hummed softly as she roused from sleep and felt the heavy weight of an arm around her waist while her back was pressed against something firm and very much defined. Rey blinked back her dreamy state and focused on the room around her, recognizing it as Ben’s.

All at once, the memories of yesterday flooded her mind and she quickly shut her eyes again while she thought about it. Plutt had come and requested his money he was due and Ben had been there to witness it all. And then she’d told him about her past and wept in front of him before eating pizza and being invited to his parents’ for the weekend.

_ Shit, they were going to the Solo house for the weekend.  _

Rey opened her eyes again and felt the small nagging at the back of her head that someone had their eyes open as well and their gaze was trained on her. “How far away do your parents live?” Rey asked softly after a beat of pause, not really wanting to break the softness of the morning that had grown between them.

Not attempting to move his arm or body, Ben took in a steady breath and murmured back into her ear, “Only an hour. They’re up in Chappaqua.” _ Rich, then.  _ That was Uptown New York, but Rey wasn’t really surprised considering she was lying beside a man who’d spent roughly three hundred on pointe shoes and added a studio to his apartment. 

The room went silent again as they sat in the morning rays of the sun, but it was Rey who eventually turned over onto her other side so that she was face to face with Ben. He’d shed his shirt at some point during the night and Rey remembered they’d fallen asleep completely clothed.

His warm chocolate eyes found hers and, for a few moments, all they did was stare at each other. Ben spoke first, his voice gentle in a way she’d never heard before. “I  _ am _ sorry, Rey. Really. I mourn the loss of your childhood and I am so sorry for what happened to you.

“You’re a beautiful dancer, Rey Niima, and I hate that man… that horrible and disgusting man who stole the love of dancing from you. If I only had sixty seconds left on this earth to live and I could choose to do anything with that time, I’d choose to see you dance,” he told her.

Rey didn’t know she was crying until one of his hands reached out and gently cupped the side of her face to wipe its track away before it dripped down her nose. She gave him a wobbly smile, sniffing slightly to hold back the not so pretty side of crying, and nodded against his careful hold.

“Thank you, Ben,” she whispered. 

He just continued to stroke the side of her face, staring into her eyes like she was the only thing tethering him to this earth and Rey couldn’t help but let her lips part when she realized they were getting closer. His forehead bumped against hers and his long lashes fluttered as he looked down to her lips before gazing back into her eyes. 

The shrill alarm that was set on his phone ruined the moment almost as soon as it had happened. With a growl of frustration from Ben and an embarrassed blush from Rey, they broke apart so he could slam his finger on the stop button while she turned to peel back the covers.

“How, um, soon do we have to leave?” she asked as she slipped out of bed, finding her bag of clothes on the floor. She zipped it open and grabbed the first cardigan available before tugging it onto her arms and facing the now looming frame of Ben.

His back was to her as he reached down to grab his shirt and pull it on, his muscles rippling below the surface of pale skin. Rey knew that he was fit, he danced shirtless for heaven's sake, but she’d never really…  _ looked…  _ until now. “If we want to get there before noon, probably as soon as I’ve gotten everything packed and you’re ready,” he mumbled back.

Rey bit her bottom lip to hide a smile, secretly adoring the way Ben was pouting because their moment had been interrupted. It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened, and she figured it wouldn’t be the last, but she was starting to get upset with it all just like he was.

Instead of saying anything about it, they parted ways once more where Rey journeyed to the bathroom to change for real and Ben hid himself away in his closet to pack. His kind and genuine words rang loudly in her head as she pulled on her yoga pants and grey hoodie that seemed to run just a little too big on her.

If he only had sixty seconds left on earth… he’d want to see her dance. 

The familiar prickle of tears came back to her eyes but she shook her head and bit back a giant grin instead while she gripped the edge of the sink and jiggled her foot behind her.  _ Was it bad to have a crush this fast?  _

To be fair, she’d developed crushes in a matter of hours when she was in elementary school. And middle school had left her with too many awkward memories of crushing on boys she thought were the shit as well before she realized years later they were just tall and knew how to wash themselves better than others. 

She was an adult now, a woman if it had to be said, and she hadn’t had a crush on a man for a very long time. But Rey also had to remind herself that this was the famous ballerino Ben Solo she was talking about. He was talented, handsome, wealthy, sharp, and probably just doing everything he could to make her a perfect dancer for their show.

The giddy smile that had graced her face only minutes ago now faded as Rey lifted her eyes and stared at the reflection of herself in the mirror. Her skin had lost its natural tan a long time ago and morphed into something sickly, bags were evident under her eyes, underneath her clothes was a body made of nothing but skin and bones, and everything on her screamed dull.

She was an idiot, wasn’t she?  _ To think his words mattered and he wanted to kiss her…  _

The new tears that came were for a different reason, but she fought them back just as she had earlier and quickly grabbed some tissues from the nearby box to wipe away her sadness. Once Rey was sure her face was clear from the terrible pink blotches that came with crying, she left the bathroom and kept her eyes down.

As soon as she took a small scent of the air, Rey knew that Ben was making breakfast in the kitchen before they left. She felt guilty for all of the food he was wasting on her. First the spaghetti, then the pizza, and now the breakfast. Didn’t he know he was just making her stomach bigger for things she couldn't have?

“Are you going to stand in the living room all day or are you going to come sit down and eat before we go?” his voice asked, startling her from her thoughts. Rey hadn’t even realized she left the bathroom until she was standing in the center of the living room with his curious gaze upon her.

But Ben smiled at her like she was just being silly, something that he liked about her, and Rey’s heart turned to mush all over again. Stupid feelings and their torurous way of making the small things seem like so much more. Nodding and acting like nothing was even battling inside of her, Rey padded to the kitchen counter and sat down on a bar stool.

“Alright, there’s some things you should know before we leave. I know I gave you the basic rundown a while ago, but there’s smaller shit you have to know in order to survive this weekend,” Ben informed with a teasing tone.

It looked like he was making omelettes for them. 

“My dad loves his car, right? He calls it the Falcon and adores this thing. It’s his pride and joy and every day when I was younger, he’d ask me to work on it with him. I mean, I did, but that didn’t mean I was stopping ballet. Anyway, if he asks you to check it out, just do it so he’ll shut up about it sooner.

“And my mother loves to tell stories, so for the love of all that is holy, please try to aim your questions away from something that could lead to a story. The last thing I want to hear for the millionth time is how my parents hooked up in the Falcon and then I came along. Those are literally the only two things I ask of you,” he finished, turning to look at her and aim his spatula at her face.

Rey blinked with wide eyes and swallowed hard, nodding before Ben grinned and turned off the heat on the skillet. “Great. Now, let’s eat.”

*****

Chappaqua was beautiful. It’s lush fake grass remained bright green even in the winter and every house was more gorgeous than the last. Some of them were brick and others were wood, but each one was either white, grey, or burgundy in color. If Rey got any closer to the car window, her nose would be pressed against the glass.

Ben seemed to find her fascination humorous as he teased her every other minute by asking the question, “So which one’s your favorite now?” Rey had truly never seen such glamorous estates in all of her life.

Sure, Ben’s apartment was luxurious in the big city, but the Uptown neighborhood made her heart beat just a little faster when she gazed upon it. “Jesus Christ… these are huge,” she whispered after they entered a gated community leading to a smaller court of houses. 

A stunning white home with black shutters, a red door, and triangle shaped roofs came into view on the right side of the road and Rey knew as Ben slowed down that this was the house they’d be staying at. Easily five bedrooms, Rey found herself frozen in her seat at the sheer size of it.

“Welcome to the Solo residence,” Ben sighed, cutting the engine after parking the car against the curb. They both sat there and stared at it for a few minutes, though the meaning of their gaze was two different reasons completely. 

Deciding he’d seen enough, Ben was the first to leave the car and round the back to retrieve their things while Rey took her time unlocking the door and stepping out. Even the air smelled different up here, cleaner somehow. She took in a deep breath and couldn’t help but smile as the realization they’d be staying here for the weekend sunk in.

It wouldn’t be long, but it would be a nice mini-vacation for a change. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket and Rey tore herself away from the spectacle to read the message on her screen from Rose:  _ You didn’t actually… you know… with Solo, right?  _

The smile disappeared immediately from her face and she angrily typed back  _ No. _ before stuffing the phone in her pocket and marching over to where Ben was so she could grab her things. “Woah, I can carry everything?” Ben offered, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“I’ve got it,” she murmured back, not meeting his concerned eyes. Out of all the people in the world she thought wouldn’t ask her about it or question her, Rose had sent that stupid message. She grimaced at the thought, only imagining what everyone was saying right now, but she pushed herself to ignore those thoughts and focus on the upcoming weekend instead.

Ben caught up to her quickly due to his long legs but he didn’t say a word about her sudden change in mood as they grew closer and closer to the front of the house. Rey’s anger almost instantly morphed into nerves when she remembered she was about to meet Ben’s parents.

_ Fuck, she was about to meet his parents. That wasn’t significant, right? _

“They know we’re coming, yeah?” Rey asked anxiously when they set down their bags for a moment on the front step. Ben just gave her an assuring smile and a slight nod. 

“Yeah, they know. In fact-” Before he could even finish his sentence, the door swung open and a small woman with braided grey hair flung herself at Ben’s frame while she cooed loudly.

“Oh, my baby boy! I was wondering if you’d ever come and see your poor mother again, and here you are! And with a pretty woman, too,” his mother teased, pulling away to eye up Rey.

“Mom, come on. Don’t scare her away,” Ben grumbled, wincing when she left him to hug Rey instead. Stunned at the sudden affection that came her way, Rey tried her best to hug the older woman back without making it seem like she was too eager or hesitant, and his mother seemed to like that when she reeled back and looked her over.

“You must be Rey, then. You know, I still follow all of the updates with the New York City Ballet Company and I was surprised this year to see Kaydel wasn’t the prima, but you are quite the beauty, aren’t you? I’ll bet you light up the stage. Hopefully you’ll steal his spotlight. Heaven knows he doesn’t need it anymore,” she chided, glancing over to Ben.

“Mom. Seriously?” he groaned, picking up their bags with a huff so he could leave the conversation as soon as possible. “Come on, Rey,” he threw over his shoulder once his mother turned to follow him like a duckling would its own mother. 

“Why don’t you let your father take care of those? He needs to move around and be active anyway. You know, he’s still working on that damn junk car of his,” Ben’s mother complained.

“It isn’t junk, Leia, and Ben can handle the bags just fine. Who would’ve thought ballet would give a man muscles like that?” a new voice commented. Rey turned her attention to the man with silver hair rounding the corner to the entryway, a slight lean in his stance standing out to her once he stopped moving.

_ Leia… that was his mother’s name then. _ Realizing she was still on the step, Rey flushed with embarrassment and stepped inside to continue witnessing the greetings going on in front of her. 

So this was what it was like to go home to a family, then.

“Oh, Han. Help your son!” Leia hissed, smacking him on the back of his head while Ben was already quietly leaving the room, his exhausted eyes finding Rey’s. He jerked his head in the direction of the stairs he was trying to escape to and Rey found no trouble stepping around the older couple to join him and help.

“It’s like this every time. Just give it a bit and they’ll come look for us once they realized we’ve left,” Ben whispered, starting a slow ascension up the stairs while Han and Leia argued over whether or not the Falcon, Rey presumed, was a piece of junk. 

“I’m sorry… I know my mother can be a bit much. You’ll, uh, get used to it pretty fast. Oh, and say goodbye to privacy for the next two days, also. She doesn’t like to have anyone but herself have it,” he teased as they finally reached one of the bedrooms in the house. 

Rey just shook her head to dismiss it, wanting to say she didn’t mind in the slightest about Leia because she’d never had a mother to come home to in the first place, but she silenced herself instead and stepped into the bedroom beside Ben without a word.

“Right, this is one of the guest bedrooms. I’m literally the door across from you, so if you need anything, you could probably just say something out loud and I’ll be here,” he told her with a tired tone. That meant he’d be in his highschool bedroom then. Rey couldn’t help but grin at the thought and giggle internally. 

She’d definitely have to check that out at some point to see what it looked like and jest with him right back. It’d been a while since she joked with him anyway. Ben set her bags down carefully at the end of her bed and gave her a curt nod before closing the door silently behind him while he slipped out.

The room was beautiful, as expected. With creams, yellows, greys, and whites, Rey felt like she was staying in a room out of one of the home and living catalogues she’d seen around. It didn’t take her long to pull out her folded clothes and place them in one of the drawers.

To be fair, she’d only brought enough to fill one of the pull out spaces. But still, it felt nice to be welcomed into a house by a family, even if it was one she barely knew. A sudden knock on her door pulled Rey from her thoughts and she cleared her throat softly before answering, “Come in!”

Speaking of, Leia peeked her head into the room and gave Rey a warm smile before pushing the rest of her body inside and leaving the door wide open. “I’m sorry about all that fuss when you came in… Han can be a pain in the ass sometimes. But it really is lovely to have you here, so I just wanted to pop in real quick.

“You know, Ben hasn’t actually been home in a long time. And this is the first time he’s brought a  _ girl _ home with him,” Leia informed in the sneaky kind of manner that implied this conversation should stay between them.

Rey just blushed and ducked her head before sitting on the edge of the bed and shaking her head. “Ben’s very kind, but he brought me here more because we had a rough week rather than anything else. He figured a break might be good for us,” she explained.

Leia furrowed her eyebrows and walked over to sit down next to Rey on the comfortable bed. “I remember my days of ballet when I performed with a company. There were always good days and bad days, but taking a break away is one the best things you can do as a dancer to make sure the show goes on in the end.

“In all of Ben’s years as a dancer, he’s never just ‘taken a break’ or left for a few days if the week was rough, though. So whatever the reason you’re here this weekend, just know it’s a rare one,” Leia told her in a kind voice. Rey blinked at the woman but nodded in thankful acknowledgement. 

“Now, I know dancing is probably the last thing you want to do-- don’t think I didn’t see that cast on your ankle-- but we do have a full studio here that you and Ben are welcome to use at any time. So with that said, I’m going to go start on some lunch for us all and let you get settled. Maybe go tease that son of mine about his room, hm? He did leave up all of his posters.” 

Rey laughed with a smile and nodded, watching as the older woman stood up from the bed and left the room gracefully, the door still wide open after she failed to close it.  _ Right, privacy and all. _

Although it was such a small thing to do, to come in and have a small conversation with her, Rey appreciated every single second of it. From the way Leia noticed her ankle even Rey had started to forget about, to sharing a secret detail about Ben’s personal life, Rey felt more welcomed by the Solo family than anyone else she’d ever met.

So with new determination and a fire in her heart, Rey stood up from the bed and crossed the slim hallway to knock on Ben’s door and see just for herself what his highschool bedroom exposed about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! Time for some fluff, family bonding, and lots of Ben embarrassment xx


	9. Day 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upped the chapter count and I have a surprise for y'all during this chapter :)

Rey held her breath as she lifted her fist and stared at the white door in front of her face. Before she could tap her knuckles against its surface, another buzz came in through her phone and she let out the soft wizz of air she’d been holding in.

With a grumble of annoyance to herself, she fished out the device and stepped to the side before leaning against the wall next to Ben’s door. Rey bit her bottom lip as an unknown number appeared on her screen, but she wasted no time unlocking the phone and reading the message that went along with it.

_ Hey, Rey, it’s Poe. Listen, everyone’s been talking about what happened yesterday and Ben let me know the two of you would be taking a break, but you wouldn’t happen to know how long that break is, would you? The show is in five weeks and we need all the days we can get to rehearse. Everyone feels really bad, even Zorii. _

Rey’s eyebrows furrowed up into a mix of frustration and anger and she started to type furiously into her phone a reply that was probably much nastier than what she would actually send to someone, but the door opened beside her before she could hit send. She jumped about a foot in the air when Ben stepped out, jerking back himself when he saw her a foot away.

“Hey, uh… you okay? You look a little upset,” Ben questioned, closing the door behind him before she could see inside like she planned to do. With a huff, Rey just handed her phone over to him and he raised an eyebrow before taking it and reading over the reply she was working on, only scrolling up to read what Poe said after her finished her unsent message.

His amused expression quickly morphed into the usual hard, tight-lipped one where his eyebrows went flat and all happiness seemed to be sucked from his features. “Fucking dick…” Ben growled, tapping the screen once before handing it back to her and turning to head down the stairs.

Rey whimpered when she realized he’d sent her message. 

_ Are you fucking kidding me? She accused me of sleeping with Ben for the part, for fucks sake. We’ll come back when we want to come back and you can tell Zorii to take her half assed apology and shove it up her ass. Don’t text me right now.  _

Deciding it was better to just leave her phone behind, Rey rushed to her open door and chucked the phone into the empty bedroom without any further thought. Her cheeks were bright pink when she descended the stairs to the living room, her anger rapidly morphing into nerves again when she heard Ben and Leia speaking in hushed tones.

“... of course you can, honey. You know we’re always happy to have you here. Stay as long as you two want, you know we just got the studio added to the back,” Leia told him softly, her words only registering in Rey’s ears once she was finishing whatever she’d started saying. 

Leia’s eyes found hers before Rey could think anymore into what had been said and Ben turned around to eye her up while Leia pushed past her son and gave Rey the warmest smile she’d ever seen.

“Rey, I’m so glad you came down! I was just telling Ben about the studio we added to the back of the house. Do you want to come with us to see it?” she asked, obviously dodging whatever had been said before Rey popped in.

“Yeah, um, that’d be great,” Rey agreed sheepishly. She flicked her eyes to Ben but he just gave her a soft smile before trailing her and his mother. His presence was overwhelming behind her as they walked through the magnificent house, its plantation frame mixed with modern elements leaving Rey speechless as she admired every corner of it with wide eyes.

She’d never been in a house like this before. The tiny home that Plutt had provided when she was younger had been falling apart at the seams. From peeling wallpaper to unknown stains and bugs, Rey shivered at the thought of it while her gaze raked over white columns inside of the different rooms they passed.

The comforting feeling of Ben’s large hand on the small of her back instantly caught Rey’s attention and she looked over her shoulder at him with questioning eyes, but he kept his gaze straight ahead and avoided her attention while his mother began to talk about ballet.

Though, what Leia was bringing up to the two of them, Rey had no idea. She quickly turned her gaze to the floor to focus on where she was walking, her cheeks hot with a new flush, when she realized that she was limping slightly on her hurt ankle.  _ Oh. He was steadying her _ . If anything, it just made her blush deepen that he cared enough to tell her he was there without words.

“... and obviously I gave up professional dance a long time ago, old age and all, but it’s still nice to put on some flats sometimes and do some pirouettes every now and then,” Leia droned on, stopping in front of a pair of two glass doors. “And here we are! The studio.”

His mother pushed open the door to reveal one of the most stunning private dance rooms Rey had ever seen. With greenhouse glass walls to the left and right and mirrors covering the entirety of the wall opposite them, Rey let her jaw drop at the sight of it. 

It’s light pine flooring was different from what she was used to at the Lincoln Center and Ben let her go as she walked further into it and let her head tilt back while a smile spread over her cheeks in awe. “This is… beautiful, Mrs. Solo,” Rey breathed out, her attention turning to the green grass outside and the wind in the trees.

“Oh god, I haven’t been called that in years. I prefer Organa-Solo if you want to stick to formalities, but for you, Leia is just fine. Feel free to use it as often as you’d like while you’re here. I’ll be around if you need me,” Leia said with a smile.

Rey ducked her head sheepishly, embarrassed at the fact she’d called Ben’s mother by the wrong name, but Leia was gone before she could say anything and Ben gave her a look that assured her it was alright. “I should’ve told you, but it slipped my mind. That’s on me, not you,” he sighed, walking over to stand beside her and look at himself in the mirrors.

“It’s alright. I think I’ll just stick to Leia,” Rey admitted with a shy laugh. Ben grinned and turned to face her, cocking his head as his eyes turned down to the ankle that was still within its brace. 

“You were limping. You alright?” he asked. The concern that washed over his face shocked Rey somewhat, still getting used to the small moments where his emotions came through, but she nodded and tapped the ends of her toes against the floor to prove it was alright.

“I could probably dance on it if I wanted to. Nothing crazy, but lame run throughs if I wanted to,” she said with a sigh. Ben pushed a hand through his hair and pointed to the ground with a sigh, signaling for her to sit while he started to make his own way to the polished flooring.

Rey followed without a word, watching as he reached out for her good ankle so he could grab it and yank her closer towards him. She squeaked at the action, but Ben just grinned to himself before he carefully picked up the injured ankle and started to undo the brace around it.

“I’ve had my fair share of ankle fuck ups… let’s see how it’s looking. If it’s purple, you’re not dancing, if it’s swollen, you’re not dancing, and if it’s bent in all weird angles, you’re definitely not dancing,” Ben teased. Rey just swatted at him to get on with it already and watched as he tugged the cast-like object off to reveal her ankle.

If anything, it was a little pink and puffy, but certainly not the worst ankle injury she or Ben had ever seen. He deflated a little and gave her a look that said he already knew what she was going to decide to do and he didn’t approve, but Rey just picked up the brace and handed it back to him with a smug smile.

“Would you be so kind as to put this back on for me and assist me back to my room so I can change, primo?” Rey asked with a faux innocence. Ben grumbled to himself and snatched the brace from her, though he was still gentle as he slid her foot back into it. 

It took Rey all of five minutes, however, to remember she hadn’t packed any dance gear whatsoever except for a sports bra as they returned to their rooms. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she groaned as she stared at the orderly stack of clothes she’d tucked away in the dresser.

“Something wrong?” Ben’s asked, his looming figure leaning against her doorway while he watched in amusement. Rey just glared at him and plucked out her sports bra before chucking it at him with a frustrated growl.

Ben just laughed and caught it with ease, holding it up to look at the skimpy black thing with another raised eyebrow. “Are we dancing in our underwear?” he satratized, tossing it back to her while she sat down on the end of the bed and stuck her tongue out at him.

“You wish, Solo. No, I forgot leggings,” she revealed with a disappointed tone. Ben just huffed and pushed away from the door before walking over to her and sticking out his hand. Rey eyed it suspiciously but he chuckled once more and leaned forward to grasp her hand for himself.

“Come on. I have extras from my high school days that will definitely fit you,” he admitted. The faint blush across his cheeks caught Rey off guard for the second time that day, but her surprise was greatly outweighed by curiosity when Ben led them towards his childhood bedroom and finally pushed inside to let her see it.

The walls were grey and all of his furniture was black, just as she’d suspected, but it was the posters on his wall that made Rey understand what he might have been embarrassed about to show her. Poster after poster of ballerinas and ballerinos lined his walls. Some were torn in places, like he’d gotten them from a magazine, while others were perfect and precise.

“Here, try these on,” Ben murmured. Rey caught the leggings at the last second, holding them up and gawking as she raked her eyes over how small they were. Ben leaned against the desk in his room and ran an awkward hand over the back of his neck while he looked away.

“Let me guess,” Rey began softly as she shucked down her joggers and started to pull on the tight black fabric meant for ballet. “You were the scrawny boy who loved ballet and had big ears in high school, hm?” Ben raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement, letting her know she was right, but he didn’t say anything about it.

Nibbling on her bottom lip while she watched him and finished her shimmying into the leggings, the temptation to say something overwhelmed her until she finally decided on trying to console him. “You’re a magnificent dancer, Ben. Whoever you were then isn’t who you are now. And whatever you’re thinking about… just let it go. You’ve come a really long way,” she told him softly.

Ben looked up at her at last and nodded at her words, pushing away from the desk before coughing and jerking his head towards her room. “Why don’t you, uh, go put on the rest of what you have and I’ll meet you back down there, yeah? Thank you… Rey,” he managed to get out.

She offered him a soft smile and turned to leave the room, closing the door behind her while she let out a tiny sigh and shut her own door once she entered the room. The sports bra was smaller than Rey remembered, however, as she wrangled the thing onto her body minutes later, its triangle cups barely covering what she already lacked.

“This is a fucking nightmare,” she whispered to herself in the mirror while she stared at her reflection. They weren’t going to be doing anything  _ overly _ exerting though, so…  _ did it really matter…? _

In the end, she found herself grumbling obscenities under her breath as she entered the training room to find Ben already warming up with a loose muscle tee on this time instead of shirtless.  _ Great, now she was the barely clothed one. _ “Wow, Niima. Never thought I’d see the day you didn’t have three layers of clothes on,” he joked, pulling his phone out to hit play and get the music going.

Rey just glared at him and growled out, “It was all I had. Shut up.” Ben chuckled at her sharp temper and shook his head, walking over to her anyway after setting his phone down like her skin was the last thing on his mind. Rey relaxed almost immediately when she realized he didn’t care about that fact at all. 

“Alright, you want to run through Act 1?” he questioned, rolling his neck while he got into position behind her and scrutinized their placement in the mirror. 

“Yeah, let’s just drop my entrance for now. Too much pointe. It’ll be easier if we just run through our parts together,” she agreed. Ben nodded and placed his hands on her bare waist, the feeling of his rough palms enough to make a soft gasp escape from her lips. Ben cleared his throat behind her, ignoring she’d done anything, and started to move slowly like they’d discussed.

It felt strange to dance without her pointe shoes on, but Rey was already pushing it with the brace around her ankle while Ben supported her effortlessly through their endless lifts and pirouettes. He was careful when he set her down, his hands nearly wrapping around the entirety of her slim waist every time, but they never left her skin.

Ben was there to hold her leg up by the inner thigh when she pointed it behind her, he was there to catch her by the back when she started to fall as planned, and he was there to grasp her by the hips when he lifted her into the air and her hands clutched his shoulders. 

Every time Rey came back to him, his hands ran over her skin in a way that was slowly descending her mind into madness. By the time they’d run through the entirety of the first act, there wasn’t an inch of skin his fingertips hadn’t been and Rey felt smothered by his touch.

She wasn’t sure what was going on with her, and the word ‘ _ crush’ _ at the back of her mind grew louder with every second that passed.  _ Fuck, she really was whipped for him, wasn’t she? _ Rey shook her head slightly and placed her hands on her hips while they took a minute to catch their breaths and calm down.

“You want me to go grab us some water?” Ben asked, somewhat out of breath as he lifted the end of his shirt to wipe off the sweat on his face, exposing the toned and pale skin underneath.

_ Jesus Christ. _

Rey swallowed thickly and nodded, turning away to sink down onto the floor while she gave him a thumbs up. He left the room without another word, only her reflection and breathing filling the empty space. “You’re an idiot, Rey, you know that?” she hissed to herself, staring at her face. 

Of course she had a crush on him. Just her luck. And this definitely wasn’t going to help anyone, especially with what had been said the day before. Angry at herself and the situation, Rey rose to her feet and started to do slow fouettes with increasing speed.

“Hey, easy!” Ben scolded when he came back into the room, tossing the water bottles on the floor and rushing over to catch her before she fell on her bad ankle. His hands were there on her waist again and they staggered back into an awkward position, her hands clutching his back while his fingers gripped her waist tightly.

“I thought we agreed to go slow?” he growled, finally stopping them before they could tumble back any more. Rey lifted her eyes to meet his, but the breath seemed to be sucked out of both of them when they realized they were just a few inches away from each other.

She took in a stuttered breath at the same time his gaze flicked down to her lips, but neither of them pulled away as Ben set his dark eyes upon her and scanned her face for something she didn’t know. “I’m sor-” 

Before she could finish her sentence, one of his hands left her waist to cradle the back of her head instead and pull her into a greedy kiss. Rey whimpered against the action, completely caught off guard, but hurriedly pushed her own hand into his jet black locks to keep him against her before he could pull away in second thought.

Ben groaned at the action and jerked her closer to him, their bodies flush against one another while they held onto each other like they were scared the other was going to step back with regret. But his lips hungrily found hers again and again and  _ again, _ their plush surface seeming to find all of the places she needed him most.

They were like a puzzle piece Rey didn’t know she’d been missing, and the pleasure that came from fitting them together repeatedly was dizzying and left her veins feeling fuzzy. When he finally pulled away to rest his forehead against hers, their eyes both remained closed as Rey slipped her hand down to clutch his neck and share his heavy breath.

“If I’ve acted out of line-” he started with a hushed voice. Rey shook her head against him and finally opened her eyes to stare into his own hazy ones, memorizing the image of his ruined lips, hooded lids, and flushed cheeks so she could have it forever. 

“No… you haven’t,” she whispered back. Ben nodded eagerly and squeezed her waist for one final measure before letting her go and stepping back. They both seemed to take a minute to reflect on what had just happened, acknowledging both of them wanted it but there was no going back now.

They’d have to go back to the company at some point, as  _ what, _ Rey didn’t know. But the tingle on her lips and the butterflies in her stomach were too good to be ignored, so she smiled to herself and pushed the thoughts of the future away. “What are you grinning about to yourself over there?” Ben questioned after a moment.

“Shut up,” Rey grumbled, biting back her grin while giving him a playful warning look. He just ducked his head in his own understanding of how she was feeling before coughing to signal he was ready to move on and start again. They could talk about it later, or do it  _ more _ later, but Rey fell back into the starting position alongside him to begin all over again with his hands on her waist.

The mirror reflected Rey’s expression, a genuine smile finally gracing her face for the first time in years.

*****

Leia eyed the two of them at dinner, but said nothing as Ben and Rey whispered every now and then and playfully nudged their knees together under the table. It had been a long time since she’d seen her son, and an even longer time since she’d seen him happy. 

She’d read the recent online ballet articles that came out about Ben letting his personal trainer go and the ones that tried to discover as much as they could about the new prima ballerina, but Leia knew something special was going on between them that no reporter could unearth. “I take it you two liked the studio today, then?” she questioned once they settled down somewhat.

The bright red blush that covered Rey’s face and Ben’s shy gaze gave away everything she needed to know, but they agreed in vague sentences and described what they’d run through without much detail. Leia didn’t question it either when they dismissed themselves only ten minutes after they sat down to eat and went up the stairs together.

And she certainly thought nothing of it when hushed laughter and the sound of shuffling feet across the hallway above from one room to another came after Leia and Han retired to bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank the LORD they finally KISSED! Hope y'all enjoyed, lol! xx


	10. Days 10 & 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoy this early upload chapter :) Lots of drama hehehe
> 
> TW: Depression, depressive episode

Rey was familiar with low days. The ones where she could barely move in bed, get up to use the bathroom, or feel the pain to eat. Those days where blinking felt like a chore and speaking was something so unfathomable to do, impossible even. The energy to breathe even asked too much of her.

That’s what Monday was.

She’d woken up beside Ben for the second day in a row, opened her phone to a flood of messages, read the article that had come out, and then promptly… sank. His breathing was still steady beside her, oblivious to what was currently being shared about her in the ballet community.

Her brain envied him for being unaware of the situation, but it only cared for a few seconds before thinking was too hard and it shut off to live in a comfortable numbness. Ben woke only fifteen minutes after Rey had become immovable, his arms wrapping around her waist to pull her slumped body against his chest, and he kissed her neck so sweet that Rey could cry.

But she had no energy to do that right then. 

When Ben finally rose a little more, peering over to catch a glimpse of her sleeping face, all adoration drained from him and he rolled her over onto her back with a concerned question of her name. Rey just stared up at the ceiling, too drained to blink and too drained to answer. 

“Rey? Rey. Jesus fuck-- mom! _Mom!_ ” Ben yelled through the house, finally getting onto his knees while his hands shook her shoulders in an attempt to get a response out of her. “Rey, sweetheart, can you hear me?” he asked, panic evident in his voice. The sound of feet racing up the stairs echoed in her ears.

“What? What is it?” Leia cried from the bedroom entrance as she barged in.

“I can’t get her to respond. Fuck, she’s barely even blinking. What do I do?” he begged, searching for an answer from his mother like he was a scared kid who didn’t know anything. 

Rey just stared at the ceiling, her bladder protesting somewhat that she hadn’t yet gotten up to relieve it and her ears whining that everything was getting too loud. She just wanted to shut down and be alone for a while. Was that too much to ask? Hands were on her face, questions were being asked, but she wasn’t there to process anything.

The word ‘depression’ and ‘episode’ registered vaguely in the back of her mind, one word from Ben and another from Leia, but it was the scramble to silence a phone in annoyance that really caught her attention.

“ _What, Poe?!_ I don’t have time for-” 

Ben’s voice was cut off at the same time one of his warm hands cupped the side of her face. He swore, Rey knew that, and then Ben was leaning across her body to find her phone and swipe the screen to unlock it. The article would be the first thing he would pull up, she also knew that.

And then… everyone left the room for a while. Ben was the last to go, his eyes coming into view with her hazy gaze, and he bent down to press a kiss against her forehead before leaving with the final hushed words, “I’ll be back in a bit, Rey. Rest.”

The funny thing about depression was that it wasn’t always an overwhelming constant. Some days, like Saturday, Rey could feel the happiest she’d ever been in a long time. And other days, like today, Rey barely felt like she existed. 

An article had been published at eight in the morning with the headline _Prima’s Past and Fraudulent Future._ Zorii had gone to the press, the one meant for dancers anyway, and had told them her wicked lie she’d created. From the idea Rey had intimate relations with Ben for the prima spot to the primo’s fiery explosion on her that Rey hadn’t witnessed, it was spewed out. 

Snoke had been included too. 

Apparently, he’d taken up research on Rey’s life in his new free time and had found out everything he needed to know as well before sharing it. The heroin abuse by her parents, the impoverished lifestyle she endured until she was eighteen, and the deterioration of her performances since she’d joined the company-- it was all there.

Everything had been tied together into one main idea: Rey came from nothing, knew she was failing, and landed herself the prima position through the only option some women felt was left-- sex.

She’d only kissed Ben. In the two days they started showing any sort of affection for each other, they’d only _kissed._

When Ben returned to the room forty-five minutes later, Leia had pulled every string she had and the article had been taken down. Rey didn’t know this, but it didn’t matter anyway. The amount of messages on her and Ben’s phone had been enough to indicate everyone who was important in their world had read it.

He sat down on the edge of the bed she was curled towards and remained there in silence for a while. Rey managed to slowly turn her gaze to his back, staring at the black fabric that covered it for a long time. “I don’t expect you to do anything today. I know you have depression, Rey,” he informed her carefully.

The last sentence alone finally brought the sting of tears to her eyes, the truth registering bluntly in her ears. But he still didn’t turn to look at her.

“I’m going to call Poe and we’re going to spend the next two weeks away… away from the company. He’s going to send us the rest of Act 1 and all of Act 2 to run through by ourselves. We can get through as much or as little as you want. We can do nothing, if that’s what you want, too,” he murmured.

Rey blinked and the first tear rolled down her cheek. Ben blindly reached behind him and found her hand without fail, clasping his palm around hers securely. “I’m not leaving you, Rey. They don’t know how hard you’ve worked and fought to be where you are. They don’t know you like I know you.

“So we can do nothing for the next two weeks if you want. I’ll defend us both if anyone tries to come after us for it. Or we can dance and act like the world doesn’t exist if you want that too. I’m not going anywhere.

“The only thing you did to earn the spot of prima ballerina was dance for me. No fake smile, no personal dancing flair added in, nothing. Just a beautiful ballerina who was quietly begging for help and I was so desperate to give it. I need you to know that, Rey. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m not giving up on you,” he finished, finally looking over his shoulder into her eyes.

They were red, like he’d been crying too, but Ben’s face was stone cold determination to make her understand his words were true. She weakly curled her fingers around his hand. 

Taking that as a sign she’d heard him and understood what he was saying, Ben swallowed hard and looked back around the room. “I gave my mother our phones. I don’t want them anywhere near us while we’re together. I swear to God, Rey, I’m going to help you get better, okay?

“Your mental, physical, and emotional health, I’m going to help you as much as I can. It pains me to see you this way. I thought… I thought something had happened to you and I was so scared, Rey. So scared. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I am… enthralled with everything that is you.

“I think about you all the fucking time. I love the way you feel against me when we dance, how your laugh sounds in my ears when I’ve managed to humor you, how you aren’t afraid to show your emotions when something really fucking hurts or really makes you happy, and how you got up every single day for _years,_ still to this day, to put on pointe shoes and dance. 

“So we’re going to get through this, Rey, just me and you. I’m not afraid to say I’ll do anything for you at this point. Eleven days since I saw your face and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. So you gotta tell me, Rey… someway or somehow… what are you needing right now?”

*****

The air outside was cold, but Rey didn’t show that she felt it when she was wrapped up in his clothes and a blanket while curled up against Ben’s body. His fingers ran soothingly through her hair as they watched the breeze rustle the trees in the backyard, small forms of wildlife appearing every now and then.

He’d carried her outside about an hour ago after managing to get some soup into her system and carrying her to the bathroom as well. Ben wasn’t an expert in dealing with depression, or people who had it, but the internet sure seemed to be. Food, bathroom, support, and going outside seemed to be the top things mentioned.

So he’d provided them to the best of his ability after the only word she’d managed to get out all day was, “You,” when he asked her what she needed. Dancing was definitely not an option and speaking seemed to be off the table too, but Ben found he didn’t mind that much.

All that mattered to him was Rey’s tiny frame in his arms and the way her face remained completely blank throughout the day. He didn’t try to force jokes on her to make her laugh and he didn’t try to get her to do things she didn’t want to do, Ben just did his best to help her survive the day in hopes tomorrow would be better.

She sniffled from where she rested, her head lazing against his chest while they swung in the hammock he’d managed to ease them into. Ben peered down at her to find she was crying again, but he said nothing and opted to wipe her tears away gently instead. He didn’t know what was going through her mind, but he figured it was nothing good.

Leia had read the article aloud to him and Han around the breakfast table before discussing what to do next, and it wasn’t pleasant in the slightest. Zorii had greatly exaggerated the lie she’d come up with on the spot on Friday as well as the scolding she received from Ben afterwards.

She made it seem like Ben and Rey had been fooling around before auditions even occurred and his choice to make her the prima ballerina in the show had been decided upon unfairly. Zorii sprinkled in disgusting and false details throughout, even going as far to say she heard them being intimate in the studio one time.

Leia had asked him if any of it were true and all he had to do was give her a pointed look that told her everything she needed to know. Apparently, Zorii had reached out to Snoke with the request he become her personal trainer, after Ben left him, and that was how this crazy mess had been conjured. 

Snoke had heard about what happened on Friday, latched onto Zorii for every detail, then did his horrible research on Rey before finalizing everything and sending it off to the first dance reporter that would publish it all. 

It had been up for only an hour and fifteen minutes at the most before Leia got involved and had it taken down. The viewing count on the article was only 79 by the time it had been deleted, but Ben knew that the majority of the readers were dancers from the company.

There was no way he was taking Rey back to that environment now. Ben could only imagine the things racing through her head; like if another article would be written, if she’d lose her job, if she’d lose respect from her peers, or if people would think of her as easy… but he couldn’t be sure.

She sniffled again and shifted a little in her curled position, closing her eyes while she fisted his shirt and tucked her head closer to his chest. An ache within his heart unlike any he’d ever experienced before made his stomach twist with anger and the desire to protect her.

Monday passed with barely any words spoken, little food in his belly, and Rey cozied up within his arms.

When he woke the next day, Rey was sitting up on the edge of the bed. Ben rose quickly, but without a word, and reached out a hesitant hand to place it over one of her own. She looked down at it over her shoulder before turning more to meet his eyes, and she greeted him with a broken, “Hi.” 

Ben wasted no time then pulling her gently into his arms, laying them back down in bed where he felt he could keep her safe from the outside world. “How are you feeling today?” he questioned softly, cupping the side of her face with worried eyes.

Rey bit her bottom lip as she always did and shrugged before resting her forehead against his. “Okay… not good, but not as bad as yesterday. I think I want to dance a little bit today. Not Manon, just… a freestyle or something,” she murmured, her breath hot against his lips. Ben nodded in agreement and brushed some of her hair away from her eyes.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Ben. You don’t have to do any of this for me. Last Tuesday, I still barely even knew you, and now… it seems like you’re all I have. If I’m too much, please tell me and I’ll-”

Ben cut her off by pressing his lips carefully against hers, nothing too passionate, but nothing overly chaste either. She sighed against his lips and melted into his touch, only pulling away when they both felt the time was right. “In all of the years that I danced with Kaydel and a hundred other ballerinas, I have never met one like you. You’re special, Rey, and I knew this from the first time I saw you,” he assured her.

The morning was easier that day. Leia had made biscuits for them and brought out one of her old outfits from when she was young for Rey to borrow while Han joined them during lunch after Rey and Ben spent some time in the hammock. 

His father’s eyes never met his own when he asked questions about ballet and the company, but Rey’s hand in his own under the table made the awkwardness of the conversation a bit more bearable. Rey stepped in a few times to talk from her point of view, letting Han know that Ben was very strong with all the lifts he had to perform, and that seemed to ease the tension as well.

And while Ben wished he could talk to his dad about tendus, pirouettes, and pliés without getting a scoff or uncomfortable reaction, he was thankful Rey had offered up information Han could be a little proud about. 

They changed into their ballet outfits after breaking away from his father and headed to the studio, Rey only inches away from him as they walked. Ben found it easy to slip his hand into hers and squeeze it without a word. He could feel her looking up at him, but he just smiled to himself and knew that sweet blush she always got would be on her cheeks even after they arrived.

His heart protested when he eventually had to let it go, but it was only to set up some classical music on his phone that they could dance to before he was coming back to her like a nail would to a magnet. “Ankle okay?” Ben asked, placing one hand on her waist and taking her hand with his other. 

Rey nodded and let herself lean against him, her head resting just below the center of his chest because he was so tall and _God,_ she was so tiny. They only swayed to the music, his chin on top of her hair, and she hummed along sometimes when she recognized a familiar piece of music.

“I saw the article got taken down,” she murmured against his chest sometime later. His heart froze a little in his chest, but he ultimately decided telling her the truth in a cautious and slow way would be better than saying nothing at all.

“Yes, that would be my mother’s doing. It was only up for about an hour yesterday. I hadn’t exactly, uh, planned to tell you but… my mother has decided to press charges against both of them for defamation of your character. Zorii might not even be with the company when we get back,” Ben admitted.

She lifted her head at that, meeting his hesitant gaze with her own wide eyes. “Is it… gonna be a big deal? Will I have to go to court and say stuff and-”

_“No._ No, sweetheart, you don’t have to do any of that. They’ll go to a court trial where a judge will hear their testimonies and review evidence and decide if they’re guilty or not. The most they’ll end up with as punishment is paying a fine and harm to their professional reputation, that’s all,” Ben assured her gently. 

Rey nodded and relaxed against him once more, his words seeming to calm her down from whatever slight panic she’d started to develop. “I’ll have to thank your mother then,” she admitted quietly against his chest. He just hummed and pulled away to spin her, tugging her back against his chest with a grin once she twirled for him.

She giggled at the action and continued to dance with him, her eyes never leaving his, until the playlist he selected came to an end and the sky outside indicated just how long they’d been swaying. A soft knock came to the door almost as soon as they broke apart and Leia peered in with a kind smile.

“Hey, you two. Everything okay?” she asked, her eyes taking in Ben before settling on Rey.

“Yeah, we’re okay. Thank you, Leia, for… handling everything that happened yesterday. I really appreciate it,” Rey spoke up as she fiddled with her fingers. Ben wrapped a reassuring arm around her waist and gave his mom a look that said _‘keep it simple’_ since he knew just how talkative his mother could be.

Leia caught on with a slight chuckle and nodded to Rey after catching her son’s drift. “Any day, sweetheart. Dinner’s ready, though, whenever you two decide to come in,” she informed them before leaving with another warm nod. 

“Alright, little ballerina, let’s go get you something to eat,” Ben teased, starting to tug her along with him in the direction of the hallway when Rey suddenly grabbed his wrist to catch his attention. He frowned in confusion and turned around, but her hands wound around his neck before he could think and her lips were on his in the next second. 

He groaned against her kiss and pulled her closer by her slim waist, loving just how small she was against him, as Rey lifted herself on her tippy toes to give him better access to her mouth. When she pulled away, Ben was embarrassed to acknowledge the slight stiffness in his pants after her spontaneity, but Rey didn’t seem to notice.

_Or if she did, she didn’t say anything._

“Sorry, I just wanted to do that really bad,” she murmured with rosey cheeks. Ben shook his head and coughed, dismissing her apology, and took her dainty hand in his giant one once more before exiting the studio. 

Dinner was composed of a beautiful piece of beef, green beans, and mashed potatoes when they sat down -- all of which Rey seemed to enjoy greatly. Ben watched her the entire time she ate, noticing the way her mood slowly improved the more she swallowed. 

Making a mental note to himself, he decided he’d start bringing snacks up to his room for her at night.

“What do you think Ben?” his mother abruptly asked. Caught off guard, and all eyes apparently on him, Ben cleared his throat and asked with furrowed eyebrows, “I’m sorry, what?”

“What do you think about going into town tomorrow with Rey? Picking up a few things for her to wear when you two decide to rehearse so she doesn’t have to wear my old fashioned leotards?” Leia explained, a teasing tone evident within her words.

Ben glanced at Rey who was now blushing and poking at one of her green beans, obviously shy when the topic of her and buying new things were combined. One small glance up at him from the corner of her eye, though, a sign she was waiting for him to say something, and Ben was agreeing fervently with a nod. 

“That sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad but fluffy too. Ben's really coming out of his shell for her, huh? Also, I brought the chapter count up to 20 but the next chapter or two will kind of be time jump-y because I don't want to spend ALL our time focused on their two weeks away when they still need to confront the company and put on the performance. xx


	11. Day 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH OH!!! IT"S SOFT SMUT TIME!!! ENJOY! xx

B y the time Friday rolled around, Rey and Ben were back in the studio full time to learn the beginning of Act 2. Her ankle hurt less and less every day and their flirtatious behavior had only gotten worse, in a good way. For one, Ben couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of her, always having to be in contact in some way, shape, or form.

As for Rey, well, she couldn’t seem to keep her mouth away from his. It felt so good to be kissed and touched and wanted for the first time in a long time. Ben had been patient with her all week after the article came out as well. They didn’t talk about it unless she wanted to and he let her feel all the emotions she needed to until she didn’t anymore.

He fed her, held her, sat outside with her, danced with her, slept beside her, kept her warm, and gave her all of his attention-- even if talking was never involved and some money was spent. Rey had never had such strong feelings for someone, but she welcomed the warmth that bloomed in her belly every single time she was with him all the same. 

Ben loved to hold her. There was nothing that made him happier than when he got to wrap his arms around her delicate frame and pull her close and kiss the top of Rey’s head. He was utterly infatuated with the woman and his mother made it known that his feelings were obvious everytime they caught each other’s eye. 

In all fairness, Ben had never seen Rey so cheerful. She smiled when she danced, her limbs were elegant and fluid instead of stiff, she laughed with a twinkle in her eye, and he even found her making up dances on the spot that were filled with joy and humor. 

Almost two weeks into knowing her and Ben was completely smitten. He sat down more often against the walls in the studio, claiming he was tired, just so he could watch her glide across the dancefloor like it was made for her. And  _ fuck, _ was Rey growing more and more beautiful, too. 

Attention, care, food, and sleep had filled out her body and added a glow to her skin. Even her hair seemed thicker and her lips pinker. 

Although, that might have been from all the times he kissed her. 

It didn’t matter.

What did matter, however, was that they’d grown incredibly close. Rey slept in his bed with him, ate meals with him, danced with him, did everything with him. They were never without each other for long and neither of them appeared to mind that fact one bit.

It was perfect.

On Friday, however, Ben was in a strained mood. He seemed to always be off a beat when they started and he was slower than usual to lift her and set her down. In turn, his frustration grew until he finally growled in anger and turned away from Rey to slam his fist into the wall behind them.

She startled at the action, her eyes going wide, but she hesitantly approached his heaving form anyway and gently took the hand he’d just punched against the wall. “Ben, don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself. What’s wrong? Talk to me,” she begged softly, reaching up to cup the side of his face and set her worried eyes upon his rage filled ones.

Ben softened at her tender words and careful hand, deflating with a sigh before he slumped down to the floor and brought her down with him. Rey moved to straddle his lap, running her hands over his shoulders only to lock them behind his neck.

“I’m not getting anything right today. I’m a fucking terrible dancer,” he grumbled miserably. Rey quickly shook her head and twirled one of his long black locks of hair around her finger as he warily looked up at her.

“We all have off days, Ben. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad dancer. You’re one of the best ballerinos I’ve ever seen. And Snoke isn’t here anymore to put you down and stress you out if you mess a few things up, I am. I think you’re wonderful, and if we try again tomorrow, you’ll get it,” she assured him.

Ben’s chocolate eyes stared up at her as his bottom lip trembled at her words, his hands settling on her hips to keep her close so she wouldn’t leave. He let out another soft sigh and let his forehead fall against her chest while she ran her hands through his hair. “Thank you, Rey,” he murmured against her. 

She just hummed and pulled his head back with fond eyes, offering him a small smile before she leaned down further and pressed her lips against his. Ben reacted almost immediately as one of his hands lifted to rest between her shoulder blades and hold her body against his. 

His tongue slipped between her lips like it had so many times over the last few days and Rey welcomed it with a soft moan, her hips canting against his and drawing a groan out of him. She grinned against his lips, dipping back down for more after drawing in breath, and blushed when the feeling of his hand on her hip crawled beneath the cropped shirt she had on.

They’d gone shopping on Wednesday for clothes like he promised, but Rey also used it as an excuse to purchase a few items of clothing that were certain to get him riled up.

It seemed her plan was working.

His fingers inched over her side, brushing against her ribcage as they went higher, and she practically mewled into his mouth when they traced the side of her triangle shaped cup. Rey arched her back into his touch, desperate for more, and it was Ben’s turn to grin against her lips in satisfaction.

“Someone’s a little needy, aren’t they?” he whispered teasingly, starting to trail his lips down her jaw and to her neck while his fingers finally tugged the cup to the side roughly. Rey jumped on his lap at the action, startled, but it didn’t take long before she was dropping her chin against her chest as his fingers rolled her exposed nipple firmly.

_ “Ben…” _ she whimpered, her cheek resting against the side of his head while he sucked dark marks into her skin. He just hummed back at her, his thumb and index finger twisting and rolling and pinching her nipple like he wasn’t driving her crazy.

The growing hardness beneath her made Rey huff out a small laugh and grip his shoulders before grinding down on his lap. Ben all but growled at the action, finally pulling away from her neck only to yank her back down to his lips by her hair. 

She moaned loudly into his mouth at the action, actually liking the small prick of pain at the base of her neck, and pushed her tongue back into his mouth while his hand under her shirt drifted to the other cup and began its torment on her untouched nipple. “I want this off,” Ben rasped.

Realizing that he meant her shirt, Rey broke away from the kiss and tugged it off of her body before reconnecting their feverish lips back together. She was working hard to rub her lower half against his swelling cock, the dance leggings he had on giving her a rather good idea at just how big he was.

She was certain he could feel how wet her cunt was becoming as well due to the fact he pressed her hips down harder against his bulge and continued to pluck at her nipples like his life depended on it. Rey had felt Ben’s length a few times during their heated makeout sessions that occurred at night, but she had never felt so close to actually… having it, as she did right now.

Ben grew frustrated with her cups and viciously yanked the sports bra down to let it snap around her waist, his mouth latching onto the first nipple that came into view. “Oh,  _ fuck!”  _ Rey whined loudly, her fingers now clutching his hair as she threw her head back and gave him better access to her tits. 

His hands kept her pressed against his cock and the wetness growing between her legs finally reached its breaking point, dripping through her cotton underwear and spandex leggings to dampen the front of his pants. “Jesus fuck…” he hissed against her skin, his hand reaching down to touch the fabric between her legs.

And he was just about to feel how soaked they were until his mother opened the door. “Hey, you two, I was just-” Leia immediately gasped at the sight and quickly turned to scurry out of the room, yelling over her shoulder,  _ “Oh my God, _ sorry! Sorry!” 

Ben pulled her against his chest, hiding her nude upper half like his mother hadn’t already seen it, while Rey’s face turned a shade she guessed matched that of a tomato. They were both panting heavily, equally turned on, but the intrusion killed all desire to continue.

It was Rey who laughed first, pursing her lips to hold it in until she couldn’t anymore. Of course, just their luck as usual, she giggled and slumped against his chest. Ben caught on after a few seconds and eventually joined in on her laughter while they rested against each other. 

“That was… something,” Rey murmured into his shoulder. Ben took in a sharp inhale and nodded, tugging her away from his chest so that he could get a full look at her naked upper half one last time before he gently helped her back into her sports bra.

“It’s probably not a great time to say you have the most amazing fucking tits in the whole world, right?” he teased. She just weakly smacked his chest and crawled off of him to fetch her shirt, ignoring the slick heat between her thighs. 

“You can tell me again later, once we’re sure we’re alone,” she shot back, giving him a playful warning eye. Ben just let his head fall back against the wall, observing Rey standing on wobbly legs and walking over to extend a hand to him. He took it after sighing and rose behind her to reassume the starting position of Act 2.

“Alright. Let’s try again, hm?”

*****

Dinner was… awkward to say the least. Leia didn’t make much eye contact with either of them and Han seemed to catch on a few minutes into their rather quiet meal. He asked, of course, how the dance was going to break the tension and if there had been any further progress in the lawsuit filed against Snoke and Zorii.

Ben had shot it down with a stern look, Leia chiming in as well, in order to protect Rey from going into another depressive episode. While she appreciated the fact that they cared about her and her wellbeing, she also  _ did _ want to know how that was going.

Would Zorii be there when they inevitably went back? Would everyone be rude and hateful towards her? She didn’t want to think about those things, but she had to. In the end, they returned to Ben’s bedroom after dinner and spoke nothing more of the case going on.

Instead, Ben turned on the shower water and raised an eyebrow in her direction along with a suggestive smirk. Rey just blushed and pushed him into the bathroom with the soft promise, “I’ll be in shortly.” The way his entire expression lit up made Rey giggle softly before he disappeared into the room.

Alright, she needed to talk to him about a few things, that was for certain. 

One, she needed to ask what was going on between them. Two, she needed to know what was going on with the lawsuit. And three, she needed to finish their short conversation about why he felt like a fuckup today.

Ben had done nothing but listen to and care for her, especially when it came to her issues with dance. It was her turn to let him talk and listen to what he had to say. She doubted she would really be able to give him good advice since she hadn’t been back in a good headspace for very long, but she’d give it her best.

So she shucked off her clothes and nervously stepped into the bathroom to see his giant form already in the shower and clouded from steam. This was the first time they’d be bathing together as well. To be fair, it was the first time he’d touched and sucked on her nipples today too, but she’d enjoyed that far too much. 

A shower with him was exactly what she was needed. 

She anxiously lifted her hand and knocked on the glass shower door, yelping when it opened quickly and pulled her in without warning. Rey stumbled and fell into Ben’s arms, his warm eyes beaming down at her while water soaked her hair and stuck the brunette locks to her skin.

“You’ve got something on your face,” he teased, his fingers reaching up to pull the tendrils of hair away so she could actually see him. Her breath left her body as she gazed upon his own wet face, the big ears she knew he had finally jutting out underneath soaked locks.  _ God, she loved his ears. _

She loved everything about him, from his sharp features to his caring personality that only came out once she got to know him. Love was a big word for her, and maybe she was using it wrong, but that’s what she felt for him as she melted into his chest and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“Hey, I wanted to talk to you about today… about what was going wrong. Is something on your mind?” Rey asked carefully, running one of her hands down his bare chest and diverting her attention to the action so she could give him privacy to think.

He just took her jaw into his palm gently and lifted her face back up before leaning down and pressing his lips tenderly against hers. When Ben pulled away, his features were calm and untroubled. “Thank you for asking, Rey. I’m okay… I just got a call from Poe this morning. We have to take promotion pictures for the show when we go back,” he revealed.

Rey bit down on her bottom lip and nodded, knowing that was something they had to do. “And that worried you?” she questioned further. Ben smiled at her, obviously appreciating the conversation they were having, but he nodded in confirmation. 

“I’m worried about you, Rey. Going back is going to be a lot for both of us, especially you. I don’t want cameras in your face to be the first thing that happens when we return. It just didn’t sit well with me this morning and I was stressed about it,” he murmured before leaning back in for another slow kiss.

She moaned softly against his lips, loving the way they fit perfectly against hers, and the wetness that built between her thighs for the second time that day certainly wasn’t from the water.

It probably didn’t help that they were nude. 

But something came to her mind that she had to get out, so she pulled away and pressed her forehead against his, looking into his eyes with as much passion as she could before admitting, “I watched videos of you when you performed in high school.” 

Ben seemed to be caught off guard, but he said nothing and waited for her to go on. Rey smiled and continued with an affectionate tone behind her words, “You were amazing even then. That was when your uncle was working with you, right? I guess what I’m trying to say is that… you should never call yourself a bad dancer.

“You were fantastic when you were young and you’re fantastic now, even without your uncle or Snoke. If you’re worried about something or don’t feel like dancing, talk to me. But don’t put yourself down. Okay?” she begged genuinely. 

He nodded and pressed a kiss against her forehead, letting his lips linger there in a silent  _ thank you _ that she knew didn’t need to be said out loud. There were other things she had wanted to talk about, but they could wait. 

For now, she just wanted to remain wrapped in his arms under the hot water. 

“I, uh… I am sorry about my mother earlier,” he finally said after pulling away. Rey blushed when he brought up the new topic and became acutely aware of the fact they were both naked in front of each other for the first time. As tempted as she was to look down and take a peek at his, er,  _ equipment, _ she couldn’t bring herself to.

“It’s okay, really. We were probably getting a little off track anyway,” Rey admitted with a slight chuckle. Ben just smirked and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her in and feel her chest against his.

“I did mean it though, about you having the most perfect little tits in the whole world,” he breathed. All humor was immediately sucked out of her when one hand snaked up her wet middle and squeezed her left breast, Ben’s thumb running over her nipple and watching it pebble at the attention.

Rey couldn’t help the whimper that fell from her lips, but Ben only took that as a sign that she was enjoying his roaming hands. “Am I doing too much? Do you not want this?” he asked in a low and serious voice, his eyes boring into hers with so much passion that Rey’s stomach flipped.

“N-no, I want this. Please don’t stop…” she managed to choke out, gasping when he suddenly pushed her against one of the walls and bent down to latch his mouth around the nipple that currently wasn’t getting any attention whatsoever. And it seemed that Ben certainly liked to babble when he was riled up.

“Fuck, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted this. You’re so perfect, Rey. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind since I first saw you. And here you are… unbelievable,” he growled out around her nipple. She whined and arched her back to push her chest further into his mouth, her fingers twisting roughly into his hair.

Although, he didn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon. Giving up on one nipple to move to the next, Ben dropped his hands and used them instead to hike one leg up so her thigh rested against his hip while the other trailed down her belly towards her pulsing cunt.

_ Fuck, she needed him. _ Rey needed him  _ badly. _ Her eyes were screwed shut in pleasure and she canted her hips in need towards the hand that was inching closer until the pads of his fingers were finally against her clit.  _ “Ben!” _ she cried loudly, her hips stuttering in pleasure when he started to swirl his fingertips around her throbbing clit.

Ben let go of her nipple at the sound of his voice and opted instead to shove his tongue into her mouth, both of them breathing heavily under the stream of the shower while they tasted and touched each other. “Please… inside,” Rey begged against his lips when her clit began to grow sensitive. 

“Yeah?” he breathed against her lips in confirmation, his eyes hazy and eyelids hooded. She nodded rapidly and tugged him back to her lips by his hair at the same time two fingers slowly pushed inside of her. 

Rey had experienced a few hookups when she was in highschool, awkward encounters for sure, but there was something about Ben’s fingers being inside of her that made everything so much more… orgasm worthy. “Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking tight,” he groaned against her lips, starting to thrust them into her clenched walls.

She nodded, both of them sharing a few breaths as they adjusted to the new feeling, but she took the time to whimper out, “It’s been a while.” That only seemed to make his eyes darker and his need greater as he crashed his lips heatedly back against hers, hard enough to bruise, while increasing the speed of his fingers pumping into her. 

The familiar feeling of an orgasm approaching tightened in her lower belly and Ben chased after it, the signs of her jerking hips, increased breathing, and higher pitched sounds only making his ministrations more focused. “Ben,  _ Ben… _ I’m gonna cum.  _ Fuck!” _ Rey whined loudly as she threw her head back against the shower wall.

All it took was his thumb against her clit and a few circles to tip her over the edge and have her cunt seizing around his fingers, a creamy white liquid drenching his hand at the same time. The shower washed most of it away while she came down from her high, Ben’s fingers still slowly thrusting into her to help her ride it out.

When her hand finally shot down to grasp his wrist and stop him, Ben gently eased his fingers out and popped them into his mouth to taste what was left. “God, you taste like heaven,” he groaned, pulling her into his body as she started to slump from pleasure.

“What… what about you?” Rey managed to get out through a slurred and dazed mouth. Ben just grinned and took her hand, guiding it to his cock which was somewhat sticky and starting to deflate. She glanced down in confusion only to see that part of the wetness in between her lower thighs was from his own cum, the act of getting her off seemingly getting him off as well.

“We’ll have to, um… do this again sometime,” she panted out with lazy but humor filled eyes. Ben just laughed and tucked some hair behind her ear, continuing to hold her up as the water cascaded down their bodies and washed off the proof of their growing infatuation for one another. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! ;)


	12. Day 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a filler chapter to get ready for sex, a bit more drama, preparing for the show, and HEA :) Hope you enjoy! xx

Tuesday came faster than Rey had anticipated. In the four days that passed, they had gotten halfway through Act 2 and Ben’s phone had been called roughly twenty times by Poe. Apparently, they were seriously needed back in the studio in order for the company to run through the motions as a whole.

And the promotional photoshoot could be pushed back no longer, of course. So it was with great sadness that Rey and Ben packed up their things and started to put them in the car that morning while Han and Leia watched from the porch. 

The amount of orgasms Rey and Ben had shared in his childhood bedroom was a rather embarrassing amount to be shared out loud, but they had yet to actually have sex. They’d talked about it in the heat of the moment, wondering if they really wanted to have their first time together in his parents’ house, and they quickly decided no.

That didn’t stop Ben from putting his fingers inside of her or Rey wrapping her fingers around his cock. Hell, she’d even managed to get the majority of him down this throat twice during their showers. It had left her with a sore throat the next morning both times, but Ben had no trouble talking for them those days whenever they encountered his parents.

To top it all off, Ben and Rey were completely falling for each other. _Hard._ When he held her at night, soft kisses and sweet nothings were shared between them while she buried herself into his chest and he wrapped his arms tighter around her.

When they danced, Ben only kept his eyes on her in the mirror, staring at her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. And the smiles that grew on Rey’s face happened only because of Ben and the way he handled her.

Ben was gentle when they danced, gentle when they touched each other, and gentle when they talked about sensitive things. He’d revealed more of his past to her during their stay with his parents and Rey began to understand more and more why he’d been so hard on himself with ballet when he was younger. 

Rey came to learn that his uncle, Luke, contributed more to his anger than his parents really had. While Ben had told her in the first week they met that his uncle taught him everything he knew, Rey hadn’t known that it wasn’t necessarily a positive experience. 

For a long time, it seemed Ben resented the fact that his mother so blindly sent him away to train with Luke. He’d felt abandoned in some sense of the word, like his mother didn’t want to deal with training him herself, so she sent him far away to the only person she knew who could.

And at first, Ben had really tried to make himself understand why she did it, but it turned into bitterness rather quickly when Luke subtly put him down for everything he did. 

To Luke, nothing that Ben did was good enough. Whether that was because he was Luke’s nephew and was held to a higher standard, or just because he was a tired old man himself, Ben didn’t know. He still wasn’t sure.

All he knew was that whenever he tried to put a piece of his unique self into the way he danced, Luke forced him not to every single time. It was always about the old methods of dancing, that ballet was meant to be, _and stay,_ classical. 

Nothing more. 

So with each day that passed underneath Luke’s critical and traditional mindset, Ben’s hatred with his parents and his uncle expanded. That was why it was so easy to go to Snoke, Ben told her. To be fair, Snoke had let him be himself when he danced, he just had to make it perfect.

And for a long time, that was all that mattered to Ben. He didn’t realize until it was too late that Ben wasn’t _really_ being himself when he danced anymore, he was being exactly what _Snoke_ wanted with the belief he was himself. Ben had told her that it was confusing, and that’s why control of his life had also become confusing.

He went into depth about why it was so hard to come back to his parents after leaving Luke, that he knew his father would still chastise him for picking ballet as a career and Leia we be overbearing due to guilt for sending him away.

But he also admitted that it was easier to be with them when Rey was there. He’d told her that was the first time he’d come home since leaving Luke and she’d eased a lot of his anxieties, even when he had to take care of her the day of her episode.

Some days were lower than others, that was for sure, but Ben was always there to pick her up when she fell, just like he did when they danced. It was easier to get in the car on Tuesday than Rey had imagined, but that was only because she knew Ben had her back like she had his.

They’d have to talk about what exactly to call the relationship that was forming between them when they returned to the city as well, though Rey had a suspicion that conversation would end just fine. 

Rey hugged both Han and Leia before they left, thanking them for welcoming her into their home, and then she was in the car with Ben as they sped off in the direction they’d been called to. He held her hand as he drove, the radio filling the comfortable silence between them, and Rey failed to acknowledge the fact she wasn’t anxious about their return at all.

Well, not until they parked the car in his apartment’s garage at least. 

“Ben, I… can we talk for a second?” Rey broke the silence before they got out of the car. She was determined to finally discuss the topic of putting a label, or not putting a label, on their romance. He frowned, but nodded and sat back in his seat while he waited quietly for her to go on.

“Before we go back, and I’ve been meaning to ask this… what are we… what should we be calling this that’s going on between us?” she stuttered out. Ben’s frown deepened and his eyebrows furrowed up in confusion. 

_Shit, did Rey think there was actually something that was going to come out of this? Was she overstepping? Did he think they were just having fun? Did he-_

“Rey, I thought it was already clear you were my girlfriend?” he cut off with a raised eyebrow and amused grin. Oh. Rey’s entire face broke out into a blush and she sucked her bottom lip underneath her teeth as she nodded.

“Okay, yeah. I-I just wanted to, you know, confirm it,” she tried to play off. Ben just ‘mhm-ed’ and gave her a knowing glance before leaning over and pressing his lips adoringly against hers. 

“Now can we go inside so that we can get changed and make it to rehearsal after lunch hour is over? My beautiful _girlfriend?”_ Ben asked teasingly. Rey agreed bashfully and slipped out of the car, her heart racing at a million miles per hour as the realization Ben Solo, primo ballerino for the NYCB, was her boyfriend. 

He dragged her upstairs with an entertained smile of his own, and Rey had a feeling he knew exactly what she was thinking even though she hadn’t said a word. “Did you want to spend the night after rehearsal, or…?” Ben asked, trailing off so as not to pressure her when they finally stepped into his somewhat forgotten place. 

“Yes, please. I’d really like that,” she all but blurted as soon as the question was asked. Ben laughed but nodded, pulling her in for a kiss on the forehead to assure her the quick reply was alright, before moving towards his bedroom with their bags.

She trailed behind him, rummaging through her bag for one of her newer outfits to tug on while Ben complained how long the photoshoots always took. “It was mainly Kaydel’s fault for that,” he began with a slight laugh. “She always had to have this certain obscure angle that could only be achieved after forty-five minutes of other poses.”

Rey chuckled along with him and ducked her head in anticipation of her next response. “I, uh… I’ve never really had my pictures taken professionally. I don’t know how long it will take,” she revealed to him. Ben simply offered her a kind smile with warm eyes and shook his head.

“You could take the entire day, Rey, and I’d still be as happy as when I got there. I’ll help you, though. I promise,” he stated proudly. Rey had to avert her gaze from him once more as she dressed so he wouldn’t see the slight wetness that had welled up in her eyes.

They didn’t take very long to change, only about ten minutes due to the fact Ben had rounded the bed and insisted on kissing every inch of her toned legs while he worked her tights up his area of focus. He stopped just before he reached where she was needing him most, but the smirk Ben gave her implied that he knew exactly what he was doing.

Now incredibly slick between her thighs and flushed with embarrassment at the knowledge her panties were undoubtedly ruined, Rey had no choice but to get back into his car and shift uncomfortably in the passenger’s seat. 

“You’re a tease,” Rey complained while she tried to find a position that didn’t cause her to make a wet noise when they ran over a bump. Ben just winked and rested a hand on her thigh, his fingers dangerously close to her cunt, while he acted like nothing scandalous was happening at all. 

By the time they pulled into the Lincoln Center parking garage, Rey was a flushed mess and her leggings were soaked through. “What am I supposed to do, Ben? Everyone’s going to know,” she whined as she looked down at the drenched fabric between her thighs.

“Know what, Rey? Come on. We don’t want to be late,” he informed her, the playful and flirtatious tone still very evident under his mock seriousness. Rey huffed and got out of the car, clutching her brand new pointe shoes that Ben had gotten her during their earlier shopping spree along with her bag of changing clothes.

He deliberately took her hand in his as well, seemingly as cool as a cucumber when they entered the Lincoln Center, and Rey’s anxiety was starting to grow within her belly. “A-are you sure you want to hold my hand?” she asked in a small voice.

Ben peered down at her and instantly caught onto her new uneasy mood, stopping them before they could enter into the hallway that would lead them to the rehearsal rooms and stage. “Hey, if you don’t want me to hold your hand or show any kind of public affection, that’s okay. I understand, Rey. Just tell me and I’ll listen,” he murmured carefully. 

She looked to her side at the set of double doors that would lead them to the rest of the company and the people who were there to photograph them for the promotional posters, and Rey came to a gradual realization. 

If they didn’t find out now, they were bound to find out later, and if they _also_ didn’t find out now, they would only suspect harder with more severity. So Rey took his hand back in hers and looked up at him with determined eyes before shaking her head.

“No, I want them all to know. Although… you might need to do the talking,” she admitted. Ben nodded and leaned down to kiss her sweetly one last time before tugging her gently towards the ballet halls. 

As they pushed through the doors, Rey’s heart was hammering inside of her ears. She’d never heard her pulse so fast before and part of her was worried that it might be a little unnatural, but she forced herself to calm down as soon as he let go and nodded in the direction of the locker rooms so they could set their changing bags down.

“I’ll see you on the stage. No one yet to worry about. And if anyone says anything, I’ll go all Ben Solo on them,” he said confidently, trying to joke with her towards the end. Rey nodded with a small smile and pushed into the women’s locker room after he officially disappeared from her sight only to regret it instantly when five pairs of eyes settled upon her. 

One of them was Rose. 

Everything turned quiet and Rey quickly averted her eyes, hurrying to her locker so she could stuff her bag inside and act like their gazes weren’t currently burning a hole into the back of her head. As expected, Rose was the first one to approach her. “Hey, Rey,” she said softly, like she was scared of spooking her.

Rey anxiously lifted her eyes to peer at Rose from behind the locker, not saying anything back in fear she’d say the wrong thing. Rose shifted and fiddled with her fingers, obviously trying to search for what to say as well. “We, uh… we don’t think it’s true,” Rose finally settled with.

“What do you mean?” Rey whispered back after a moment, stunned that she’d actually gotten something out that didn’t crack in the back of her throat. 

“I mean that none of us in the company think what Zorii said is true,” Rose clarified with a bit of a louder voice, clearly gaining some courage. Rey swallowed hard at her friend’s admittance and flicked her eyes over to the other group of girls hanging back that were listening into the conversation.

They all put forward small smiles to Rey, trying in some minor way to show her that they agreed with what Rose had told her. “And we heard about Snoke and Zorii, too. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we’re really sorry for making you feel like… like we believed you would do something like that,” Rose finished. 

Rey slowly closed her locker and moved to one of the benches to start tying on her pointe shoes. 

She’d abandoned the cast on Sunday when the pain finally disappeared. 

“Thank you for letting me know. I feel I should tell all of you that Ben and I are together, though. It really only became official while we were away but… I truly didn’t know him until I became his prima,” Rey confessed as truthfully as she could. 

Everyone shared a look between each other, but nothing was said while Rey laced herself up with the shiny ribbons Ben had gotten her additionally. Her tights were thankfully dark enough as well to hide the wetness he’d created between her legs, much to her relief. 

“Well… congratulations, Rey. I’m really happy to hear it. I can’t wait to see you dance together today,” one of the women in the group finally spoke up. Tallie, her name was. She was pretty and had one of the kinder smiles, so Rey thanked her with a slight curl of her lips and a curt nod.

Rey stood and flexed her feet, making sure everything felt right, then left the locker room without another word. 

Their words had been respectful, sure, but Rey really couldn’t bear to be around people who had talked nonetheless about what Zorii had said and most likely mulled over everything before deciding the rumor wasn’t true.

All she wanted was to be with Ben and dance like they were still at his parents’ house. 

So when Rey stepped on stage for rehearsal and found him immediately, waiting for her by the side entry, she simply slipped her hand into his and walked into the spotlight with her only focus being the primo ballerino and not the company watching.

*****

Rey winced as the costume designer snapped one of the straps onto her shoulder. The all black bodice and matching, _rather stiff,_ tutu made Rey frown since she knew her character in Manon actually wore the romantic style tutu that appeared more as a dress than anything. 

“Um, may I ask why the outfit is different from the one I’m actually wearing in the performance?” Rey squeaked out to the stylist, Amilyn, while the older woman fluffed the firm tutu around her hips. 

_Even her tights and shoes were black…_

Manon did have a sad story to it, but it certainly didn’t call for this much black on her body. _Ben would probably love it, though._ “When people who don’t do ballet think of ballet, what is the first thing that comes to mind?” Amilyn replied sharply while she worked on fitting the costume perfectly to Rey’s body.

“Swan Lake, I would think,” Rey answered, seeing where this was going.

“And when those people think of Swan Lake, do they imagine flowing gowns and loose buns? Or do they picture tutus that jut out to show long legs and slicked back hair adorned with head pieces?” her stylist questioned. Rey’s cheeks were burning, now understanding why she was in what she was in.

“The latter,” she barely whispered. Amilyn gave her a pointed expression that confirmed her message was received, then continued on lacing up the back of the bodice until Rey could barely breathe and she was deemed ready. 

Rey felt like a fucking _Barbie doll._ Her limbs were stiff from how tight all of her garments were and the sleek gel in her hair had pulled her face back so much, she might as well be plastic. She wobbled out onto the now empty stage, save for a black backdrop and the promotional crew, and spotted Ben already waiting.

Of course he looked like he was bored too, he’d only done a million of these before. But that didn’t mean Rey couldn’t admire what they’d done to him. 

For one, Ben’s entire body had been coated in some sort of oil to make all of his muscles pop and the black leggings he had on were certain to be a size too small which meant… 

Rey’s flush deepened as she set her gaze upon the rather prominent bulge in the front of his tights. Ben’s hair was slick with gel like hers was, but his wavy black locks remained perfectly in place so as not to be jostled with posing. And as soon as his eyes caught her rigid body moving into the spotlight, they never left.

He looked at her like he was hungry, ready to pounce on his prey even though Rey felt anything _but_ sexy with how she was waddling over to him. “You look absolutely stunning,” Ben murmured into her ear as he took her hand and walked with her to the center of the backdrop floor.

“I feel ridiculous,” she whispered back. He chuckled and placed a giant hand atop her incredibly cinched waist and nudged her to look at the cameras that were already primed to start. 

“If it helps, you don’t look ridiculous,” Ben began, his mouth still close to her ear and his hot breath raising the hairs at the back of her neck. “You are the most divine ballerina I have ever seen in my entire life.” 

If there hadn’t been pounds of makeup on her face, Rey would certainly be a tomato at his sensual comments.

The promotional staff directed them on how to pose as the minutes ticked by, their hands angling her every ligament until she was perfect to them. Of course, they did nothing to Ben considering he was already familiar with each pose they wanted. 

“And now, uh, lift that leg behind you?” the director called as they moved to a new position. Rey huffed and did as they asked, sickling her foot and straightening her leg perfectly while she held onto the back of Ben’s shoulders. “Right, now wrap your arms around his chest. Hang them around his collarbones,” the man continued. 

Rey struggled to get what they wanted, dropping her leg and lifting it numerous times as they told her to inch this way and that way and tilt her head down or raise it higher. Ben could tell she was getting frustrated, so he took her left arm gently in his grasp and pulled it over his shoulder so her front was flush against his back.

“Now drape that hand right here,” Ben instructed in a hushed manner, placing it just before where his own hand gripped her forearm. “Good. Now go up on pointe with your right leg and lift your left leg straight back, slightly lowered.” 

Rey followed exactly what he said, watching out of the corner of her eye as he extended his own left leg forward into a perfect point while dropping his left arm to follow the curve of her arched wasit. “Perfect! That’s exactly it!” the director cried in ecstasy. 

Rey had a hard time trying not to smile after that. 

By the next morning, when she woke up in Ben’s arms in his comfortable bed completely naked and content, the promotional poster had been spread everywhere online. This time, instead of falling into a depressive episode after her morning discovery, Rey cuddled back into Ben’s arms with complete and utter bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and hope you liked it! xx


	13. Day 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL ABOARD THE SMUT TRAIN, CHOO CHOOOOOOO!

“You looked beautiful in your costume,” Ben murmured from beside her, his hand wrapped around hers over the console of the car. Rey blushed at his kind words and ducked her head down to her chest.

“You always look good in your tights,” she returned. Ben laughed somewhat at that and Rey realized that  _ tights _ maybe wasn’t the word he expected her to use for her compliment. “Well it’s true! I mean, you can practically see every muscle underneath the fabric, it’s insane!”

Ben just nodded along with an amused grin and squeezed her hand in reassurance. They were driving back to the Lincoln Center for another day of full company rehearsal and private practice. There were really only three and a half weeks left now until the performance, and considering the two of them had been gone for one of the weeks allotted to them, they had quite a bit to do.

The nerves were also starting to build in Rey.

She’d only ever been a background dancer during these performances, someone the audience spared a glance to when nothing exciting was happening for a moment. It was always her and Rose who laced up their shoes together behind the curtain and fixed each other’s costumes and hair.

Now… she was going to have a professional staff making sure she looked flawless and her boyfriend calming down her nerves before they moved under the spotlight. 

_ What if she froze up and forgot what to do? What if, on opening night, she completely fucked it up and no one ever came to watch them again? _   
  


“Rey? You’re worrying. What’s going on in that head of yours?” Ben asked with another subtle tug on her hand. She looked over to the perfect primo sitting beside her and felt her gut sink even more. He’d never ruined anything in all of his years at the NYCB Company.

She’d danced in his limelight for so long, watching how every move he made was immaculate and precise. Rey would be relying on him to guide her through this, she realized, not herself. “Rey. Come on. You’ve got lines in your forehead, what’s wrong?” Ben pushed.

He could already read her so well.

His chocolate colored eyes came back into focus and Rey shook her head a little to rid herself of the intrusive and anxious thoughts. “What if I mess up on opening night and no one ever wants to come back to watch it?” she questioned, her voice so soft spoken, she was afraid that maybe he didn’t hear. 

Ben pulled into the parking garage and found an open spot before he turned to her and assessed her face. “Rey, you’re not going to mess up. You forget we still have roughly four weeks to master this, and that means countless hours in private practice rooms and company rehearsals. 

“From what I’ve seen so far, how much you’ve improved over the past two weeks, I know you’re going to outshine everyone on that stage once the time comes. You need to give yourself credit where it’s due, Rey. You’re a phenomenal ballerina and I’ll tell you every day if that’s what it takes for you to start believing in yourself,” he told her.

She sniffled at his words and nodded, leaning over to give him an appreciative and short kiss before pulling away with a slight smile. “Alright… you’re right. I know you’re right. Sometimes I need to hear what you just said every now and then,” Rey agreed.

Ben grinned at her and lifted the back of her hand to his lips to leave a kiss there before dropping it and exiting out of the car. Somehow, he always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. 

Rey had shown him the poster that she woke up to that morning as well, practically jamming it into his face with a toothy smirk that highlighted just how excited she was for it. It was safe to say the makeout session that followed almost,  _ and really almost, _ turned into morning sex.

But he pulled away with a groan when the alarm went off and growled out, “Later,” with warning eyes as he tugged himself out of bed. Rey didn’t really know when  _ later _ would be, but she was certainly looking forward to it. Her dreams had been plagued with dirty thoughts and images, naked skin and loud moans and filthy words, but her needs would be relieved soon. 

Or, well, later. 

Rey hopped out of the car and took her bag from him when he handed it off to her, the heavy weight happily taken on by her shoulder when she slung the strap over it. “How was everyone yesterday? I don’t think I asked,” Ben brought up when they walked inside.

“Rose talked to me. She let me know they didn’t think it was true, what Zorii said. There were a few other girls who backed her up so I think everyone kinda feels the same, but it was still a little tense during practice when I had that one part with all of them,” Rey informed him.

Ben nodded along and sighed, opening a door for them, before continuing on. “Yeah. I had the chance to talk to Poe and Hux and Finn, the usual guys you know, and they told me none of them believed it either. Zorii actually got dismissed from the company, that’s what Poe said.

“And as for my former coach… no one really knows what he’s up to. My mother promised to keep me in the loop as well for the court trial, but it seems like it’s going exactly as you’d expect. They’ll probably have to pay the fine like we talked about and then they’ll disappear with a shot reputation,” he explained.

Rey nodded along and paused outside of the women’s locker room once they reached it. “You really think they’ll just… go away like that?” she asked anxiously. Ben reached out to cup the side of her face and give her a reassuring smile. 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, sweetheart. It’s okay now. I promise.” 

*****

Rehearsal went by without a hitch, for the most part. They ran through the entirety of Act 1 and 2, then did it two more times in order to perfect every single flawed detail Poe could find. By the time they were finished, Rey was coated in a thin layer of sweat and her breathing was erratic. 

Even Ben seemed shaken from his usual composure.

“Alright, thanks for a good group rehearsal today. Break off to private rooms and let’s get started on Act 3!” Poe called out to the company, picking up all of his clipboards and papers before heading off stage to go work with the first group. 

Ben walked over to Rey and extended a hand to her, lifting her up from the ground, before laughing at her appearance. “Too many grand jeté’s and pirouettes? Looked like the arabesques got you too,” Ben teased. 

Rey just grumbled and shoved his side, walking beside him slowly as she tried to regain her composure. “I don’t think we’ve ever had a rehearsal like that before,” Rey pointed out on the way to their private practice room.

“It’s just because the company didn’t get back together until this week, really. He worked us hard today to make sure we all knew what to do as a whole instead of piecing together the separate things we all learned,” Ben explained. She nodded along and held open the door for him, following in after his looming form.

The automatic lights flicked on and the wall of mirrors greeted their reflection, hidden behind the barres that ran along the length of it. “I need to stretch. Jesus…” Rey huffed, heading over to the barre before swinging one leg up onto it. 

Her muscles sighed with relief when she bent over and rested her head on her folded arms, allowing some form of relaxation to wash over her.

Ben laughed and took the open spot beside her to stretch out his own legs from the intense workout they’d gotten. “There’s something sexy about how flexible you are,” he pointed out cheekily. Rey just shot him a playful glare and shook her head.

“Every ballerina is flexible, Solo, not just me,” she groaned. When his weight suddenly left the barre beside her and his hands encircled her waist instead, Rey’s breath caught in her throat and she nervously glanced up at their reflection in the mirror.

His dark eyes were already on her and Rey bit into her bottom lip while he arched over her and moved her long hair to the side before peppering the back of her skin with kisses. “Not every ballerina is you, though,” he murmured sensually. 

The involuntary whimper that slipped out of her throat made Rey blush, but she did nothing else in fear it would stop him. “I-is it later?” she asked cautiously. He just smirked and nodded without a sound.

Ben’s fingers found the strap of her leotard and gently tugged it down to the side of her arm, his plush lips finding the warmth of her bare shoulder and making a home there. Rey could feel his teeth and tongue, but she remained still like a lion would when stalking a gazelle. 

And when the other strap was tugged down, Ben leaning over her more to the point she was completely trapped against the barre, Rey finally accepted exactly what his intent was. “Will someone hear?” she asked through a dazed whisper.

Rey could feel Ben’s grin against her arm, obviously amused at the question, but the hand that had found her second strap only continued to drag it down with painful ease. He was teasing her, she found-- taking his time. 

The tight elastic at the top of her leotard pressed against the swell of her breast and,  _ oh, _ how she ached for it to finally snap over and let her pebbled nipple fall out. But Ben kept it there while he left a trail of dark marks along the back of her arm and shoulder blade.

Rey’s uneven breathing had morphed into hot gasps, the mirror in front of her fogging up due to proximity and temperature. “I don’t know how… but you always taste so fucking sweet on my tongue. Even after dancing for hours, you remind me of fruit in the summer,” he mused.

His analogy made something swirl deep inside of her belly and a shaky, and rather breathy, moan finally escaped her lips. Ben smiled once more and finally relieved her straining breasts of their confinement with a swift tug down followed by the roughness of his palm moving between the two of them.

“Oh,  _ fuck…” _ Rey hissed, letting her eyes close and her forehead fall against the mirror while the pads of his thumb ran over the stiff peaks. Ben pinched and rolled and brushed over them, driving her positively mad, and Rey couldn’t help it when she bent further at an angle to press her ass against the bulge through his leggings.

“Impatient?” Ben teased through a question. She whimpered when he nipped at her skin and pushed her hair away from her neck once more, moving the torturous trail of kisses across her now bare back to the other untouched side. 

Rey knew by now that Ben was a big man. From his arms to his chest to his legs to his cock, Ben was massive. But to think that this could finally be the time she felt him inside of her, Rey couldn’t help the excited rush of butterflies pour into her stomach. 

His free hand continued to roll her leotard down until it scrunched around her waist and Rey huffed when he pressed the warm palm of his hand to her quivering stomach instead of going lower. “You’re a tease,” she snapped as she brought her stretched out leg back down to the floor, though her lack of breath lessened the bite of her words.

Ben sucked a particularly dark mark into the side of her neck at that and pinched her left nipple for further punishment at her words, eliciting a delicious squeak from her. “What do you want me to do, Rey?  _ Hm? _ Tell me,” he growled against her neck.

Rey hesitantly opened her heavy eyelids and found that his darkened gaze was already staring at her face in the reflection, his fingers expertly plucking at her nipples to the point of soreness. The wet heat that flooded the scrap of fabric between her legs was embarrassing, but she needed the ache to be taken care of sooner rather than later. 

So, without shame, she stuttered out, “I-I want you to fuck me, Ben.” His hands were at the leotard around her waist in an instant, and before she could even register what he was about to do, her body was stripped of the spandex and left bare before him.

Bent over and now only in pointe shoes, Rey gasped and went to straighten herself out against the barre.  _ “No.  _ Stay right there, sweetheart,” Ben asserted, his voice gruff with lust. She watched as he palmed himself through his leggings and studied her completely naked body, the look on his face filling Rey with a small sense of pride.

He liked her. He chose her. He  _ wanted _ her. 

Ben finally pressed himself back against her ass and reached down with one hand to grab the leg that hadn't been stretched only to jerk it up and set it along the length of the barre.  _ “Ben!” _ Rey yelped, her entire face turning red when her aching cunt was spread open before him. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re so beautiful,” Ben groaned. He was on his knees then, like a man begging for forgiveness, and his mouth delved into her sopping wet folds before she could even catch her breath. Rey choked on her air and gripped the barre with white knuckles, her toes flexing within her stretched pointe shoe.

He swirled and sucked and lapped at her throbbing clit, working at it like he knew her own body better than she ever had. “Oh my god…” Rey whined, unabashedly pushing her drenched core into his face which earned her a pleased moan in response. 

Ben’s fingers came next, two of the devilishly long and thick digits sinking into her sensitive walls with no resistance at all. “Such a good girl,” Ben murmured against her cunt in admiration as he watched the two joints enter and withdraw, soaked, from her tight heat. 

Before she could beg for more, Ben’s lips were latched back around her clit and sucking it into his mouth while his tongue lapped at the slickness that dripped out of her around his fingers. Rey could feel her first orgasm coming when the muscles in her lower belly quivered and tightened with heightened feeling every second.

Ben seemed to sense it, the thrusts of his fingers into her quierring walls resulting in the most lewdly wet sounds filling the room until Rey loudly gasped,  _ “Ben!” _ Her thighs trembled around her face and her hips bucked, trying to both get away and get closer to him while he worked her through her climax.

“You need to be quiet, sweetheart. You don’t want someone coming in here and seeing me fuck you, do you?” Ben asked as he withdrew his mouth and fingers from her cunt, bringing himself back to his full and intimidating height behind her. Rey shook her head while she shivered and tried to catch her breath as he examined her face.

“You look a little flustered there… should I stop?” Ben questioned, though she knew full well he was just teasing her and wanting to hear her plead for him.

“N-no! Please don’t,” Rey quickly cried out. He smirked at the response he’d been looking for and cocked his head to the side as he pushed his thumbs into the waistband of his leggings and started to drag them down his muscular thighs. Rey swallowed and watched with wide, anticipatory eyes.

His cock sprang free as soon as it was freed from the restrictive fabric and the throbbing red tip at the very end of his length slapped his stomach once before evening out in front of him. 

_ She all but gulped at the sight.  _

“I want you to do something for me, Rey. Since you’re such a good ballerina, I want you to go on pointe. Right now, for me,” Ben demanded. She raised her eyebrows at his desire, not sure if her weak leg could actually support her after the orgasm she’d just endured, but she nodded shakily anyway and slowly brought herself up to the pointe position.

Sure enough, her calf and thigh quivered with exertion, but the sight of Ben stroking his cock appreciatively behind her only made her want to please him more. 

“You  _ are _ a good girl, sweetheart.  _ Very good. _ Now bend over for me and stick that perfect ass of yours out,” he praised, his voice a loud rumble in the back of his throat.

Once more, Rey did exactly that and let her lips part to pull in breath when Ben advanced and pressed his broad chest against her back. His mouth found the marks he’d left behind earlier and sucked on the stimulated skin while he dragged his cock between her sopping wet folds.

The throbbing tip she’d stared at when he pulled his pants down now caught on her clit a few times, making her whimper and jump from sensory overload, but when it finally pressed against her pulsing entrance, Rey held her breath.

“Breathe, Rey. I want you to feel it,” Ben whispered into her ear. She found his eyes in the mirror at the same time he slid home, his cock burying itself inside of her from the ease of her arousal alone. Rey had to slap a hand over her mouth to hide the loud whine she let out, her leg on pointe nearly giving out.

“There you go. Easy, sweetheart…  _ shit, _ you’re so tight,” Ben groaned when he finally bottomed out inside of her. Rey fought to catch her breath as pleasure coursed through her veins and the feeling of being absolutely stuffed swarmed her senses. 

She’d never in her life had anything as big as Ben inside of her, and the fullness was as much a comfort as it was a discomfort.

Ben kissed her skin and remained still as he let her get used to him, though the clenching of her cunt around his length and the throbbing of his cock inside of her didn’t seem to do either of them any favors. “Y-you can move.  _ Please,” _ Rey begged softly. 

He dragged the entirety of himself out of her before thrusting back in, sending her body roughly against the barre while she gasped and clutched the railing for support. One of his hands found her hair and he grabbed onto it tightly in order to keep her head up and their eyes connected.

Rey had never felt so exposed,  _ yet so aroused, _ in all of the years she’d walked this earth.

“Look at yourself. Look at how fucking sexy you are… tight little cunt wrapped around me and sweet tits bouncing in the mirror. So beautiful,” Ben pointed out gruffly. Rey had heard dirty talk before, but his words sent a rush of ecstasy straight to her clit and had sounds she’d never heard herself make before spilling out of her mouth. 

He pummeled into her, sweat starting to glow on their skin under the bright lights from exertion, but the feeling of having her inner walls get absolutely ruined by Ben only sent slick dripping down the inside of her thighs faster. Ben found her clit with his free hand before she could even do it herself and Rey shrieked out,  _ “Fuck, _ Ben,  _ please!” _ at the connection.

He dove into the side of her neck, licking and sucking and marking her as his while his cock abused her cunt and forced her to stay on her trembling pointe shoe. “I’m gonna cum…  _ I’m gonna cum…” _ she babbled, completely driven out of her senses as they stared at each other in the mirror and watched their bodies collide again and again. 

He used her so perfectly, Rey knew sex with any other man would be ruined now should she never have Ben again. The rough pads of his fingers worked hard circles into her sensitive nub, and when she finally found her peak of pleasure yet again, she all but crabumbled against the barre and let him fuck her spent body.

Ben let go of her hair and grabbed her face carefully instead, bringing it back up so she could stare into his wild eyes while he chased his own orgasm. All it took was a soft whimper of,  _ “Ben…” _ for him to drive all of himself inside of her and fill her with his cum. 

She could feel him pulsing inside while he struggled to bring in ragged breath, but they collapsed on one another against the barre for support and remained like that until his cock twitched with finality and her foot on pointe gave out. 

Ben was there to catch her when she fell, just like he did when they danced, but it was the heat on their cheeks and the feeling of their mixed spend between her thighs that made all the difference this time around.

  
And it was  _ perfect. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! I'm not the best at smut, but I definitely tried my best :) xx


	14. Day 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)  
> It's kinda been a rough week, so I apologize if this chapter isn't up to standard, but I wanted to get something to y'all xx

Rey woke with a content sigh, snuggling up to the warmth that crowded her from behind. A heavy arm was draped over her waist and she could feel the tickle of breath on the back of her neck, but she simply curled deeper into the embrace and the fluffy sheets. 

“You’re moving around too much,” Ben’s grumpy morning voice huffed in her ear. She giggled at the sentence, knowing that he was usually somewhat irritable whenever he woke up early, but she loved it all the same. 

They were officially halfway through rehearsals for the show and they were now trying to sleep as much as they possibly could, constantly exhausted with aching feet and sweaty hair.

Poe had called for longer hours, just so the company could run through whatever they’d learned for the day as a whole, which left both Rey and Ben winded by the end of it all. They usually drove home in silence, somehow too tired to even listen to music, but they both seemed happy to just have each other during the ride.

Rey hadn’t been back to her apartment since she packed everything up so long ago to stay with Ben, and eventually his parents. In fact, it had been Ben who went back to her place to grab the rest of her things in case Plutt was waiting around. He didn’t tell her if the gross man was, but Rey didn’t really mind in the end.

To be fair, if she wasn’t even around, what could he really do about the money she ‘owed’ him? Ben had told her again and again after he went to collect the things she needed most that she didn’t owe him anything at all, that it was supposed to be his job as a guardian to take care of her without anything paid back, but it took her a while to finally accept that. 

Ben had also been nothing but patient with her since she started staying with him. Rey wasn’t really sure if she’d…  _ moved in _ or not, but it was just another one of those things they went along with without really going into depth about it.

He wanted her to stay, she wanted to be with him, so that’s how it was. They made dinner together, bathed together, danced together, slept together, and certainly only had sex together. Fuck, the amount of sex they’d had since their risky first time in the studio was a rather ungodly amount.

Ben had fucked her in the shower with her bare breasts pressed up against the cold tile walls, he’d bent her over the kitchen table and taken her hair in his hand while the other wrapped around her throat, he’d disheveled the sheets in their bed too many times to count, and she’d even been brave enough one night to take control and ride him on the couch.

Rey was drunk off of him and Ben was drunk off of her-- that was the easiest way to put it. They fed off of each other’s moods and knew which days were meant for gasping moans and sweaty bodies and which nights were meant for sweet nothings and warm cuddles. 

She’d never been so happy and content. In fact, Rey hadn’t really had a depressive episode or thought in a rather long time. That being said, she didn’t attribute her newfound happiness to the growing relationship she was in, no.

She attributed it to the fact that Ben supported her, encouraged her, and helped her find her own sense of self and belonging. When Rey felt brave enough to try something new in the way she danced, Ben just nodded with a smile and urged her to pursue it. 

When she grew anxious over new things to learn, worried she’d fail, Ben asked her to remind herself of how far she’d come. And when Rey had days where she simply felt like pouring everything she had into her work, not wanting anyone to ruin her mood, Ben just matched it quietly with his own and let her feel how she wanted.

Rey was completely and utterly happy. Life felt wonderful when she had someone by her side who was on  _ her _ side, for lack of a better expression. 

Ben grumbled once more behind her when she nudged her feet against his under the crisp sheets and she laughed once more at the irritated sound. “It’s Saturday… we don’t have to go into the studio today,” she said teasingly, trying to lure him out of his slumber so he’d give her attention. 

“Then why are you up at 10?” he just murmured back through the layers of fabric his face was buried into. Rey sat up and glanced over her shoulder at him, grinning from ear to ear when she found him face down in his pillow, not even worried about the fact he could suffocate if he wasn’t careful. 

“Because I want to spend my day with you. Why else would I be up so ‘early’?” Rey shot at him, humored at the fact he found 10 am  _ early. _ Ben finally turned his face in the fluffy object underneath him and peeked up at her through one cracked open eye. 

Rey didn’t budge. 

With another huff of breath, Ben finally rolled over and ran his hands down his face as a sign he was willing to wake up just to be with her. Rey bit her lip and let her eyes drift over the muscled planes of his abdomen, a warm heat already building so early in the morning between her legs.

Leave it to the handsome ballerino to get her all hot and bothered in the morning, even after they’d had rough sex in the shower the night before. Ben seemed to sense her new arousal and reached out to pull her naked body against his with a smirk. 

Rey couldn’t even defend herself before his lips were upon hers.

*****

“Ben, I already  _ have _ new leotards,” Rey whined behind him as they headed through the busy streets of New York in the direction of OnStage Dancewear on Madison Avenue. 

“Mmm, you don’t have new tights though,” he pointed out, gripping her hand so they could stay together while they wove through the endless bodies of people headed to God knows where. It had been his idea to go shopping, explaining that he really did need new shoes and leggings himself, but then he also started bringing up what he could get her.

They’d only gone shopping a little over a week and a half ago when they were at Han and Leia’s, but Rey let her boyfriend drag her to the store anyway since he seemed so excited to go. 

_ She had no idea Ben liked shopping for himself, but he always did wear such nice things so was she really surprised? _

“The tights I have are fine! I’ve got two pairs of light pink and tan ones,” Rey informed matter-of-factly, letting him tug her along anyway. Ben just rolled his eyes and turned the corner to Madison Avenue, the store already in sight and just a few paces away. 

“You don’t have black ones,” Ben countered. Rey just growled and finally gave in as they reached the entry of the shop, much to her dismay. Perhaps she could hide herself behind one of the clothing racks so he couldn’t find her? Oh, what was the use. He’d find her anyway. 

The heat from inside OnStage was a welcome one compared to the chilling winter winds ravaging the city outside, the icy air stinging her cheeks and making her nose run if she was honest. Rey couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief at the feeling and willingly followed Ben this time towards the aisles with all of the tights and leggings. 

They browsed for a little while, teasing each other by holding up some of the bolder legging options and saying the other would look good in them. When Rey held up a neon pink pair of men’s leggings, Ben just blushed and tried to get her to put them away as she held them up to his lower half with vengeance and a giggle. 

He eventually wrangled her into a pair of solid black leggings, nodding with approval at the outcome, but Rey found a soft grey pair that she also liked. Ben, of course, added it to their small shopping basket without another thought.

“Alright, I’m going to go try these on. You sure you’re okay out here?” Ben asked as he started to pull back in the direction of the dressing room. Rey nodded and gave him her most reassuring smile, shooing him with her hands and watching him leave after accepting her wordless promise. 

She slowly moved around the store, letting her fingers run over all of the fancy leggings and pointe shoes and leotards until she found herself standing in the tutu section. It had been such a long time since she’d actually worn a stiff pancake-style tutu, probably a year or two, but she loved to admire them anyway.

Rey’s tutu for the production would be a romantic style, the long kind that fell to about mid calf, and while she loved that kind, she had yet to practice in it for Manon. Some small part of her wished she really was wearing that black bodice and stiff tutu they’d given her for the promotional pictures.

“Well, well, well… look at who it is,” a cold voice spoke up from behind her. Confused, Rey turned around with furrowed eyebrows only for her entire face to drain of color at the woman now looming in front of her. 

Zorii stood only a foot away with her hands clenched into fists by her sides, a dangerous look glimmering in her eyes. 

“Z-Zorii… what are you…” Rey couldn’t even complete her sentence. She hurriedly glanced towards the dressing rooms, hoping Ben was almost done so he could come out here and save her from what was about to happen, but the dressing rooms remained closed against the wall. 

“You know you ruined my life, don’t you? That I can’t get a job anywhere professionally so now I have to teach fucking  _ toddlers _ how to do ballet? I can’t afford to pay the rent for my apartment and I’m about to get kicked out because I don’t have a job where I make as much anymore,” Zorii seethed.

Rey swallowed hard and tried to think of what Ben would say in a situation like this. He’d probably tell her to stand up for herself, be brave, and recognize her worth compared to those who had tried to tear her down.

“No one forced you to say that accusation about me, Zorii. No one made you say that I slept with Ben for the prima spot. You knew me… you knew that I’d only ever danced behind the spotlight and barely spoke to anyone besides Rose. But you said it anyway. You did it to yourself,” Rey defended as unflinchingly as possible.

The rage that flared up in Zorii’s eyes made Rey stumble back into the wall of tutu displays and clutch at her fingers. “You little  _ bitch. _ You ruined my goddamn life and it’s  _ all _ your fault! It should’ve been me in the fucking prima spot, not you! You aren’t even a good dancer, Rey! You’re fucking  _ terrible! _ He probably only chose you out of pity, you know that?

“God, the way you danced that day, all teary eyed and woe-is-fucking-me. I’d say I was impressed by how easily you got him to fall for your shitty act, but now I’m just-” A large hand on her shoulder tugging her away from Rey’s trembling form shut Zorii up almost instantly.

The dark eyes of Ben burned into Zorii’s face and even Rey shivered a little at the severe intensity of it, silently thankful for Ben’s involvement. “I thought I told you the last time we spoke to never bother her again,” Ben practically growled as he moved to stand beside Rey and loop a protective arm around her waist. 

Zorii narrowed her eyes at the action and gave a huff of disbelief, a half amused- half incredulous smile on her face while she looked at them. “So I was right, then. You  _ are _ fucking,” she stated bluntly.

Rey tucked herself into Ben’s side, no longer wanting to be the one to speak as a flood of self doubt and embarrassment washed over her mind. “We’re  _ together,  _ yes. But we didn’t become a couple until after you took your bullshit to the media. Until that happened, Rey and I were partners in dance and that was it.

“Afterwards, we had to rely on each other and we grew close. Rey is my girlfriend, I’m proud to say it, and our sex life is only ours to know. Now, do you want a repeat of what happened the last time we found ourselves in an accusatory position like this, or are you going to leave us the fuck alone?” Ben bit out. 

Zorii shut her mouth and looked between them a few more times in bewilderment before sneering in defeat and turning away with muttered curses under her breath. As soon as she was out of the store, obviously ditching whatever she’d come in for, Ben turned to Rey and gently took her shoulders.

“Hey, Rey, look at me. Are you alright? What did she say before I came over here?” he rushed out in gentle concern, his eyes filled with worry while Rey tried to dampen how red her face had gotten from the confrontation. 

“I’m okay, yeah… she just… she just told me I ruined her life and that I’m a terrible dancer and that you chose me as your partner out of pity. I don’t believe anything she said, don’t worry, I just… wasn’t expecting to see her and be called out like that today,” she admitted through shaky breath.

Ben nodded and pulled her in for a tight hug, letting her know without words that he was there to support and validate her feelings if he needed to. Rey simply let out a shudder of a breath and wrapped her arms back around him. “Can we go home?” she muttered into his jacket.

“Yeah, sweetheart. Let’s checkout and we can go straight home. I promise.” 

*****

Ben handed her the cup of hot chocolate she’d wanted and sat down beside her in the studio within his apartment. Rey had asked if they could quickly run through the Acts they knew so far so she could blow off some steam and Ben had happily agreed when they returned home. 

She’d performed flawlessly, allowing herself to see for a fact that Zorii was wrong when she’d called her a terrible dancer. Maybe Rey had been a poor performer before Ben truly came into her life, but she wasn’t anymore. If anything, Rey had found that old spirit she had within her when she was younger again. 

“You did amazing today,” Ben even told her as he started tugging off his shoes carelessly. 

“Thanks, I really tried,” Rey agreed with a smile. The hot chocolate was just on the edge of burning ability when it met her tongue, but she sipped it down anyway and watched Ben move on to her own pointe shoes and begin unwrapping her ribbons.

“You know, I was actually going to surprise you earlier after we left the store, but I figured it probably wasn’t a good idea after our run in,” Ben started, keeping his eyes trained on her feet. Rey frowned at the ominous sentence and nudged him with her leg to continue going.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard of Arch Ballet, they’re a bit of a smaller company here in New York, but they’re running a production of Romeo and Juliet right now and I, uh… kinda got us tickets to go see it… tonight,” Ben clarified. 

He sat back up after he finished with her shoes and finally,  _ nervously, _ met her eyes. “We don’t have to go, considering what happened today, but I just wanted to let you know in case-”

“Yes, I’d love to go,” Rey cut in with an admiring smile. The relief that washed over Ben’s face was immediate and the toothy grin he flashed her made Rey’s heart skip a beat inside of her chest. “When do we need to start getting ready?” she asked as she rose to her feet and extended a hand to him. 

“Oh, well, uh… it’s actually a bit early. It starts at six and it’s… three right now, so… probably now?” Ben stuttered out, trying to make sense of the fact she’d actually agreed to go to the ballet with him. Rey tugged him up to a standing position and started to pull him in the direction of their bedroom with a smile.

“Well, we could always share water and get ready at the same time, couldn’t we?” she asked with a teasing voice. Ben didn’t hold back his smirk at that and abruptly swept her off of her feet, chuckling when she squealed at the sudden action and wrapped her arms around his neck as an extra means not to fall.

“You know, I  _ love _ the way you think,” he told her smugly. Ben tossed her onto the bed and grabbed her leggings, slowly working them down her tanned and lithe legs while Rey whimpered and let him without any protest. 

He’d managed to hook into the waistline of her panties as well, and when he finally pulled both of the articles of clothing off her lower half, he raked his eyes over her.

“As many times as I see this pretty pussy of yours… it never gets old,” Ben stated gruffly. Rey bit down on her bottom lip and sat up to pull off his shirt she’d been wearing, leaving her body completely naked and exposed in front of him while he towered over her.

“Your turn,” she whispered to him. Ben cocked his head to the side and made quick work of removing his shirt before starting to tug off his own leggings, though it was a tad bit harder for him to do it since his legs were bigger and filled with muscle. 

_ But Rey ogled him all the same as pale and defined skin crept into view with each pull down. _

When both of them were nude, Rey rose to her feet and took his hands, leading them into the attached bathroom with flushed cheeks and an amused grin. This had to be the first time in a while they hadn’t jumped each other’s bones as soon as they were both stripped of their clothes.

It was Ben, however, who stepped past her and started up the shower so she didn’t have to brace the first jet of cold water, but Ben seemed less than bothered as he stood under its chilling stream. “Alright, it’s hot, get in here,” he growled teasingly. 

Rey all but jumped into the shower, wrapping her arms around his thick torso and nuzzling her face into his chest with a content sigh. It was clear that wasn’t what Ben was expecting her to do, but Rey just wanted to hug him for a moment. 

“I just… thank you, Ben. For everything. Especially today,” she murmured against his wet skin. He rested one comforting hand against her lower back and reached down with the other to lift her chin up so she could gaze into his eyes. All lust that had occupied them moments ago transformed into something soft and Rey’s knees weakened at the sight. 

“I’d do anything for you, Rey. But you know that, don’t you?” Ben questioned with the kindest tone possible. Rey nodded and lifted herself to her tippy toes so that she could capture his lips sweetly in her own and drag him down with her. He moaned against her mouth and tightened his grip around her waist, but for a long while, they just kissed each other.

The shower water got into her eyes every now and then and sometimes it was hard to catch her breath when they broke apart for a few seconds, but Rey pushed all of those things aside to focus on her boyfriend instead.

_ God, she loved Ben… _

The thought that ran through her mind had her reeling and jolting away from him with wide eyes, but Ben just frowned and reached out to cup the side of her face. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asked anxiously. Even the worry he had for her, making sure whatever happened was his fault or not, had Rey’s heart squeezing and relaxing over and over again.

“N-no… actually, quite the opposite,” Rey whispered after a forced swallow, but her fingers wove into his hair once more and pulled him back in for a much steamier kiss this time. And by the way his lower half started to grow between them and slick started to coat her inner thighs, Rey knew it might be a while until they were actually clean.

It wasn’t like they were in any hurry though, right? She was too busy coming to terms with the fact that she was in love with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! Sorry again if it wasn't great, I'll try to do better next update xx


	15. Day 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, if you read my Author's Note while it was still up, I got nothing but support and understanding from all of you, and those of you who motivated me to continue on with a reduced chapter count actually ended up getting me to whip up this chapter for you tonight. I'm reducing the chapters to 17, please expect time jumps as I warned, but I hope you all enjoy all the same xx

Ben was panting heavily behind her, hands on his hips and one knee bent while he all but glared at Poe along with the rest of the company. There was a week left until the production, something that had silently crept up, and everybody was in perfection mode.

They’d been practicing in their costumes for the past three days and Rey hated to admit that her feet were bruised and bloodied. Ben had taken care of them every night when they went back to his apartment, although it was soon to be  _ their _ apartment. 

In a session of pillow talk after a wonderful round of morning sex, he’d asked her to move in with him when her own lease was up. That wouldn’t be for another few months when the production of Manon was finished, but she’d agreed with a smile and a sweet kiss to his swollen lips.

She fretted about the fact days after agreeing, muttering about Plutt and the debt she owed, but Ben finally confessed the truth on what had happened when he encountered the man weeks ago to pick up her things. Ben had paid the debt in full, threatening Plutt that if he ever reached out to Rey or went looking for her, there’d be hell to pay.

At first, Rey had been angry with the fact he settled her debt without her knowing. For years, she’d slaved over paying him back and letting her life revolve around the notion that one day she’d be free, but Ben had swooped in and fixed it all over night.

He gave her the space she needed for a while, acknowledging they should’ve talked about it and he should have told her sooner, but Rey eventually came around and softly thanked him. There was no reason for him to pay the rest of her burden, and yet, he’d done so without a second thought.

Ben was very quickly becoming her rock, although Rey figured she already knew that. They hadn’t said those three little romantic words of devotion to each other yet, but she could feel the right time to say them was coming soon.  _ Maybe after opening night? _

Which was in exactly one week on a Monday night. Everyone was starting to feel the effects of being overworked, and more people left with bandages on their feet than when they came into rehearsal. 

The nitty gritty details that no one but a true professional would point out were rehearsed again and again and  _ again _ until Rey found the music haunted her and she desperately needed a break. Everyone needed more breaks. Han and Leia had even come up to watch a rehearsal when Ben invited them, and Poe got a very stern talking to by his mother.

That was the only day last week that truly let everyone in the performance rest for a while. The routine became the same between Rey and Ben during this time, a happy one that gave Rey a sense of direction and stability while she tried to navigate the idea of what her future could look like after Manon.

They woke up together, packed all of their things and went to the Lincoln Center, spent the first five hours in a private studio focused on their solos that would occur in the show, rehearsed the next five hours with the rest of the company, then got back in his car and crashed in his apartment.

Weekends were reserved for sex and special outings, though Rey mostly prefered the former— not that Ben was complaining. They’d gone out to visit his parents the past weekend, just to have a nice dinner with them and catch up and share what was going on with their lives. Casual.

Rey had cried after they left, and when Ben begged her to tell him why she was, she just said she never felt like she was part of a family until now. That had earned her a rather passionate night of love making on rumpled sheets with soft words and devoted kisses. But it was back to work Monday morning, and she was catching her breath alongside Ben.

“Rey, you’re late on the lift again. Come on, we need to get this perfect! Reset everyone!” Poe called out in frustration. Rey flicked her eyes over to Ben in annoyance and he just nodded in understanding, a silent way of letting her know it would be alright.

So she grumbled and walked back to the starting position that would set her up for the lift Poe was grilling her for, then took a deep breath and focused on her boyfriend across the stage. Poe called out the counts, the music erupted in the background, and Rey scurried on point to Ben across the stage.

He grabbed her hips and lifted her in a beautiful arch while she fluttered her arms, but the music was cut again and Poe told everyone to stop. _ “Rey! _ Late again!” he all but cried. It was Ben’s turn to get pissed at this and he gently set Rey down on her feet before spinning around to face his old friend.

“What do you  _ mean _ she’s late? She’s doing it flawlessly every fucking time, Dameron! Have you possibly considered the fact we’re dancing on goddamn aching and bloodied feet and we haven’t had a decent five minute break in  _ four _ hours?” Ben shouted back, the veins in his neck bulging. 

Poe just growled at this in the back of his throat, turning his attention to the rest of the company to get a good look at them only to seriously take in their faces and posture. Everyone was coated in sweat and gasping for breath, their expressions twisted with pain and fatigue. Even one girl was fighting back tears as she bent over to rub her ankle.

Giving in with a rather upset huff at the fact Ben was right, Poe barked out, “Alright, fifteen minutes! Then I want everyone back up on this stage for Act three, Scene three!” The moans and sighs of appreciation echoed through the empty theatre.

“Come on. Let’s go take a quiet break in the private room,” Ben murmured to Rey. She nodded and took his hand silently, limping behind him while the ankle she’d sprained weeks ago twinged with an old flame. All of the reruns and hard practice gave it a smidge of discomfort, but she pushed through in the end. 

Ben noticed, as he always did, and frowned at the weak way she walked as they navigated through the corridors. Other dancers were sitting down and nursing their feet, but they found themselves alone in their little studio only moments later, away from the others who shared their pain.

“Let me see,” he coaxed when they sat down.

“I don’t think they’re any worse than they were yesterday,” Rey admitted, tugging off her ribbons and carefully sliding her feet out of the pointe shoes to expose her swollen skin. The horrible sight of purple ankles, bruised toe knuckles, and white bandages tinted with pink greeted their vision and made Rey hiss.

“Poe is going to run you into the fucking ground. By the time it’s opening night, I don’t know if you’ll even be able to dance,” Ben grumbled. She bit her bottom lip, knowing he was probably right, but she had no idea what to do about it. It wasn’t like they could just take another week off when there was so much to put together.

Sure, they’d done run-throughs of the show, but they were sloppy and needed to be done in full more often if opening night was going to be perfect. “I’m going to go talk to Poe, alright? I’ll be right back. Don’t stand,” Ben murmured with firm care. Rey nodded and tilted her head back so he could kiss her, then watched him turn and leave the room.

With a sigh, Rey stared at her damaged feet and nibbled on her bottom lip until the taste of blood registered on the tip of her tongue. Rey had been thinking a lot lately. And by a lot, she meant  _ a lot. _ From Zorii to Poe to Ben to just herself, Rey’s mind had been a mess of questions and answers for the past few weeks.

Rey didn’t know how much longer she could dance like this. She really didn’t.

While Ben had helped her find her love of dance once more over the past month and a half, Rey still didn’t feel like NYCB was where she wanted to be anymore. She was determined to perform in Manon, get through the performance season with a smile on her face, but… it was time to ask herself the question of what she was going to do  _ afterwards. _

Rey had been entertaining the idea of retiring, though she’d said nothing to anybody about it— not even Ben. Zorii had told her in their confrontation not long ago that she was teaching toddlers how to dance, and for some reason, Rey had found herself entertaining that idea.

Ballet was what she’d fallen in love with when she was little. It was ultimately what got her to where she was today. Ballet had been taken from her at a young age also, and it hurt her heart deeply to know that she probably wasn’t the only one to experience some form of harassment from it. 

So would it really be that bad to retire from professional dance and become a dance teacher? She could help other little girls, protect them and encourage them and let them feel safe in ballet unlike she did when she was their age. Rey went to bed thinking that and woke up thinking that every single day.

The image of her damaged feet slowly came back into her line of focus and Rey released her bitten lip with a sigh of finality. Ben always encouraged her to do what she wanted to do and she knew, deep down, he’d encourage her to pursue this new dream if it was what she really wanted.

Rey was fairly certain her mind had already been made up a long time ago.

The practice room door opened and Ben stepped in with a kind smile, his gaze drifting down to her feet before moving back to her eyes. “Alright, I talked to Poe and we came to an agreement. It took a few other nearby dancers to chime in for him to settle on the proposal, but he finally gave in,” he started.

Rey just cocked her head to the side and waited for him to go on. “We’re going to finish today, run through Act three, Scene three, but for the rest of the week, we’re only doing half days. However, every day will be running through the entire show,” Ben informed her.

It would be hard and tedious, running through the show four days in a row again and again, but it was better than trying to fix every single flaw and then mash it all together with the hope everything would then be flawless. “Alright, I can live with that,” Rey agreed, beaming up at him. 

Ben just grinned back at her and sat down beside her feet before carefully guiding her feet back into their shoes. Rey grunted in pain and clutched her leotard as the tight shoe confined her throbbing toes, but he managed to get them both on eventually. 

“Ben, I… before we go back out there, can I talk to you for a second?” Rey asked while he laced up her ribbons around her ankles. Ben hummed in agreement, his kind eyes finding hers once he finished. “I, um… I’ve been thinking about something Zorii said when she found us in that store a few weeks ago,” she started.

His face darkened and his subtle smile slipped off of his face, but Rey was quick to pick up one of his warm hands and cradle it in hers. “Not thinking about anything mean she said, I promise, but she told me she got a job teaching toddlers ballet. And I’ve been thinking about it and… I think I’d like to try that. After Manon. When everything is over,” she admitted. 

Ben blinked at this, the shock evident in his expression as he furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion and opened his mouth to say something. But Rey beat him to it once more, now rushing to get out, “I still love ballet, I promise I do, but I can’t keep up with professional dance anymore. I want to teach others— other little girls who found their passion like I did when I was young and—” 

He held up his hands and cut her off with a surprised chuckle. “Woah, woah,  _ woah. _ Easy, Rey. Alright, so… you want to retire from professional dance, the NYCB, to teach little girls ballet? Is that right?” Ben asked, his eyes searching her face in the way he sometimes did when he was trying to figure her out. 

“I think so, yes. I’ve had my time, and the majority of it was spent in a deep depression, Ben. I love being able to dance alongside you in Manon, and I’m going to love performing beside you in a week, but I don’t think I can do it anymore. I want to teach ballet to little girls, support them in finding passion in ballet, like you did for me, even after Plutt,” Rey revealed excitedly.

Ben remained quiet, really taking her in for a few moments, but eventually started to nod and offered her a resolved smile. “Well… alright then. If that’s what you want, Rey, then I’ll be by your side to help make sure that happens. No matter what,” he agreed, reassurance washing over his face.

Rey beamed at him, practically throwing herself at his body in the next instant and wrapping her arms around his neck to hold him in close. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Ben Solo. Thank you for understanding,” she whispered into his bare chest. He just laughed softly and held her back, not letting go until she did.

A knock came to their door and disrupted their little moment, but Rey was glad that it had happened— even if it was a rather short conversation about her future. Ben helped her to her feet, steadying her as she adjusted to the dull throb in her soles, and continued to support her when they finally stepped out into the hallway.

When they made it back on stage, everyone else was in their starting positions for Act three, Scene three, and Rey found that it was a little easier to give into the repetitive music this time when it began. She might have even been early on the lift this time. 

*****

On Wednesday, two days to the weekend and four days to the first performance, Rey found herself in full costume and makeup ready to start from the beginning for the third time that day. Once again, the studio was tired and everyone was in a subtle state of pain, but it was necessary. 

Poe had informed them the tickets for Manon were officially sold out and that it was going to be a packed theatre come opening night. Ben had to calm Rey down in the women’s locker room after the announcement, her nerves getting the better of her before they began practice for the day. 

Ben, on the other hand, looked as dashing as ever in his costume. With white leggings, a cream colored suit jacket fashioned in 18th century style, and silver men’s ballet slippers, it was a welcomed contrast to his usual dark getup. Rey had even pulled him into a heated makeout session in their private studio as soon as she saw him.

Her costume matched his— cream colored dress, corset style bust, long silk skirt, and white fabric that puffed out behind laced up details— they were a beautiful image on stage. Rose had told her that after the first run through during a break time and Rey had blushed at the compliment. 

Thankfully, everything was seeming to go smoothly during this run-through. Poe hadn’t called anything out yet to anyone for them to fix and the twinge in Rey’s ankle and toes had finally gone numb, much to her relief. Not that it was necessarily a  _ good _ thing, but she didn’t have to think about it for a while.

As always, Ben was there to guide her through their turns, lifts, jumps, and staccatoed movements, and by the time they were through Act two, Rey felt ready for the first time in weeks to perform on Monday. The day ended with a round of applause for everyone and the declaration of the same time tomorrow, but Rey felt like she could do it again and again if Poe wanted.

“You looked beautiful on stage today,” Ben complimented when they greeted each other outside of the locker rooms, both of them changed back into their normal clothing and comfortable shoes. Rey grinned, a silly little thing, and slipped her hand happily into his as they walked towards the exit.

“And you looked devastatingly handsome,” she teased. The tips of his ears turned red, a little action that Rey had caught on to and grew rather fond of, but he just huffed out an embarrassed  _ thank you. _ Their drive home was peaceful and their hands were still linked together, and Rey took the short time to reflect on everything that had happened in the past month.

If anyone had told her a month ago that she’d be the prima ballerina in Manon alongside Ben Solo, she would have laughed. Well, she probably wouldn’t have laughed because she was so void of emotion then, but she would’ve dismissed the statement at the end of the day.

She’d been giving majority of her money to Plutt, she’d been dancing just because it was the only thing she knew how to do, and she’d been extremely alone in life. And then Ben waltzed in, all hard assed and prepared to whip her into shape, only to fall hard for her. For  _ her.  _

Rey grinned to herself in the car and stole a glance at her boyfriend. Out of all the ballerinas and women in the world, he had been interested in  _ her _ and cared about making  _ her _ life better. “Hey,” she murmured in the quiet of the car. Ben hummed in acknowledgement and flicked his eyes over to her to let her know he was listening. 

“I just wanted to let you know that… that I love you. A lot,” Rey admitted softly. Ben sucked in a sharp breath at her little confession, glancing over at her again to find her eyes still trained on him, and then the redness that flooded his face just made Rey smile harder.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice somewhat choked up.

“Yeah,” she said. Ben squeezed her hand tightly in his and cleared his throat for a brief moment, shoving down whatever emotion that got clogged inside of it. 

“Well, good, because I love you too,” Ben professed. Rey had to physically bite back her smile now, clenching her palm around his just as he had done to hers, but nothing more was said during their car ride back to the apartment. 

All in all, quite a lot had been accomplished in their week leading up to the show. She’d decided on what she wanted to do with her future, she finally felt ready to perform the way she always wanted to, and she told Ben she loved him only to hear it said back to her. 

Rey was truly on cloud nine. 

That night, after they’d made dinner together and watched a movie and taken a shower, Rey curled up against Ben and trailed her fingertips over his warm skin. “Can I ask you a question?” she inquired gently. He nodded, running his fingers lazily through her hair, and murmured back, “Ask me anything.”

She drew a happy face over his heart and went on with what she wanted to know. “What did you say to Zorii all those weeks ago? When she accused me of sleeping with you in order to get the spot? I know everyone made a big deal about it, but I never actually heard what you said,” Rey admitted.

The room was quiet for a little while, only the sound of the fan and their even breathing filling the otherwise silent space. Ben shifted underneath her and took in a breath before saying, “Well, basically, I told her that she was wrong, that she’d never be able to dance the way you danced.

“That, even though you got up in that audition and gave me a blank face and stiff limbs, you still had more talent than she’d ever have. And when she opened her mouth to say something, I just told her to save it, that anything else she said only proved how much better you were than her. There may or may not have been some curse words too,” he finished sheepishly. 

  
Rey took in a deep, steadying breath at his response and tried her best to hide her smile. In the end, she simply pressed a long and purposeful kiss against his chest before squeezing him lightly and closing her eyes to drift off to sleep. She loved Ben. She  _ really _ loved Ben. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until the next chapter :)


	16. Day 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, here it is!! The big performance! Highly encourage y'all to just go on YouTube and type in Manon to watch the performance done by the Dutch Ballet Company as this chapter was based around their performance. Enjoy! xx

Rey woke up Monday morning to the feeling of Ben shaking her shoulder and whispering her name. She huffed and tried to curl back into their bed, hoping that she could still get some sleep in before they had to leave for the Lincoln Center. 

Tonight was the opening night of the performance and Rey would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. Sure, she and Ben and everyone else had poured their hearts and souls into rehearsal, perfecting every single thing they could, but she was still worried.

It had been so long since Rey had been the lead in any ballet production, the last one having been in high school, and now she was about to go out of the profession as the current prima ballerina in Manon. 

_ Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine something like this happening to her. _

“Rey, sweetheart…” Ben murmured insistently. She finally groaned into the pillow and rolled onto her back, blinking at the blurry form of her boyfriend sitting beside her. “Here,” he continued gently, hesitantly handing his phone over to her. 

Rey frowned, hating that she was yet again waking up to something on the internet, but Ben didn’t seem to be angry or upset, so she took the device cautiously and started to read. This morning, just two hours before she’d woken up,  _ Snoke had been arrested.  _

He’d been hired as a personal trainer by the American Ballet Theatre, but after he’d caused serious injury to one of their lead performers, charges had been pressed and he’d found himself in trouble. As it turned out, he’d also lied about his name so that they wouldn’t discover his involvement with Ben or Rey, but the truth came to the surface once more and his fate was sealed. 

The article confirmed that he would finally be going to jail for his latest stunt and Rey slowly handed the phone back to Ben, her mind numb and her heart beating fast. “I just wanted to let you know now before someone might say something when we go to rehearsal,” he explained.

Rey nodded quietly and let herself nestle back into the cozy sheets, all thoughts of her performance tonight slowly ebbing away. The only thing she could suddenly focus on was the fact that it could have been Ben. If Snoke was still at the NYCBC, it could have been  _ Ben _ that he hurt.

The article only said that serious injury had been made to both of the dancer’s knees, and it made Rey shudder to think of all the things that could lead to such damage occurring. “Hey, talk to me. Don’t shut me out, Rey…” Ben begged softly.

He crawled into the bed behind her and pulled her into his arms, his warm breath tickling the back of her neck while his knees bent comfortably into her own. Ben pressed a sweet kiss to the top of her collarbone and Rey finally admitted, “It could have been you.” 

He was quiet for a moment, caught off guard that her first thought had been him and not the injured ankle she’d received after one training session with Snoke. Ben pursed his lips, trying to figure out how best to say that it wasn’t him who could have been hurt, but he finally gave in and said bluntly, “Rey, it was  _ you.” _

They stayed in bed for a little while longer after that, neither of them saying a word.

*****

No one commented on the news when Ben and Rey arrived at the studio, but it was clear everyone had already heard of Snoke’s arrest. They just remained passive to what was being said under hushed breaths and the looks of pity that were tossed their way whenever someone spotted them.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to tolerate it for very long as Poe stepped out onto the stage with a deep sigh and a look of pride in his eyes. “Well, everyone… we made it. Tonight is opening night and we now have the job of making sure each and every one of you is ready in makeup and costumes.

“All of the dressing rooms are set up, we’ve got the artists and stylists ready for everyone, so I just want to say one thing before we split up and start to get prepared for the night. I know this hasn’t been a particularly easy season… I know things happened that hurt a lot of us… some more than others,” he admitted.

Ben squeezed Rey’s hand reassuringly at the last sentence and Rey leaned into his side as a quiet thank you. “But all of you should be extremely proud. Despite the things that happened to our company, we pushed through and turned this production into something incredible.

“Tonight, hundreds of people are going to watch the show we put our all into. They aren’t going to know that sometimes we were hurting, or sometimes we were apart, or that sometimes we were tired and in pain. All they’re going to know is we did a  _ damn _ good job. Alright everyone, let’s get going,” Poe finished with a clap.

Excited murmurs filled the stage and Rey tugged Ben along with the group, heading in the direction of their shared dressing room. “You think it’s going to be good then?” Rey asked Ben with nervous eyes. He just smiled down at her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Rey, it’s going to be perfect. You’re going to be amazing,” Ben promised.

She blushed at his words, loving how he always seemed to say exactly what she needed to hear. “You are too,” she agreed softly. He grinned and pulled her further down the hallway with everyone else, pushing into their shared room before being bombarded by their stylists and makeup artists. 

Just like that, Rey knew there was no turning back.

She was pinched and pulled, prodded and poked, tugged up and down, and pulled this way and that way. By the time Rey’s face was set with makeup meant to last the entire night, her skin was tingling and she could no longer feel her scalp— that’s how tight her hair was in its perfect bun. 

Ben, on the other hand, simply got to sit in his chair while his hair was fluffed and soft looking products were massaged into his face, something that made Rey incredibly jealous. He met her eyes a few times in the mirror and she scowled whenever he laughed at the state of her appearance. 

All that was left was the costume, but Rey cracked due to overwhelment and finally asked if they could just have a break for a second while she let her face adjust to its uncomfortable stretch. 

The artists left despite their incredulous glances to one another and Rey practically sank into the chair as soon as they were out of the room.

Ben rose from his canvas seat behind her and smirked in the reflection of the mirror, slowly approaching her slumped form and teasing, “I thought this was what you always wanted.” Rey stuck her tongue out at him and waved her hand all around her face with a groan.

“I can’t feel my skin, Ben! I didn’t think it was going to be  _ that _ much,” she whined. Ben chuckled and rested his chin atop her slicked back hair, one of his fingers reaching up so that he could stroke the taught bun resting at the base of her neck. 

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I think you look absolutely beautiful,” he informed her. Sure, his words certainly made Rey’s heart lurch in her chest, but she didn’t want to give Ben the satisfaction of making her feel just slightly better about her painful pampering— no way. 

In the end, she just let him observe her blush and agreed grumpily when he asked if he could invite the small team back in. 

The pale pink tights were snug on her legs when she yanked them up and Rey caught Ben groaning in the mirror when he had to put on his personalized dance belt, the uncomfortable thing meant to keep  _ everything _ in his tights.

If there was one thing Rey wasn’t jealous about, it was that godforsaken thing that quite literally crushed a male dancer’s balls if it wasn’t a perfect fit. He glared irritably at her but didn’t get long to mope about it as his white tights were handed to him next.

The stylists worked fast, pulling all components of their costumes onto their already over-stimulated bodies, and Rey was surprised when she found that three hours had slipped by despite the team’s quick hands. 

Their performance didn’t start for another five hours, but Rey already knew what they’d be doing to pass the time and her feet gave a small pang of protest in anticipation for the practice. Finally, completely clothed and made up, the stylists backed away with approving nods and left the room to move on to the rest of the company if they still needed help.

“I fucking hate dance belts,” Ben grumbled, striding across the small room to her and cupping the sides of her face gently while he looked into her eyes. “Hey, I know I already said this, but I want you to know you’re going to be amazing tonight. We worked hard for this, Rey. I love you. You’re going to steal the show,” he told her seriously.

Rey’s bottom lip wobbled and she nodded, trying her hardest to believe him when he said so. There was the small part of her brain that whispered to her  _ wouldn’t you like to just lie down and say no? Doesn’t a nap sound so good? You’ve worked so hard and you’re so tired. Surely they could go on without you…  _

But she forced the thoughts away and wrapped her hands around his wrists to keep him there. “I’m going to need you tonight, okay? I can’t do this without you,” Rey confirmed softly. Ben simply replied with a sweet kiss to her rose colored lips, a gentle thing filled with determined emotion. 

They pressed their foreheads together, gazing into each other’s eyes as they knew Manon would soon come hurtling towards them the moment they stepped out of the dressing room. And, just for a fleeting moment, Rey allowed herself to feel proud at how far she’d come. 

*****

The backstage energy was a dull buzz in the back of her ears but her eyes were trained on the pointe shoes laced tightly around her ankles. Rey flexed her feet again and again, making sure that they were secure every other second. A comforting hand rested on her lower back in an attempt to soothe her and Rey nodded, knowing it was Ben beside her.

They could hear the theatre filled with excited voices just a stage length away and Rey pursed her lips together, closing her eyes so that she could focus on her breathing for just a moment and not the fact hundreds of people were about to watch her perform.

“Rey, it’s alright. You’re alright,” Ben murmured into her ear. She nodded again, though they both seemed to acknowledge she didn’t feel alright at all— she barely felt like she was breathing or present.

But the lights dimmed and the other dancers quieted immediately, moving out onto the stage behind the protection of the curtain to get into their positions. Ben lifted her hand to his lips, giving her a stern look meant to reassure her of his beliefs once more, and then he was pulling away to sink further behind the stage wing.

Hux, the man meant to portray her brother Lescaut, strode onto the stage as the last man and then the entire theatre went quiet. Rey finally lifted her gaze up from the floor and stared at the area in front of her, the curtain seeming to rise in slow motion at the same time the orchestra began the music for Act 1.

“Alright, Rey. Here we go,” Mitaka whispered beside her, pulling her to the prop meant to represent a coach behind the safety of the stage wing. She entered into the coach with the ballerino acting as The Old Gentleman, a man who would show primary interest in her character, Manon. 

But Manon would reject him as well as a man named Monsieur G.M., played by dancer Finn Storm, in favor of Des Grieux—  _ Ben. _ The thought made her smile and she squared her shoulders against the seat within the coach, waiting for the music that would signal their entry ten minutes later.

Before she knew it, the coach was being picked up by some of the background dancers and carried onto the stage, though the sound of the music was entirely drowned out by the frantic heartbeat in Rey’s ears.

It was cautiously set down, the orchestra’s string section swelling vaguely in the distance, and then Rey was looking up to see Mitaka staring at her intently, jerking his head towards the door. It had creaked open and, without warning, Hux was waiting with his hand extended to her on the other side.

The panic was evident in both of the men’s eyes eyes, knowing that if she didn’t get out right this second, she was going to fuck up the  _ entirety _ of Act 1. And then… 

Rey slipped her hand into Hux’s rough palm and strode out onto the stage with the biggest smile a prima ballerina could muster.

Her pointe slippers practically glided on air across the stage as she let Hux guide her towards the center of it, directly into the spotlight that blocked out nearly all of the theatre in front of her. Rey slid flawlessly from group to group that crowded the stage, her character meant to be greeting everyone waiting for her arrival.

And then Ben was there. 

On the other side of the stage, dressed as handsomely as ever and clutching a book as a prop, the smile she gave to him was genuine and filled with true love. It would be a while, however, until she found his character during Act 1, so she continued on with her turn about the stage.

Rey danced with Hux, she twirled with Mitaka, and she leapt with Finn exactly as planned until the crowded stage started to dissolve, dancers leaving the Paris square they were meant to be portraying. Well, everyone except for Ben. 

She purposely bumped into him and spun around on the very tip of her pointe shoe, pretending to be startled at the sudden action. The smirk he gave her only made her grin, and just like that, they moved into their first solo of the night. 

Ben danced for her first, showing off flawless pirouettes and grand jetes as his character was meant to do, and Rey couldn’t help but genuinely admire the way he moved. It was like his limbs were created solely for ballet and the dance form had chosen him specifically to portray it. 

Rey nearly missed her entry when he reached for her hand expectantly, that’s how caught up she was in admiring him. But she slipped her delicate fingers into his warm grasp and let him guide her back to the center of the stage so they could dance together, finally.

It was as if they were back at his parents’ house, like the wall of mirrors was in front of them and they were rehearsing by themselves as they’d done all those weeks ago. Rey’s eyes never left his and Ben’s hands always found her. His touch was constant, predicting her falls and lifts, and Rey melted into him like wax in the divot of a candle. 

_ Breathing,  _ Rey thought.  _ Dancing was as easy as breathing with Ben. _

Their performance was flawless and special, feeling as though no one else was in the room except for them and they were the only ones meant to witness it. Her smile made her cheeks hurt, but the joy she experienced from being with him numbed the ache. 

Act 1 ended with Rey and Ben deciding to run off together after she’d stolen money from Mitaka’s character and conveyed that she loved him, their plan to flee Paris while Hux made a deal to track her down in exchange for her hand in marriage to Finn’s character. 

It was a frenzied ending, the two of them escaping after declaring their love for each other through a rather scandalous, yet intimate, dance. But before Rey could even stop to catch her breath at the realization the entirety of Act 1 was complete, Ben swept her into Act 2 with a dazzling smile. 

The second Act began with a party held by Finn’s character, the one currently trying to buy her hand through Rey’s brother, but she was torn between her love for Ben and the expectations from society that she marry into something wealthy. 

Rey entered cloaked in silver furs alongside Finn, letting him show her off around the stage to the party, but it wasn’t long before Ben was striding in as well with stern eyes and a stoic posture. Once more, she was carried away by his character and yet another solo exchange occurred between them.

This time, they seemed to play cat and mouse through their movements as Rey scurried away, timid, with courus while Ben chased after her through grand leaps. As expected, Rey fell for his character yet again and it was his turn to steal money from Finn so they could continue their escape plan. 

However, Finn sent for Rey to be arrested on false pretenses out of rage at being robbed and Ben rose to the occasion in order to protect her. A heated battle ensued between Ben’s character and Finn’s, faux swords clashing alongside fouettes, arabesques, and  assemblés.

Ben defeated Finn, but he was too late to save Rey as she was whisked away to America to report for her alleged crime. They shared another small solo, a sad thing with slow moments meant to convey the morose situation in which, once more, their plans to leave France were foiled. 

Ever the determined man, however, Ben followed her to America in the beginning of Act 3 and found her in a jail meant for women— prostitutes, really. Rey danced solemnly with the background dancers, her withering movements performed beside Rose and Tallie who locked hands with her to resemble a chain. 

When the jailor, a dancer named Snap, started to show interest in Rey through a small courting solo in which Rey attempted to reject dancing with him, Ben emerged onto the stage out of the shadows and dueled yet another time to save her. 

With another man slain by Ben’s character through a fiery and passionate dance, the couple ran off the stage and dove into the start of the final scene for Act 3. The music picked up to something wild and frantic, smoke filling the stage to increase tension and alarm.

The lights focused to the center of the stage after going out to allow for the change in scene and the audience found Rey and Ben collapsed against the dark floor. Background ballerinas danced tensely behind them, portraying shadows belonging to new pursuers in search for the pair. 

Having given up her ambition for wealth and splendor in favor of Ben’s love, it was no surprise that their escape suddenly took a toll on her character. Their last dance, a stricken tousle where Ben pleadingly carried her along her limping form, was choreographed with lamely dips, lifts, and pirouettes meant to convey her character’s looming death. 

The music rang in Rey’s ears, every ounce of fear Ben’s character was supposed to be feeling resonating deep within her soul while his dark eyes bore into hers and his face twisted up into a pained expression.

It looked almost as if he was truly scared— scared that this would be the end for  _ them, _ not just their characters. 

And as Rey carefully fell to the floor, allowing her body to go limp while he desperately tried to wake her in their finished dance, she came to the startling realization Ben thought she would be leaving  _ him _ too when she finished the performance season. 

But the music swelled, Ben gave his final action of lifting his hands to the sky as if to curse God, and then the lights went out to signal the end of the show. All Rey could hear afterwards was the sound of a standing ovation and the creaks of chairs as the entirety of the theatre rose to their feet with deafening claps. 

  
After so many years of feeling nothing for a passion she’d only ever wanted to succeed in, Rey finally allowed herself to cry in the arms of her troubled lover and acknowledged the fact that she was a good ballerina—  _ no, _ she was a  _ great _ one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! Don't worry, epilogue will be next and we'll make sure Ben knows Rey ain't ever leaving him :) xx


	17. Day 243

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE MIND THE NEW TAGS!!! 
> 
> I couldn't help myself, I just love pregnant Reylo so much... xx

**8 months later**

“Alright, let’s see… show me positions one through five,” Rey directed, walking around the small classroom filled with light. She smiled gently at the little girls and their soft pink tutus and slippers, each of them clutching a barre stand set up within the room. 

They moved clumsily through the positions, still learning, and Rey murmured some tips to improve to a few girls who were struggling with their feet placement. “Miss Niima? Can you show us all of them again?” a little girl with messy brown hair asked at the back of the room.

Rey blushed when they all giggled, sharing conspiratorial looks between each other while hiding their smiles behind their hands. “Well, er…” Rey trailed off at the same time the door to the classroom opened, the handsome face of her fiance peeking in to see whether or not she was holding a class.

“Hi, Mister Solo!” all of the little girls screamed, their laughter doubling in size when he realized he’d been caught in his secretive efforts. Rey was thankful he managed to steal the attention away from her flushing face, but her stomach dropped when he pushed into the room and gave into defeat by her pupils.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were coming tonight. Everyone’s excited to see you,” he whispered as he crossed the space and pulled her off to the side. The little girls quickly filled the time chatting loudly in the background.

“And miss your performance? I would never. I’m still getting backstage seats, aren’t I?” Rey teased back at him. Ben beamed and nodded, snaking his arms as best as he could while he bent down for a sweet kiss. 

The girls _oooh-ed_ around them and Rey gently pushed her fiance away with a laugh of her own, putting her hands on his shoulders so that she could turn him to face the class. “Ben, why don’t you show the girls all of the ballet positions, hm? They’ve been begging for me to do it, but…” 

As if on command, everyone’s eyes turned to her swollen belly barely contained by the maternity leotard she’d just gotten a week ago, going up yet another size. “Right, sure, yes,” Ben agreed, getting nervous all of a sudden in front of the twenty-five tiny eyes staring at them.

“Shit…” he huffed under his breath, striding over to one of the double barre stands and giving a small nod to a tiny blonde girl that stepped back so he could take her place. 

Rey knew it had been a long time since he’d done the basics like this, his practices usually much more complex than just the five positions. “Right, so, uh… first position is pretty easy. You just put your heels together like this and then put your hands here,” Ben mumbled, wavering a little with his balance.

Rey tried her best to stifle her laughter at the sight of the 6’3 professional ballerino attempting the first position for a bunch of seven-year-olds. “And then second is like this,” he continued, spreading his arms and legs. 

It was on position three, however, that he accidentally squeezed his own balls in his sweatpants and hissed, falling out of it and causing an uproar with the class. “Alright, alright! Let’s give Mister Solo here a round of applause and show him how it’s done, girls,” Rey called out to the class with a humored grin.

Ben stepped back and subtly readjusted himself while Rey and the girls moved back to their barres to run through the positions, showing off to him with excited smiles. As soon as they were done, Rey dismissed them all with a group hug and watched them scurry out of the room to their parents who were waiting in the lobby.

“Will you help me move these?” Rey asked when the door finally closed and left them alone. He nodded and moved alongside her, bending down for her to unlock the wheels and push the barres to the side of the room.

“How’s she doing?” Ben questioned softly, pressing his chest to her back as soon as he was able to corner her in the room and get his hands on her. Rey all but purred as he slid his warm palms over the bump, the womb their daughter had been inhabiting and calling home for seven months now. 

“Mm, a few kicks today, nothing too bad. Maternity leave finally got approved through the school, though, so I’ll be able to take off for three months once she’s out,” Rey teased. He hummed, pressing his nose into the back of her hair before pressing his lips in the same spot moments later. 

They’d found out she was pregnant a month into performing Manon to the public, and she thankfully was small enough to fit into her costume throughout the duration of the three month season. 

She’d retired from the NYCBC when the season finished and it was there she and Ben broke the news to the company that they were expecting. A small dance school was looking for an introductory ballet teacher just a few blocks away from the Lincoln Center and Rey snatched it up immediately. 

Over time, she’d had to switch from her pointe shoes to simple ballet flats, the growth of her belly making it hard to stay on pointe due to the added weight. That didn’t mean she didn’t still try to practice in them every now and then, it just meant she couldn’t do it for very long.

“That’s wonderful news, sweetheart. I’ve got the car ready outside… did you want to do some dancing at home today or are your feet still bad?” Ben asked, pulling away so that he could ease her onto the floor and start working on tugging off her flats. 

Rey hadn’t liked being so dependent on Ben at first, still fighting after all this time to prove she could do things herself, but the last few months had been a secret relief to her as he did all the things she couldn’t without being asked.

One of those things included putting on shoes and taking them off. She relaxed on her palms and smiled at him when he reached into the pocket of his sweatpants to tug out her favorite fluffy socks. Even that small gesture made her tear up a little.

_Damn hormones._

“Yeah, yes. Let’s do some dancing today. I really don’t know how much longer I can keep going. Seven months is starting to take its toll and I can’t even begin to imagine month eight or nine,” she admitted. Ben just rubbed the soles of her feet intently and offered up a sympathetic smile.

Sure, he didn’t know what exactly she was dealing with and feeling, but he was definitely doing his damn best to make everything as easy for her as possible. “Alright, then. Dancing today and then show later,” Ben agreed.

Their drive was longer these days, a thirty minute drive outside of the city in a rather nice neighborhood with cozy homes and greenery. They’d managed to find a beautiful white house with four bedrooms three months into their new journey, planning to turn one of them into a nursery, and Rey had fallen in love instantly.

She’d never had a home like that before, something to call hers and make her own. It was no surprise when Ben revealed he’d gotten it for them only a week after touring. Rey loved him that much more for it.

Of course, with one of the other rooms, they already knew what they were going to do with it. So that was how Rey found herself back at their home in her nearly all black outfit, save for maroon leg warmers and a matching long-sleeve shawl. “Okay. One, two, three… up!” Ben cheered.

Rey grumbled as he lifted her up from the floor by her hands and pulled her into his arms. “Feeling okay?” he double checked. She rolled her eyes at his worry and nodded, flexing her feet in the black satin shoes laced onto her feet.

“Peachy,” she grumbled back to him and pushed herself to perform a pirouette, the weight on her ankle a subtle pressure that made her huff. She stumbled a little and reached out to balance herself, but Ben was right behind her to catch her with a soft, “Easy, Rey,” in her ear. 

Rey couldn’t help but blush as she fell into his arms and looked at their reflection in their room, her tiny body supported by his massive arms. Ben looked so worried in the mirror, like she would fall at any moment and land on the belly containing their daughter, and her heart immediately went soft.

With a sigh, she removed herself from his hold and turned in his arms to face him and look upon his concerned expression. “I have an idea… why don’t we run through Act 1 like we used to, hm? I’m not on pointe much and I can still dance… and I know you’ll be there to catch me when I fall,” Rey offered.

The smile that bloomed over Ben’s face was blinding and he nodded eagerly, walking with her towards the left side of the practice room like it was second nature. Even after all the months that passed, Rey still knew the moves and counts, slipping into the Act as easily as it was to breathe.

There wasn’t any music to accompany them, but Ben just hummed the tune in her ear while they smiled in the reflection before them and moved gracefully across the floors. Ben would be performing in Romeo and Juliet tonight, Rose stepping up as the prima ballerina, and Rey was excited to see what he’d been up to with rehearsal now that she wasn’t a part of it.

Her heart ached sometimes when she thought about it, that she wasn’t his prima anymore, but Ben came home every single day to her and made her feel like she was still the star on stage beside him.

And with the baby on the way, she seemed to remain in the spotlight all the same whenever she visited her friends or Ben’s parents. When Leia and Han had found out, they’d been overjoyed; so much so that Leia had scolded Ben and asked him why they hadn’t gotten around to it sooner.

That had made Rey blush, but the sex they had later that night with him growling in her ear that he’d fuck her full of however many babies she wanted overcame her embarrassment with his parents. 

They danced through the entirety of Act 1, but Rey was already tired by the time they finished and Ben didn’t push her to continue. “I think you need to get ready to go back to the Lincoln Center, don’t you? Your stylists must be freaking out without you there already,” Rey teased as she pushed her sweaty hair back.

Ben let out a long breath of annoyance but nodded all the same, helping her back down onto the floor to undo her ribbons and pull the shoes off of her feet. “You’ll be okay while I’m gone?” he asked, cupping her cheeks and gazing into her eyes.

“I’ll be alright, Ben, I promise. I’ll be there before you go on and whenever you look to the wing beside the stage, I swear I’ll be standing there,” Rey assured him. That seemed to calm him and he helped her to her feet, reluctantly letting her go after he helped her up the stairs to their bedroom.

He kissed her before he left, making sure he’d gotten her leggings and panties down to her ankles so she could get them off by herself, and then she was all alone in their house. The hot shower had been nice and Rey allowed herself a few small moments to rub her belly and admire the swell cradled within her hands.

_They’d made that. Together._

After their opening night for Manon, after Ben had given her that look that told Rey he was afraid she’d leave him too when she retired, Rey had assured him in their dressing room she wasn’t going anywhere. 

She told him that she loved him, that he was _it_ for her, and that she wanted everything with him— even after she was done with professional dance— it was there that Ben had proposed to her. He didn’t have a ring and he revealed later that it was a spur of the moment thing, but Rey had said yes and that was that.

The ring came a week later, when they had the weekend to themselves, and Rey had worn the diamond on her finger with pride every day since. Their plan was to have the wedding _after_ their daughter came, just so that she could fit into the wedding dress she’d always wanted, so Rey could admit they hadn’t started planning yet.

_No matter,_ Rey thought to herself, _she already figured Leia was on it._

She left the shower and frowned when she went to her closet, realizing she wouldn’t be able to get any pants on, or any panties, so she smugly chose a maternity sundress with _extremely_ easy access.

It didn’t take long to do her hair and makeup, but the telltale sound of Han and Leia’s car pulling up outside pulled her from the comfortable lull of getting ready. Rey greeted them excitedly and clambered into the car, holding her belly as if she was afraid it would jostle too much, and then they were off to the city.

The parking lot was packed when they arrived and Rey was a little nervous moving through the crowd pouring into the theatre, but she was spotted by Poe out of pure luck alone and it didn’t take long for him to get to her with a giant grin.

“There you are! Ben sent me out here hoping I’d find you and low and behold… come on, let’s get you backstage. Han, Leia, good to see you two,” Poe greeted, waving to Rey’s future parents-in-law.

They waved goodbye to Rey, heading towards their seats with the rest of the general audience, and then she was being tugged towards the hallway leading to the practice rooms and locker rooms away from the public. “He’s doing okay? Not nervous or anything?” Rey questioned while they walked.

Poe gave her a knowing smile and looked over his shoulder to eye her giant belly. “Oh yeah, he’s fucking great considering he’s got a baby on the way with the woman of his dreams. Gotta say, it’s done wonders for his dancing. He’s going to be great tonight, you’ll see,” he assured.

Rey couldn’t help the blush that took over her cheeks, but they were entering the backstage hallways before she knew it. A few of the ballerinas and ballerinos passed by her and waved, offering large smiles and sparkling eyes when they found her belly.

It didn’t take long for them to locate Ben’s dressing room, a private one this time to get ready in, and then Poe was knocking on the door with a knowing smirk. “I’ll leave you two be. Just a heads up, he needs to be ready to go in thirty minutes,” Poe teased.

With a huff, Rey pushed into the room and locked the door behind her before turning around. Ben rose from the canvas chair and beamed at her when he realized who was coming inside, reaching out to tug her in by her belly, like she was the only thing he cared about in this world. 

“I wondered what was taking so long,” he murmured, leaning down to give her a sweet kiss. “You look beautiful.”

“Yeah?” Rey asked, pushing up on her tiptoes to fist the jacket of his costume and tug him down so his ear was right against his lips. “I couldn’t put on any panties,” she whispered seductively. The way Ben swallowed made her know she’d riled him up.

_“Rey…”_ he growled.

“You’ve got thirty minutes,” she shot back. 

Within the next second, Ben was grabbing Rey by her hips and spinning her around just to push her towards the dressing room counter. She gasped, bending herself over it and letting her swollen stomach hang off the edge, while Ben gripped her skirt and shoved it up, exposing her bare cunt.

“Jesus fucking Christ…” he groaned, sliding his fingers between her already soaked folds. The arch that came naturally to her back because of her belly only made her ass protrude more, and when Ben pushed two fingers into her tight heat, Rey hissed at how her walls gripped him. 

Her palms flexed against the flat surface, searching for something to hold on to, but the sound of him wrestling with the fabric of his tights and dance belt just made her whimper in anticipation. “How much longer can we keep having sex?” Ben asked, his voice rough and breath heavy. 

The tip of his cock caught against her clit when he started to push his length through her slick folds and Rey let out a sharp breath of pleasure, letting her forehead drop on the counter. “We… I-I can have it until the last few weeks of my—”

The cry that tore through her throat made Ben reach around and slap a hand over her mouth when he abruptly pushed the entirety of his length inside of her and bottomed out. _“Fuck,”_ he moaned, dragging out the curse word. 

If there was one thing Rey had discovered over the last few months, it was that Ben really enjoyed fucking her while she was pregnant. 

Knowing they didn’t have that much time, Rey lifted her head so that she could meet his eyes in the mirror and nodded for him to go on. Ben let go of her mouth, fisting her hair instead to keep her head up, and then he dragged his cock out only to slam it back inside.

She mewled, keeping the sound as soft as possible, and let her eyelids turn heavy with pleasure while Ben stared at her, his own gaze dark and possessive. “You want this? You want me to fuck you with your belly full of our baby?” he seethed into her ear. 

“Yes,” she gasped, slamming her hands down on the counter and pushing herself against his cock while he set a brutal pace. Rey’s breasts were sensitive in her bra, a side effect from being pregnant, but Ben took no mercy as he pushed his hand under the metal wire and soft fabric to squeeze one of her nipples.

Their sex was rushed and frantic, only the sounds of slapping skin and hushed sounds filling the room until Ben let his hand go in her hair in favor of her clit. _“Ben!”_ Rey gasped loudly, her orgasm just seconds away if he continued the circles on her clit _just like that._

“Come for me. Come on my cock, sunshine. I want to feel that cunt I claimed months ago grip me,” Ben demanded gruffly. That was all it took for her to moan out his name and a few curse words before clenching around his length and pushing him over the edge right after. 

The feeling of his hot cum inside of her was soothing, the same thing that caused their daughter to come about, and that made Rey sigh contently at the thought. For a few moments, they just basked in the feeling of their afterglows before Ben carefully eased himself out of her and dropped her dress back over her bare skin.

Sated and happy, Rey turned around to help him return back to a professional looking state and lightly slapped his chest with a playful smile. “I hope that settled any nerves you had,” she teased. Ben just laughed and bent down for one last kiss until a loud knock came to his door.

“We’re ready, Ben! Let’s go!” a woman’s voice called on the other side. Grasping Rey’s hands affectionately, he squeezed them once and then led her out of the dressing room in the direction of the stage. 

As he rushed onto the marvelous black platform behind the dark red curtain with the rest of the dancers, all of them getting in position for the start of Act 1, he took one last second to look over at her and give her one last smile. 

It was in that moment, holding her belly carrying their little girl and staring at the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, that Rey knew that she was truly, completely, and genuinely happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's over y'all! I hope you enjoyed this fic, even I struggled sometimes to give it the attention it deserved. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it so, so much :) xx


End file.
